Enneagram
It is easy for you to work yourself up into a lather about the wrongdoings of others. And it may sometimes be true that they are wrong. But what is it to you? Your irritation with them will do nothing to help them see another way of being. Similarly, beware of your constant irritation with your own "shortcomings." Does your own harsh self-criticism really help you to improve? Or does it simply make you tense, nervous, and self-doubting? Learn to recognize the attacks of your superego and how they undermine you rather than helping you.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
This site has suggestions on how to relate to other types (the book I read had this info in it too), which is helpful in learning how to better communicate with my husband. 9types.com - Enneagram tests, type descriptions, forums
This is how to communicate with Type 9s, which isn't how I would naturally talk to someone. LOL
This is how to communicate with Type 9s, which isn't how I would naturally talk to someone. LOL
How to Get Along with Me
If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.
I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advatage of this.
Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.
Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.
Ask me questions to help me get clear.
Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.
Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.
I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.
Let me know you like what I've done or said.
Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.
If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.
I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advatage of this.
Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.
Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.
Ask me questions to help me get clear.
Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.
Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.
I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.
Let me know you like what I've done or said.
Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
I'm type 4. With 5 and 7 25% behind. So I think I'm a super special snowflake lol. It's pretty accurate.
I have a question - I didn't know if I should answer in the sense of what I am naturally inclined to do, or what my present day life demands me to do.
Like putting others' needs before mine. That really isn't my natural predilection, but with four kids and a husband I do it all day long. Which do they want?
I have a question - I didn't know if I should answer in the sense of what I am naturally inclined to do, or what my present day life demands me to do.
Like putting others' needs before mine. That really isn't my natural predilection, but with four kids and a husband I do it all day long. Which do they want?
I'm a type 6 - 74%, closely backed up by a Type 1, 70%, Type 5, 62% and an 8, 58%. so that makes me a:
Cautious, Dutiful Worker, Thinker, Boss.
oh and this is depressing...my lowest score was type 4, Individualism.
so i'm a safe boring thoughtful control freak - AWESOME.
I'd never get Hank to do one of those tests, not sure i could adequately pinch-hit for him...........hmmmm.
ok, so is it a bit codie to DO the test for him??? pffft, whatever.
Hank (as Anvil sees him) is a:
Type 9, 78%, with a type 7, 62% - followed distantly by type 8, 42%, type 1, 38%
Stoic, Thrillest. Strives for peace and calm and fun. yup that sounds like Hank!!! and interesting that we overlap on 8 and 1........
Cautious, Dutiful Worker, Thinker, Boss.
oh and this is depressing...my lowest score was type 4, Individualism.
so i'm a safe boring thoughtful control freak - AWESOME.
I'd never get Hank to do one of those tests, not sure i could adequately pinch-hit for him...........hmmmm.
ok, so is it a bit codie to DO the test for him??? pffft, whatever.
Hank (as Anvil sees him) is a:
Type 9, 78%, with a type 7, 62% - followed distantly by type 8, 42%, type 1, 38%
Stoic, Thrillest. Strives for peace and calm and fun. yup that sounds like Hank!!! and interesting that we overlap on 8 and 1........
Type 1 on the short test, type 1/6 split equally on the longer test.
I suspect RAH will also be a type 1/6, will see if he's interested in taking this when he gets home from work.
RAH and I recently took the Myers-Briggs test (http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test) and were both type ISFJ, the Sentinel. I (shockingly) was the Assertive variant and he (equally shockingly) was the Turbulent variant.
I find it interesting to see how some of the folks here who I've "known" for a while scored on the Enneagram--thanks for sharing, everybody!
__________________
I suspect RAH will also be a type 1/6, will see if he's interested in taking this when he gets home from work.
RAH and I recently took the Myers-Briggs test (http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test) and were both type ISFJ, the Sentinel. I (shockingly) was the Assertive variant and he (equally shockingly) was the Turbulent variant.
I find it interesting to see how some of the folks here who I've "known" for a while scored on the Enneagram--thanks for sharing, everybody!
__________________
I came up as INFJ on that one. Variant Assertive Role Diplomat
that test tells you all the nice things about yourself..
INFJs indeed share a very unique combination of traits: though soft-spoken, they have very strong opinions and will fight tirelessly for an idea they believe in. They are decisive and strong-willed, but will rarely use that energy for personal gain – INFJs will act with creativity, imagination, conviction and sensitivity not to create advantage, but to create balance. Egalitarianism and karma are very attractive ideas to INFJs, and they tend to believe that nothing would help the world so much as using love and compassion to soften the hearts of tyrants.
