one drink doesn't matter - or does it?
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A planned relapse? I always felt that way too, but now I wonder. Is that just our non-addict brain trying to make sense of their bizarre choices. I have a friend in Alanon who is fond of often yelping out at the table in a rather flustered voice "They don't think like us!!!!!"
I read something interesting a while back addressing the issue of relapses. It said the addict, having to retrain his brain to make healthy choices when stressful situations arise, would be akin to a non-addict trying to retrain their brain to press the brake pedal when seeing a green light, or the gas pedal when seeing a red. In other word, they simply don't think about it. It just happens. The author talked about how it is universal that, when asked "Why did you slip?" or "What happened that led to your slip" addicts almost always answer that they can't remember. He feels they're not lying. It would be like you or I trying to remember the entire sequence that happens from brain to muscle as our foot moves from the gas to the brake. I don't know why, but that helped me to let go of some of my anger regarding relapses.
What I still have issues with, however, are some of the other things you touch upon. Like why on God's green earth they don't want to deal with all of that "bottled up" stuff. I guess I'm getting better at understanding addiction, but I have a long way to go when it comes to understanding some of the other mental illnesses that go along with it.
Tomorrow is Monday. This was an exhausting weekend for you. I sure hope your week goes well.
I read something interesting a while back addressing the issue of relapses. It said the addict, having to retrain his brain to make healthy choices when stressful situations arise, would be akin to a non-addict trying to retrain their brain to press the brake pedal when seeing a green light, or the gas pedal when seeing a red. In other word, they simply don't think about it. It just happens. The author talked about how it is universal that, when asked "Why did you slip?" or "What happened that led to your slip" addicts almost always answer that they can't remember. He feels they're not lying. It would be like you or I trying to remember the entire sequence that happens from brain to muscle as our foot moves from the gas to the brake. I don't know why, but that helped me to let go of some of my anger regarding relapses.
What I still have issues with, however, are some of the other things you touch upon. Like why on God's green earth they don't want to deal with all of that "bottled up" stuff. I guess I'm getting better at understanding addiction, but I have a long way to go when it comes to understanding some of the other mental illnesses that go along with it.
Tomorrow is Monday. This was an exhausting weekend for you. I sure hope your week goes well.
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Originally Posted by SeriousKarma 
A planned relapse? I always felt that way too, but now I wonder. Is that just our non-addict brain trying to make sense of their bizarre choices. I have a friend in Alanon who is fond of often yelping out at the table in a rather flustered voice "They don't think like us!!!!!"
I read something interesting a while back addressing the issue of relapses. It said the addict, having to retrain his brain to make healthy choices when stressful situations arise, would be akin to a non-addict trying to retrain their brain to press the brake pedal when seeing a green light, or the gas pedal when seeing a red. In other word, they simply don't think about it. It just happens. The author talked about how it is universal that, when asked "Why did you slip?" or "What happened that led to your slip" addicts almost always answer that they can't remember. He feels they're not lying. It would be like you or I trying to remember the entire sequence that happens from brain to muscle as our foot moves from the gas to the brake. I don't know why, but that helped me to let go of some of my anger regarding relapses.
What I still have issues with, however, are some of the other things you touch upon. Like why on God's green earth they don't want to deal with all of that "bottled up" stuff. I guess I'm getting better at understanding addiction, but I have a long way to go when it comes to understanding some of the other mental illnesses that go along with it.
Tomorrow is Monday. This was an exhausting weekend for you. I sure hope your week goes well.
I read something interesting a while back addressing the issue of relapses. It said the addict, having to retrain his brain to make healthy choices when stressful situations arise, would be akin to a non-addict trying to retrain their brain to press the brake pedal when seeing a green light, or the gas pedal when seeing a red. In other word, they simply don't think about it. It just happens. The author talked about how it is universal that, when asked "Why did you slip?" or "What happened that led to your slip" addicts almost always answer that they can't remember. He feels they're not lying. It would be like you or I trying to remember the entire sequence that happens from brain to muscle as our foot moves from the gas to the brake. I don't know why, but that helped me to let go of some of my anger regarding relapses.
What I still have issues with, however, are some of the other things you touch upon. Like why on God's green earth they don't want to deal with all of that "bottled up" stuff. I guess I'm getting better at understanding addiction, but I have a long way to go when it comes to understanding some of the other mental illnesses that go along with it.
Tomorrow is Monday. This was an exhausting weekend for you. I sure hope your week goes well.
Do you remember where you read that on relapse? It makes sense. I was seeing it as a planned relapse as things finally were easing up at work. Yet from what you wrote and things I learned at rehab, things in the alcoholic brain aren't so simple. Things were probably coming to a head that he didn't know any other way to try to feel normal. He may 'know' other tools, but there is nothing as familiar to his brain as having alcohol to help him through.
It doesn't excuse it in any way, but it does help when normies look at it and figure "why?? he was doing so well..." I knew he wasn't doing well and have been trying to give him space. I don't know anything else to do for him, so here I am working on me. That probably seems like abandonment to him, but that's his problem, not mine. It's okay for us both to stumble along here. There is no set roadmap for this. Generalities, things we can both learn about from others, but no roadmap that shows the clear way through other than working the 12 steps and letting our own paths evolve.
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Here's the article:
The Karma of Behaving Badly - Alcohol & Substance Abuse, Addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Cult & Depression
You're right. These aren't excuses. Recovery is hard, but it is possible, and it's up to them to keep the train on the tracks. Articles like this somehow help me come closer to achieving that fabled "Loving Detachment". Not sure why or how, but I think it's all tied up in the with forgiveness.
The Karma of Behaving Badly - Alcohol & Substance Abuse, Addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Cult & Depression
You're right. These aren't excuses. Recovery is hard, but it is possible, and it's up to them to keep the train on the tracks. Articles like this somehow help me come closer to achieving that fabled "Loving Detachment". Not sure why or how, but I think it's all tied up in the with forgiveness.
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