Enneagram
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Enneagram
Ever heard of the Enneagram?
My counselor turned me onto it and it's so accurate for me and my husband that I'm damn near obsessed with it. Basically it's this long standing theory that there are 9 basic personality types and each one has their strengths and defects. I'm a 1 (I'm such a 1 that it made me cry reading it for the first time, I'm a really rigid person but was previously unaware of that), my husband is a 9 (he took the test on his own, I'm not declaring him a 9, he declared himself a 9 - just for full disclosure.)
This is RAH, who is an ACOA: Type Nine in Brief
Nines are accepting, trusting, and stable. They are usually creative, optimistic, and supportive, but can also be too willing to go along with others to keep the peace. They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent, simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting. They typically have problems with inertia and stubbornness. At their Best: indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts.
Basic Fear: Of loss and separation
Basic Desire: To have inner stability "peace of mind"
Enneagram Nine with an Eight-Wing: "The Referee"
Enneagram Nine with a One-Wing: "The Dreamer"
Key Motivations: Want to create harmony in their environment, to avoid conflicts and tension, to preserve things as they are, to resist whatever would upset or disturb them
This is me, a type 1 who grew up with an NPD mom: Type One in Brief
Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change: always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake. Well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. They typically have problems with resentment and impatience. At their Best: wise, discerning, realistic, and noble. Can be morally heroic.
Basic Fear: Of being corrupt/evil, defective
Basic Desire: To be good, to have integrity, to be balanced
Enneagram One with a Nine-Wing: "The Idealist"
Enneagram One with a Two-Wing: "The Advocate"
Key Motivations: Want to be right, to strive higher and improve everything, to be consistent with their ideals, to justify themselves, to be beyond criticism so as not to be condemned by anyone.
I borrowed an Enneagram book from the library to figure out what personality type I am, but it has been really helpful for me and learning how to better communicate with my husband. He has no boundaries and until we individually took this test I had never, ever noticed that. I completely run over him and he just lets me. (He comes out of rehab tomorrow so I'm trying to remind myself now to remember to respect boundaries of his.)
More importantly, it has really helped me to read about how I'm NOT taking care of myself. In the book I borrowed it said that 1s typically count self help as "me" time and really struggle with doing things for themselves. That is me to a T. I have two times a week where I'm doing something for me: an hour with my counselor and an hour before that with my sponsor. Taking more time for myself than that makes me feel insanely guilty, but I'm learning to not view self-help as personal time - it's necessary work.
Anyway, I wanted to share that because it's been very eye opening for me in my little journey.
My counselor turned me onto it and it's so accurate for me and my husband that I'm damn near obsessed with it. Basically it's this long standing theory that there are 9 basic personality types and each one has their strengths and defects. I'm a 1 (I'm such a 1 that it made me cry reading it for the first time, I'm a really rigid person but was previously unaware of that), my husband is a 9 (he took the test on his own, I'm not declaring him a 9, he declared himself a 9 - just for full disclosure.)
This is RAH, who is an ACOA: Type Nine in Brief
Nines are accepting, trusting, and stable. They are usually creative, optimistic, and supportive, but can also be too willing to go along with others to keep the peace. They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent, simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting. They typically have problems with inertia and stubbornness. At their Best: indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts.
Basic Fear: Of loss and separation
Basic Desire: To have inner stability "peace of mind"
Enneagram Nine with an Eight-Wing: "The Referee"
Enneagram Nine with a One-Wing: "The Dreamer"
Key Motivations: Want to create harmony in their environment, to avoid conflicts and tension, to preserve things as they are, to resist whatever would upset or disturb them
This is me, a type 1 who grew up with an NPD mom: Type One in Brief
Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change: always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake. Well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. They typically have problems with resentment and impatience. At their Best: wise, discerning, realistic, and noble. Can be morally heroic.