ETA: Oh - just need to keep reading. The dark side shines forth, haha.
that test tells you all the nice things about yourself..
INFJs indeed share a very unique combination of traits: though soft-spoken, they have very strong opinions and will fight tirelessly for an idea they believe in. They are decisive and strong-willed, but will rarely use that energy for personal gain – INFJs will act with creativity, imagination, conviction and sensitivity not to create advantage, but to create balance. Egalitarianism and karma are very attractive ideas to INFJs, and they tend to believe that nothing would help the world so much as using love and compassion to soften the hearts of tyrants.
ETA: Oh - just need to keep reading. The dark side shines forth, haha.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
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Someone on the alcoholic side commented about the Meyers one on a thread over there a few weeks ago. I took that test, I was an ENTJ. That felt like an aptitude test to me. It was part of the reason I signed myself up for acting classes.
I'm also an INFJ (found out in '85) but have yet to do the other evaluation. I'll check into it. I have a book called Please Understand Me 2 with the 16 types in detail that was a big help to me since we are in less than 2% of the general population.
funny - when i first did Myers-Briggs WAY back in my 20s(?) i was an introvert something or other. (ISFP?)
just took the test and TODAY at 54 i'm an ESTJ - Administrator.
Which is my JOB TITLE.
Extroverted 51%, Introverted 49%
Sensing 81%, Intuitive 19%
Thnking 52%, Feeling 48%
Judging 64%, Perceiving 36%
interesting that how i perceived and related to the world has changed, and that i've moved from introvert to extrovert. i imagine there are one or two folks HERE that would never have thought of me as introverted....hahaha
ESTJ in a Nutshell
ESTJs are hardworking traditionalists, eager to take charge in organizing projects and people. Orderly, rule-abiding, and conscientious, ESTJs like to get things done, and tend to go about projects in a systematic, methodical way.
ESTJs are the consummate organizers, and want to bring structure to their surroundings. They value predictability and prefer things to proceed in a logical order. When they see a lack of organization, the ESTJ often takes the initiative to establish processes and guidelines, so that everyone knows what's expected.
What Makes the ESTJ Tick
ESTJs are conventional, factual, and grounded in reality. For the ESTJ, the proof is in the past: what has worked and what has been done before. They value evidence over conjecture, and trust their personal experience. ESTJs look for rules to follow and standards to meet, and often take a leadership role in helping other people meet expectations as well. They concern themselves with maintaining the social order and keeping others in line.
ESTJs often take on a project manager role at home as well as at work, and excel at setting goals, making decisions, and organizing resources to accomplish a task. The ESTJ wants to achieve efficient productivity and typically believes this is best accomplished when people and systems are well organized.
-Two big events in my life this week - our first ever work group retreat, which i as the ADMINISTRATOR of our group, am tasked with organizing, arranging, point of contact with retreat center, making up the name tags (after AGONIZING over the type of font to use), all that stuff. then the NEXT day, Friday, is the annual United Way Day of Caring and i'm the coordinator for our institution AND the leader for one of the teams! we have a total of 5 teams this year, and somwhere around 75 volunteers. (I always want more, but i can't drag them down the street to the project site!!!). I've been involved with Day of Caring almost since it's inception, about 20 years and have been the coordinator for about 15......
just took the test and TODAY at 54 i'm an ESTJ - Administrator.
Which is my JOB TITLE.
Extroverted 51%, Introverted 49%
Sensing 81%, Intuitive 19%
Thnking 52%, Feeling 48%
Judging 64%, Perceiving 36%
interesting that how i perceived and related to the world has changed, and that i've moved from introvert to extrovert. i imagine there are one or two folks HERE that would never have thought of me as introverted....hahaha
ESTJ in a Nutshell
ESTJs are hardworking traditionalists, eager to take charge in organizing projects and people. Orderly, rule-abiding, and conscientious, ESTJs like to get things done, and tend to go about projects in a systematic, methodical way.
ESTJs are the consummate organizers, and want to bring structure to their surroundings. They value predictability and prefer things to proceed in a logical order. When they see a lack of organization, the ESTJ often takes the initiative to establish processes and guidelines, so that everyone knows what's expected.
What Makes the ESTJ Tick
ESTJs are conventional, factual, and grounded in reality. For the ESTJ, the proof is in the past: what has worked and what has been done before. They value evidence over conjecture, and trust their personal experience. ESTJs look for rules to follow and standards to meet, and often take a leadership role in helping other people meet expectations as well. They concern themselves with maintaining the social order and keeping others in line.
