Need strength - going to be working with AXBF
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 39
Need strength - going to be working with AXBF
Well my worst nightmare has come to fruition...I am getting transferred back to the main office at my company which is where XABF and I met and where he still works. We are still no contact since April 17. I found out about my transfer a few weeks ago and have been dreading it ever since! Just when I was starting to feel semi-ok and now he is going to be in my face every day at work.
So then today I get a text message from him out of the blue after no contact since April 17, congratulating me on my work transfer and stating that I will do very well there. Did not ask to talk or how I'm doing or offer an apology for what he put me through or anything like that. My heart sank into my stomach. Do you think he is sincerely wishing me well or is he testing me to see if I will reopen the lines of communication? I wrote back "Thank You" and that was it. I was somewhat hoping for some kind of apology or expression of regret on his part. But, nothing.
I think when I see him at work I will feel physically ill.
So then today I get a text message from him out of the blue after no contact since April 17, congratulating me on my work transfer and stating that I will do very well there. Did not ask to talk or how I'm doing or offer an apology for what he put me through or anything like that. My heart sank into my stomach. Do you think he is sincerely wishing me well or is he testing me to see if I will reopen the lines of communication? I wrote back "Thank You" and that was it. I was somewhat hoping for some kind of apology or expression of regret on his part. But, nothing.
I think when I see him at work I will feel physically ill.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Hello Amanda,
My RAH has been sober 13+ mo. No amends from him. We will mark 20 years married this month. There is plenty of fodder for an amends!
So I understand the focus on that moment of resolution. He is drinking. He chose alcohol over you. In his mind there is nothing to say I imagine. This is your life, not a movie script with drama and a clear plot. Take care of you. Do well.
My RAH has been sober 13+ mo. No amends from him. We will mark 20 years married this month. There is plenty of fodder for an amends!
So I understand the focus on that moment of resolution. He is drinking. He chose alcohol over you. In his mind there is nothing to say I imagine. This is your life, not a movie script with drama and a clear plot. Take care of you. Do well.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 873
Hi AmandaOliver- I wouldn't look into the text message for a hidden agenda. I know it hurts like heck but in the long scheme of things it doesn't matter because you are working on being healthy and happy.
Look at the positive you have a job and making money. I have been searching for a job for months and the anxiety is killing me.
If I talked to my xAH he would apologize but then if I wanted to know why he did something his response would be " I don't know , or I am confused". Those words are enough to put in on the 7oclock news.
My point is staying on your side of the street is the way to stay!!
Look at the positive you have a job and making money. I have been searching for a job for months and the anxiety is killing me.
If I talked to my xAH he would apologize but then if I wanted to know why he did something his response would be " I don't know , or I am confused". Those words are enough to put in on the 7oclock news.
My point is staying on your side of the street is the way to stay!!
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