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Hatred vs Indifference

Old 08-04-2014, 09:46 AM
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Hatred vs Indifference

I have heard it said the opposite of love is'nt hatred, it's indifference. It's an interesting statement. I don't hate my AW. Quite the opposite, I love her to death. But I find myself being more and more indifferent to what she does or how she behaves. To me being indifferent has some of the same characteristics as detachement. Let me know your thoughts
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Old 08-04-2014, 09:54 AM
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I agree with you. My X has done some things in the past that many would hate him for. Eh....I am indifferent. I wish him well. I want him to be a better person. I feel hate is more toxic for the hater than the hated.

I can say I hate what addiction does to families, but I don't think I can ever hate another human being.
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Old 08-04-2014, 10:05 AM
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"I can say I hate what addiction does to families, but I don't think I can ever hate another human being".

very well said. I absolutley HATE what this has done to my family..I hate the fact that she doesnt see it. I hate the fact that there is nothing I can do for her, but I dont hate her.
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Old 08-04-2014, 10:06 AM
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This is exactly how I am feeling at the moment, the most recent issue was finding out about my ah cheating and I don't seem to feel anything at the moment, kind of empty!! Some kind of defence mechanism to help cope with things, who knows? The thing I am aware of is trying to not let my indifference allow me to put up with things that no person should ever put up with!
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Old 08-04-2014, 10:42 AM
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I am in the same spot. I don't hate her I just hate her behavior and what it has done to us having any chance of a marriage. But I am pretty much indifferent to the lies and things she is saying and towards her and the "relationship" in general.
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Old 08-04-2014, 11:12 AM
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I agree that is similar to how I feel now and have felt for a long time. I would prefer my STBXAH sober but I am really indifferent to it. He knows he has a problem and if he chooses to drink then so be it. We are in the divorce process and his behaviors are his and mine are mine.
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Old 08-04-2014, 11:21 AM
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I fall into the indifference camp. The hatred dissipated when I detached and stopped taking his behavior personally and saw how I had also been a participant and contributed to my own misery.
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Old 08-04-2014, 11:25 AM
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I don't know that I ever hated my ex. I lived in fear of him. I still do, but less and less. I am completely indifferent to what he does with his life. I'm not able to be indifferent to what his choices have meant for our children. That's the thorn that I'm still working on. I have forgiven him for what he did to me.
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