Husband is sick from alcohol
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Puddle, I really hope this period of sobriety works for him, and luckily (!) he has very serious health reasons to stick to it this time. As do drink themselves to death but the pain involved with pancreatitis is a strong motivator not to drink. Plus his love for you and your son.
I don't think you mentioned whether you made it to Alanon? Just to say that as an atheist I understand your reservations, and it kept me away from AA when I was a recovering A, but I would have tried it if I felt I needed it. But Australia is a much more secular society than the US so it might be different where you are.
Wishing you all the best. Don't forget to have outings and fun with your AH, and son.
I don't think you mentioned whether you made it to Alanon? Just to say that as an atheist I understand your reservations, and it kept me away from AA when I was a recovering A, but I would have tried it if I felt I needed it. But Australia is a much more secular society than the US so it might be different where you are.
Wishing you all the best. Don't forget to have outings and fun with your AH, and son.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 137
Originally Posted by puddle 
Hello, I'm here because of my husband. He has always drank a lot since we met but he had cut back ever since we had a baby who is still very young. He has frequently said he wants to stop drinking or that he is taking a break from drinking but then he says he needs a drink to go to sleep or to calm his anxiety. He admits he is physically addicted to alcohol.
Today he went to the hospital for bad stomach pain and it turns out he has pancreatitis. He has to be hospitalized for several days. His heart rate is very high and the doctors say he may be having alcohol withdrawal or some other kind of sickness on top of the pancreatitis. He told the doctor he drinks 3 - 7 drinks a day and I didn't realize it was that much. He told me that the IPA beers that he drinks count as more units than regular beers. So maybe he does drink the same amount as he did before but I didn't even realize it. He definitely used to binge drink and get drunk a lot and so it's strange that now he gets sick and before he didn't.
I am just feeling overwhelmed and already had stress from being a new mom with physical and emotional issues from attempts at breastfeeding and related illnesses and struggles. I know I should be mad at him but I mostly feel really bad for him. I can tell that he doesn't want to do this but he does. At the same time I know I can't cure him and I need to focus on myself and my son, even though I do love my husband and I do want to support him in not drinking if that's what he wants.
I am looking for some support and I don't want to go to Alanon because I am an atheist and I don't believe in a higher power. I am also not a people person and am very private so I would prefer an online support group.
Today he went to the hospital for bad stomach pain and it turns out he has pancreatitis. He has to be hospitalized for several days. His heart rate is very high and the doctors say he may be having alcohol withdrawal or some other kind of sickness on top of the pancreatitis. He told the doctor he drinks 3 - 7 drinks a day and I didn't realize it was that much. He told me that the IPA beers that he drinks count as more units than regular beers. So maybe he does drink the same amount as he did before but I didn't even realize it. He definitely used to binge drink and get drunk a lot and so it's strange that now he gets sick and before he didn't.
I am just feeling overwhelmed and already had stress from being a new mom with physical and emotional issues from attempts at breastfeeding and related illnesses and struggles. I know I should be mad at him but I mostly feel really bad for him. I can tell that he doesn't want to do this but he does. At the same time I know I can't cure him and I need to focus on myself and my son, even though I do love my husband and I do want to support him in not drinking if that's what he wants.
I am looking for some support and I don't want to go to Alanon because I am an atheist and I don't believe in a higher power. I am also not a people person and am very private so I would prefer an online support group.
many of my atheist friends find Buddhism works and makes sense to them. In fact, my friend Ray Hill who is prominent atheist activist has used a combination of AA with Buddhism to stay sober 17 years.
he said the Buddhism helped with the "guilt" that kept him stuck. When he brought in someone to his prison AA group to teach "Eastern Meditation" the size of the membership multiplied from 250 members to 2500, or something like that.
As for the higher power business, if you believe in Truth and Wisdom, in the forces of Nature or Life to move toward Justice and Good Will, in the power of Love and Compassion to heal people and relations, all those are a form of a "higher power". Any laws like the "law of attraction" or the "abundance mentality" vs scarcity, or laws of karma "what comes around goes around" "you reap what you sow" -- all those are a form of a higher collective power or force in life that drives things in a positive direction, even the human learning curve to push forward.
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