HealingWillCome

I've been thinking about these exact same things, lillamy. We at SR see Robin's death through a very different lens than many others, I think. Of course we will remember the laughs he gave us, but there is a much bigger story to his legacy than his comedy. People who don't truly understand depression, bipolar illness, etc., keep saying the same things--"focus on the good!" We can do that too, but to ignore the rest would be just that--ignorant.

I have been praying that his suicide doesn't validate/encourage those tendencies for others contemplating suicide. I just keep saying my prayers. He was such a light. I pray that his death will somehow only bring more light to others.

lillamy

I just have to stay off social media today. The level of ignorance is just dumbfounding.

But I will share one thing that someone in a blog said:

When someone dies from cancer, we say they died from cancer. We don't say they died from heart failure even if that is what actually killed them in the end. We look at the big diagnosis and say "they died from cancer."

In the same way, this blogger said, Robin Williams didn't "die from suicide" -- he died from depression. Just like those As we know and love (or sometimes can't stand to love anymore) die from alcoholism. Even if the actual thing that kills them is liver failure or suicide.

That perspective was actually sort of a relief to me. Because it takes away the "blame" that people place on addicts and people who commit suicide.

lillamy

Oh, and redatlanta, your point about depression and addiction not discriminating is one I've tried to make repeatedly in the past 12 hours. People keep asking "why did someone who had so much kill himself?"

At the end of the day, all we have is ourselves, our faith, our hope, our attitude. Sometimes even our will can't be trusted. Doesn't matter how many Oscars you have or how fat your bank account is.

honeypig

redatlanta, lillamy, HWC, I have had to turn off the radio (public radio stations) numerous times today just b/c I couldn't stand the ignorance of so many of the comments being made. Joan Rivers speculating that his depression was due to not being recognized as a great actor, only the 1 Oscar, and thus his suicide? Come on...

And yes, so many folks saying "if only he'd let people know, they could have helped." Finally I heard one psych guest say that when a person is in severe depression, his/her view of the world is distorted and they aren't thinking like a normal person would. Well, thank heavens for a voice of knowledge/understanding!

It is a horrible waste and a crying shame. It's good to come here and read comments from those who "get it", as much as it can be gotten.

And selfishly, part of the sadness for me is being shown, once again, how even years of recovery are no guarantee. Every day any of us has w/our qualifier in recovery is such a gift--and such a gamble.

readerbaby71

"I also felt I’d glimpsed something of the blue-eyed bleakness that could leak through the actor’s performances, no matter the genre. The sense that his comic genius and dramatic angst were the tip of an iceberg of sizable psychic pain, one he negotiated on a daily basis, until, perhaps, he couldn’t. There is something horribly modern to be read in his death, even as we’ll probably never know (nor should we) what drove him to suicide. Robin Williams acted out the farce and the tragedy of the man who cannot stop being aware of himself. He may someday look like a Kafka hero stranded in Hollywood."

Robin Williams entertained us all, but the pain in his eyes was unmistakeable - Arts - The Boston Globe

NYCDoglvr

I'm a recovering alcoholic (22 years) who has also been dealing with major depression most of my life. I don't think what the others have said. It does make me realize, however, that I'm only sober and alive TODAY. And that people can struggle, do all the right things, and still get to the terrible point where death seems like the only answer. I call it "depression think". It's irrational thinking characteristic of serious depression. You believe it will never end and that there is no solution. Alcoholism and depression (or bipolar disorder in Williams' case) are brain diseases and both result in many deaths. I knew someone sober six years who stopped taking his meds. He then drank and jumped in the East River of New York despite having a wonderful wife and six month old baby. His family felt utter rage at him, I felt compassion because I've been that depressed.

[QUOTEI have had to turn off the radio (public radio stations) numerous times today just b/c I couldn't stand the ignorance of so many of the comments being made. Joan Rivers speculating that his depression was due to not being recognized as a great actor, only the 1 Oscar, and thus his suicide? Come on...][/QUOTE]

Don't judge people when you haven't walked in their shoes! The disease of depression is very different from feeling depressed. Major depression is characterized by distorted thinking, beliefs that are simply not true.

lillamy

Thank you, Doglover. (My phone autocorrected that to "Dogliver" which gave me a much-needed laugh today!)

