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Gutt twisting mistake

Old 04-11-2014, 01:24 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Thank-you Radient for your thread.
I have an Addicted X Fiance and when I first found out he was cheating, I looked at his phone. It was on the table. I had never thought to do that before. I had found a napkin with a number on it and he said it was a friend he went to high school with. Well, the phone was a whole different story and then I looked into his facebook and it was horrible. He was leading a double life. I didn't know he was using and cheating and all that. He just had a baby with someone else and I am trying to move on....
I looked at her facebook once and it almost killed me. So I blocked her so I wouldn't be tempted to look them up. He wanted to send me a picture of the baby and thinks I should be happy for him. In a way I am because it means we are over for good. Many years of back and forth is finally over. I am just alone and trying to make sense of it all and move on. I was a social binge drinker so I have my own issues I am taking care of and it helps being on here. I am just taking it one day at a time. I got super into yoga and have been going 5-6X a week for the last 6 months. That helps! Focusing on myself. I can't believe I was so sick to obsess about what he was doing. He turned me down for sex so many times but then had a weird sex addiction too. He is just addicted. I liked what you said, I'm going to 'stay on my side of the road'. I realize that I can apply that to all relationships. I have a tendency to want to 'fix' and get involved. It is so draining. Probably because I didn't want to deal with my own stuff. Now I am learning how to be me and be happy!
Thanks again!
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Old 04-11-2014, 03:03 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Radiant View Post
I didn't want to highjack horriblethisis post on intimacy but I learned that impotency is another effect caused by alcohol.

I don't understand. How is it possible he watches porn, looks at other woman and almost breaks his neck if one walks by. Have a wife whom he doesn't spend any time with and not perform? All those times he would blame me.

I did all that fussin to now learn this is common!!!!
So this had nothing to do with me?????? I am loveable?????
Porn, like all addictions, still tickles the pleasure center of the brain. It's all about the dopamine.

It's not you, never was.
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Old 04-11-2014, 08:42 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Wow - I feel like I just learned about electricity.
I need to learn more about alcohol and the effects. I thought men just were selfish and lost everything. I have never heard about impotence.
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