Basic Fear: Of being corrupt/evil, defective
Basic Desire: To be good, to have integrity, to be balanced
Enneagram One with a Nine-Wing: "The Idealist"
Enneagram One with a Two-Wing: "The Advocate"
Key Motivations: Want to be right, to strive higher and improve everything, to be consistent with their ideals, to justify themselves, to be beyond criticism so as not to be condemned by anyone.
I borrowed an Enneagram book from the library to figure out what personality type I am, but it has been really helpful for me and learning how to better communicate with my husband. He has no boundaries and until we individually took this test I had never, ever noticed that. I completely run over him and he just lets me. (He comes out of rehab tomorrow so I'm trying to remind myself now to remember to respect boundaries of his.)
More importantly, it has really helped me to read about how I'm NOT taking care of myself. In the book I borrowed it said that 1s typically count self help as "me" time and really struggle with doing things for themselves. That is me to a T. I have two times a week where I'm doing something for me: an hour with my counselor and an hour before that with my sponsor. Taking more time for myself than that makes me feel insanely guilty, but I'm learning to not view self-help as personal time - it's necessary work.
Anyway, I wanted to share that because it's been very eye opening for me in my little journey.
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And here's a free test for anyone who might be curious about what type they are: Free Enneagram Personality Test
I just took this one and came out as a 1, again.
I just took this one and came out as a 1, again.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Imagine that, I'm a 2.
Type 2 (The Assistant)
Motivation: To be caring, considerate, thoughtful, loving
Potential problem: focusing on the welfare of others at the expense of individual/self development and needs
Motivation: To be caring, considerate, thoughtful, loving
Potential problem: focusing on the welfare of others at the expense of individual/self development and needs
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
I was absolutely in love with this for a few years after discovering it several years ago (7 or 8). I even went to workshops and worked with the Enneagram Institute for a while... If I had to name one single self-development aid that helped me the most, it was this. I also introduced many people into it.
Type 5, btw.
The ideas about "dominant instincts" is also worth looking into. There are also a few good books written by various authors that studied and developed this system.
Type 5, btw.
The ideas about "dominant instincts" is also worth looking into. There are also a few good books written by various authors that studied and developed this system.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Guys if you get ties between scores on the quickie test, you could do the longer versions (not sure if there are free ones online currently). I did it also with a psychologist friend who uses it in his practice. Also, just read the profile descriptions and see which one clicks best; tests based on simple questions are not the best approach for everyone.
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Posts: 2,066
Yep, what heannie said. The test that I took has 9 paragraphs that you read and you picked the top three that resonated with you. I'm a 1, 8 and 7. I'm dominantly a 1, I'm aggressive like an 8 and when I'm relaxed I'm a 7. You likely share traits with your "wings" as well, so since I'm a 1 I also share traits with 2s and 9s.
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Originally Posted by haennie 
Guys if you get ties between scores on the quickie test, you could do the longer versions (not sure if there are free ones online currently). I did it also with a psychologist friend who uses it in his practice. Also, just read the profile descriptions and see which one clicks best; tests based on simple questions are not the best approach for everyone.
Since the questions were for "most of your life", I think that the high scores in several areas might be residuals of my previous behavior- controlling, worrying, micromanaging, interfering in other people's lives- that I have largely let go of doing.
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Posts: 6,780
I took the test on the first link:
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||| 70%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||| 50%
Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||| 38%
Type 4 Individualism |||||||||||||| 58%
Type 5 Intellectualism |||||||||| 34%
Type 6 Security Focus |||||||||||||| 58%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||| 42%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||| 58%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||| 62%
Your main type is Type 1
Your variant stacking is sx/so/sp
Your level of health is above average
Your main type is which ever behavior you utilize most and/or prefer. Your variant reflects your scoring profile on all nine types: so = social variant (compliant, friendly), sx = sexual variant (assertive, intense), sp = self preservation variant (withdrawn, security seeking).