I think that's the thing many people miss. That your thinking in depression does not function as it does normally. I've been there. I know first-hand how dark and hopeless it can get.

honeypig

NYCDoglovr, I think you misunderstood my post. I am agreeing that someone with severe depression does not see the world or function like a "normal" person, that suicide is NOT a selfish act but a desperate one by someone who truly thinks there is no other way out. Here's what I said: Finally I heard one psych guest say that when a person is in severe depression, his/her view of the world is distorted and they aren't thinking like a normal person would. Well, thank heavens for a voice of knowledge/understanding!

I am pooh-poohing Joan Rivers' comment on the radio show that she thought RW's depression was due to his lack of recognition for his acting talents, and as such the cause of his suicide. I was amazed at the general lack of understanding that severe depression and feeling "depressed" are 2 completely different things.

HealingWillCome

Solidifies my continued dislike of Joan Rivers. Just saying.

redatlanta

Joan Rivers is a trifling B***h.

To minimize an accomplished life to possible failure of not receiving as many awards as he should have PUH-LEASE.

The one thing is his life that seemed to have no issues was his career. There will be 4 movies coming out with him in it and he was set to do Mrs. Doubtfire 2.

I guess she missed the many interviews regarding his depression and addiction issues.

redatlanta

And even more pathetic her own husband committed suicide. What a reckless comment.

HealingWillCome

Yeah, I get a little triggered by the heartlessness in her comments. I'm biting my tongue right now...

NYCDoglvr

Actually I was agreeing with you Honeypig. I also hate it when people make stupid remarks like that, when someone like Joan Rivers makes judgements. As one who has dealt with major depression most of my life I know the thinking is indeed distorted ("depression think").

honeypig

Glad we're on the same page, NYC! I want to go back and watch my favorite movies of his now, but I daresay they'll be in short supply on Netflix (we are old-fashioned and get the actual DVDs rather than streaming).

I was appalled by details that I read in some articles; I can't imagine the family wants that sort of thing publicized.

Again, what a crying shame and what a waste.

Rosiepetal

I work in the death industry.
At the same time as Robin's death I was also dealing with a suicide.
I can tell you that each suicide is different, the effect on the families left behind is different, the reason for suicide is different, the way people deal with & manage their affairs is different, grief is different.
There are plenty of people out their that think suicide is selfish & they don't understand.
I see the families left behind & their grief.
I do not form the opinion that these people are selfish.
What I see is someone not coping with life & feeling like suicide is their answer to their problems.
As an ex drug abuser, a person living with a RABF & seeing suicide on a regular basis my heart goes out to Robin & his family. I felt affected by his death although I didn't know him but I show total empathy for his situation.

LadyinBC

So very very true, thanks for putting it in perspective.

I was so sorry to hear about this, keeping his family in my thoughts and prayers.

cookiesncream

Thank you Doglvr. It took me many years to realize it, took a writing group critiquing a piece I'd written in fact about my Dad, to all say to me when I explained his behavior that the man was Bi-Polar. Crystal clear to me now, clear as day. He suffered from depression most of his adult life and only in the last few years did he pick up drinking, became an alcoholic. Sadly he also took the path Robin Williams did and killed himself two months after quitting drinking cold turkey. I guess so many years later that I look back and forgive Dad. He had seen psychiatrists and nothing was working so he self medicated. I too regard his death in my own mind as being caused by bi-polar disorder which never managed to be treated. My heart goes out to you and every single person that suffers from the devastating disease known as depression.

I will have to watch the video posted.

Peace

CarryOn

I caught the 20/20 special on tonight a little over halfway through. They did a segment focused on his depression and addictions, which I was glad to see that they addressed. They also showed a few posts from celebrities, including Chevy Chase who mentioned his own plight with depression, calling for more attention to depression and/or mental illness in general. When a celebrity dies of mental illness or addiction (like PSH earlier this year), I hope that others in their industry will step up & use their celebrity to bring attention & understanding. I can hope they'll use it for something good, right? If nothing else, I'm glad to see it has people talking on various blogs & forums.

I think Robin Williams was a tremendous talent. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family & friends...I pray they can find comfort at this sad time. RIP, Robin.

HealingWillCome

I enjoyed this. Thought some of you might, too.

This impromptu Robin Williams memorial at a Boston park bench will move you to tears | 22 Words

Argnotthisagain

I...I have no words. Always loved him. Such a brilliant light. But as the Boston Herald writer said, I too sensed something--pain, sadness--in his face, behind his eyes. But I couldn't articulate what I sensed. Maybe due to my own blind spots....whatever.

Seeing that editor's comment, however, brought it out clearly for me.

It's just heartbreaking and hard to fathom. Such a great, beloved soul.