ESTJs often take on a project manager role at home as well as at work, and excel at setting goals, making decisions, and organizing resources to accomplish a task. The ESTJ wants to achieve efficient productivity and typically believes this is best accomplished when people and systems are well organized.
-Two big events in my life this week - our first ever work group retreat, which i as the ADMINISTRATOR of our group, am tasked with organizing, arranging, point of contact with retreat center, making up the name tags (after AGONIZING over the type of font to use), all that stuff. then the NEXT day, Friday, is the annual United Way Day of Caring and i'm the coordinator for our institution AND the leader for one of the teams! we have a total of 5 teams this year, and somwhere around 75 volunteers. (I always want more, but i can't drag them down the street to the project site!!!). I've been involved with Day of Caring almost since it's inception, about 20 years and have been the coordinator for about 15......
See, I have a bone to pick with all these personality tests. And nobody take it personally, OK, because I am saying this kind of tongue in cheek.
The problem with those personality tests and the way they recommend that you interact with people of other personality types is... the same as diversity training in the workplace: The people who don't need it are the people who pay attention, and the people who need it aren't ever gonna use it.
As a card-carrying codie, I already know I'm a people pleaser; I know I put other people's needs above my own; I know I'm a perfectionist; and I know pretty well how to communicate with (and manipulate) people with other personality types. I don't need this information -- they do!
The problem with those personality tests and the way they recommend that you interact with people of other personality types is... the same as diversity training in the workplace: The people who don't need it are the people who pay attention, and the people who need it aren't ever gonna use it.
As a card-carrying codie, I already know I'm a people pleaser; I know I put other people's needs above my own; I know I'm a perfectionist; and I know pretty well how to communicate with (and manipulate) people with other personality types. I don't need this information -- they do!
We had one of these books floating around the house for years and it really looked too look much like geometry. I tested 5 in Type 1,3,5,6 and tested 6 on 4 and 9. So I guess the most 'me' is 9 with a 1 wing? I have no idea why I tested so evenly across the board.
On the other link I tested pretty clearly at a 9- 1 wing?
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||| 78%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||||| 74%
Type 3 Image Focus |||||| 30%
Type 4 Individualism |||||||||||||||| 66%
Type 5 Intellectualism |||||||||||||| 54%
Type 6 Security Focus |||||||||||||||||| 74%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||| 18%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||| 38%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||||||| 86%
type score type behavior motivation
9 21 I must maintain peace/calm to survive.
1 19 I must be perfect and good to survive.
2 18 I must be helpful and caring to survive.
6 18 I must be secure and safe to survive.
4 16 I must be unique/different to survive.
5 13 I must be knowledgeable to survive.
8 9 I must be strong and in control to survive.
3 7 I must be impressive and attractive to survive.
7 4 I must be fun and entertained to survive.
Your main type is Type 9
Your variant stacking is spsosx
Your level of health is average
Your main type is which ever behavior you utilize most and/or prefer. Your variant reflects your scoring profile on all nine types: so = social variant (compliant, friendly), sx = sexual variant (assertive, intense), sp = self preservation variant (withdrawn, security seeking).
On Myers-Briggs I am INFP.
These are fun as having lost who I was for a while, it is nice to say - yeah I am acting more myself again...
On the other link I tested pretty clearly at a 9- 1 wing?
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||| 78%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||||| 74%
Type 3 Image Focus |||||| 30%
Type 4 Individualism |||||||||||||||| 66%
Type 5 Intellectualism |||||||||||||| 54%
Type 6 Security Focus |||||||||||||||||| 74%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||| 18%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||| 38%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||||||| 86%
type score type behavior motivation
9 21 I must maintain peace/calm to survive.
1 19 I must be perfect and good to survive.
2 18 I must be helpful and caring to survive.
6 18 I must be secure and safe to survive.
4 16 I must be unique/different to survive.
5 13 I must be knowledgeable to survive.
8 9 I must be strong and in control to survive.
3 7 I must be impressive and attractive to survive.
7 4 I must be fun and entertained to survive.
Your main type is Type 9
Your variant stacking is spsosx
Your level of health is average
Your main type is which ever behavior you utilize most and/or prefer. Your variant reflects your scoring profile on all nine types: so = social variant (compliant, friendly), sx = sexual variant (assertive, intense), sp = self preservation variant (withdrawn, security seeking).
On Myers-Briggs I am INFP.
These are fun as having lost who I was for a while, it is nice to say - yeah I am acting more myself again...
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