And then the longer 126-question test:
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||| 66%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||| 54%
Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||||| 48%
Type 4 Individualism |||||||||||||||| 66%
Type 5 Intellectualism |||||||||| 38%
Type 6 Security Focus |||||||||||||||| 64%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||| 58%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||| 62%
Your main type is Type 1
Your variant stacking is sx/so/sp
Your level of health is average
Your main type is which ever behavior you utilize most and/or prefer. Your variant reflects your scoring profile on all nine types: so = social variant (compliant, friendly), sx = sexual variant (assertive, intense), sp = self preservation variant (withdrawn, security seeking).
But I'm lost on interpreting the results.....anybody wanna analyze me? LOL
:help
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||| 70%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||| 50%
Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||| 38%
Type 4 Individualism |||||||||||||| 58%
Type 5 Intellectualism |||||||||| 34%
Type 6 Security Focus |||||||||||||| 58%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||| 42%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||| 58%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||| 62%
Your main type is Type 1
Your variant stacking is sx/so/sp
Your level of health is above average
Your main type is which ever behavior you utilize most and/or prefer. Your variant reflects your scoring profile on all nine types: so = social variant (compliant, friendly), sx = sexual variant (assertive, intense), sp = self preservation variant (withdrawn, security seeking).
And then the longer 126-question test:
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||| 66%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||| 54%
Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||||| 48%
Type 4 Individualism |||||||||||||||| 66%
Type 5 Intellectualism |||||||||| 38%
Type 6 Security Focus |||||||||||||||| 64%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||| 58%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||| 62%
Your main type is Type 1
Your variant stacking is sx/so/sp
Your level of health is average
Your main type is which ever behavior you utilize most and/or prefer. Your variant reflects your scoring profile on all nine types: so = social variant (compliant, friendly), sx = sexual variant (assertive, intense), sp = self preservation variant (withdrawn, security seeking).
But I'm lost on interpreting the results.....anybody wanna analyze me? LOL
:help
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Firesprite, you're likely a 1, 4 or 6. I would read the descriptions for those 3 and see which one you personally identify with most. 1 and 8 were my top two and they both fit me well but I am definitely a 1 through and through. The test is more like a guide. On the diagram there are two arrows for each number, for example, type 1 points to 7 and 4, so when 1s are relaxed they take on 7 traits (which is true for me) and when they're stressed they take on 4 traits (less true for me, I become an 8 when I'm stressed, 8s strive for justice and become angry.)
ETA: the original test I took gave percentages on how likely it would be that you correctly identified yourself and what people sometimes get themselves confused as. If you test high as a 1 it's very likely that you are actually a 1. 1 types tend to be extremely self aware.
ETA: the original test I took gave percentages on how likely it would be that you correctly identified yourself and what people sometimes get themselves confused as. If you test high as a 1 it's very likely that you are actually a 1. 1 types tend to be extremely self aware.
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Originally Posted by lillamy
So -- explain to me how this helps you? I know I'm putting other people's needs above my own and I know I'm a perfectionist. OK. Then what?
These are the suggestions for type 1 personalities.
Personal Growth Recommendations
for Enneagram Type Ones
Learn to relax. Take some time for yourself, without feeling that everything is up to you or that what you do not accomplish will result in chaos and disaster. Mercifully, the salvation of the world does not depend on you alone, even though you may sometimes feel it does.
You have a lot to teach others and are probably a good teacher, but do not expect others to change immediately. What is obvious to you may not be as obvious to them, especially if they are not used to being as self-disciplined and objective about themselves as you are about yourself. Many people may also want to do what is right and may agree with you in principle but for various reasons simply cannot change right away. The fact that others do not change immediately according to your prescriptions does not mean that they will not change sometime in the future. Your words and above all, your example may do more good than you realize, although they may take longer than you expect. So have patience.
