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He's embarrassed

Old 01-16-2014, 07:06 PM
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He's embarrassed

Just a quick vent..

The boys have practice tonight and AH is the head coach. I don't allow him to drive my boys anywhere at anytime anymore, drink or no drink. Practice isn't until 7:30 and he tells me he's going to head to the gym at 6:45; this is only a 5 minute drive. I ask why he is leaving so early and he responds, "Im embarrassed that I show up without the boys so Im going early to visit with some folks before everyone else arrives."

I know I should, maybe, be glad that he feels some embarrassment?? But, I have no sympathy. He said this and I had to turn my head for MY embarrassment and shame! Embarrassed as a mother that my own children cannot be trusted to ride in the same vehicle as their FATHER! Embarrassment... REALLY?? His a** has been officially bared alright... try 12+ years of embarrassed!
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Old 01-16-2014, 07:09 PM
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Yes, but see...it's YOUR fault he's embarrassed. It certainly couldn't be him accepting the consequences of his prior actions, so, instead of just dealing with it, he has to find a way to conceal the issue from anyone on the outside.

We're as sick as our secrets.
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Old 01-16-2014, 07:13 PM
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Good for you, Katchie. Way to stay firm with your 'no driving' decision and do what's right for your kids. I'm also glad to hear that you don't care that he's embarrassed. His drinking...his choice...his consequences. Oh darn.
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Old 01-16-2014, 08:18 PM
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Good job!!!! You have made such huge progress!!!
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Old 01-16-2014, 09:59 PM
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Good for you for standing your ground!
Trying to sucker you into feeling sorry for him is
typical alcoholic behavior...
I'm so glad you're not falling for it any longer....
That one took me a long time to sink in, too....
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Old 01-17-2014, 09:25 AM
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I can so relate. I don't let my kids ride with ADH either. I found he was drinking with them in the car and I can smell it on his breath before their games, practices. Even at 9am games. Its really sad and yes it is embarrassing for me too. As I sit in the stands and watch ADH talk to everyone around us, I become self-conscious and wonder if they can smell it on his breath too. I know his problem not mine but it's also embarrassing for the kids.
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Old 01-17-2014, 12:07 PM
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"Im embarrassed that I show up without the boys so Im going early to visit with some folks before everyone else arrives."

This is one of those statements where a simple well-practiced "Hunh." or "Oh." in response is so satisfying.

Batting practice for detachment!
Keep up the good work.
Peace,
B
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