It is easy for you to work yourself up into a lather about the wrongdoings of others. And it may sometimes be true that they are wrong. But what is it to you? Your irritation with them will do nothing to help them see another way of being. Similarly, beware of your constant irritation with your own "shortcomings." Does your own harsh self-criticism really help you to improve? Or does it simply make you tense, nervous, and self-doubting? Learn to recognize the attacks of your superego and how they undermine you rather than helping you.
It is important for you to get in touch with your feelings, particularly your unconscious impulses. You may find that you are uneasy with your emotions and your sexual and aggressive impulses—in short, with the messy human things that make us human. It might be beneficial to keep a journal or to get into some kind of group therapy or other group work both to develop your emotions and to see that others will not condemn you for having human needs and limitations.
Your Achilles' heel is your self-righteous anger. You get angry easily and are offended by what seems to you to be the perverse refusal of others to do the right thing—as you have defined it. Try to step back and see that your anger alienates people so that they cannot hear many of the good things you have to say. Further, your own repressed anger may well be giving you an ulcer or high blood pressure and is a harbinger of worse things to come.
for Enneagram Type Ones
Learn to relax. Take some time for yourself, without feeling that everything is up to you or that what you do not accomplish will result in chaos and disaster. Mercifully, the salvation of the world does not depend on you alone, even though you may sometimes feel it does.
You have a lot to teach others and are probably a good teacher, but do not expect others to change immediately. What is obvious to you may not be as obvious to them, especially if they are not used to being as self-disciplined and objective about themselves as you are about yourself. Many people may also want to do what is right and may agree with you in principle but for various reasons simply cannot change right away. The fact that others do not change immediately according to your prescriptions does not mean that they will not change sometime in the future. Your words and above all, your example may do more good than you realize, although they may take longer than you expect. So have patience.
It is easy for you to work yourself up into a lather about the wrongdoings of others. And it may sometimes be true that they are wrong. But what is it to you? Your irritation with them will do nothing to help them see another way of being. Similarly, beware of your constant irritation with your own "shortcomings." Does your own harsh self-criticism really help you to improve? Or does it simply make you tense, nervous, and self-doubting? Learn to recognize the attacks of your superego and how they undermine you rather than helping you.
It is important for you to get in touch with your feelings, particularly your unconscious impulses. You may find that you are uneasy with your emotions and your sexual and aggressive impulses—in short, with the messy human things that make us human. It might be beneficial to keep a journal or to get into some kind of group therapy or other group work both to develop your emotions and to see that others will not condemn you for having human needs and limitations.
Your Achilles' heel is your self-righteous anger. You get angry easily and are offended by what seems to you to be the perverse refusal of others to do the right thing—as you have defined it. Try to step back and see that your anger alienates people so that they cannot hear many of the good things you have to say. Further, your own repressed anger may well be giving you an ulcer or high blood pressure and is a harbinger of worse things to come.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Originally Posted by ladyscribbler
I wonder how much of it was my true personality coming through, and how much of it was ACoA and codependency traits that I learned in childhood. This past year I've been working my recovery and letting go of things that used to be very much entrenched in my psyche.
Since the questions were for "most of your life", I think that the high scores in several areas might be residuals of my previous behavior- controlling, worrying, micromanaging, interfering in other people's lives- that I have largely let go of doing.
Since the questions were for "most of your life", I think that the high scores in several areas might be residuals of my previous behavior- controlling, worrying, micromanaging, interfering in other people's lives- that I have largely let go of doing.
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I'm type 4. With 5 and 7 25% behind. So I think I'm a super special snowflake lol. It's pretty accurate.
I have a question - I didn't know if I should answer in the sense of what I am naturally inclined to do, or what my present day life demands me to do.
Like putting others' needs before mine. That really isn't my natural predilection, but with four kids and a husband I do it all day long. Which do they want?
I have a question - I didn't know if I should answer in the sense of what I am naturally inclined to do, or what my present day life demands me to do.
Like putting others' needs before mine. That really isn't my natural predilection, but with four kids and a husband I do it all day long. Which do they want?
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