Courage To Change 01/14/2014
Behold the power of NO
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Courage To Change 01/14/2014
I learned in Al-Anon that I'm bound to fail to make someone else stop drinking because I am powerless over alcoholism. Others in the fellowship had failed as well yet they seemed almost happy to admit it. In time I understood: By letting go of this battle we were sure to lose, we became free.
Gradually I learned that nothing i did or did not do would convince my loved one to get sober. I understood intellectually, but it took time before I believed it in my heart. Frequent Al-Anon meetings, phone calls, and reading of Al-Anon literature were indispensable to this learning process.
Later, when my loved one chose sobriety, I found new ways to apply this principle of powerlessness. Although I was tempted to check up on the number of meetings attended and to protect the alcoholic from anything upsetting, I had accepted that nothing I could do would make or break another person's sobriety. After a while, I saw that my fears had little to do with the alcoholic. Instead, they indicated that I needed to work my program.
When I am able to admit that I am powerless over alcohol, my life becomes more manageable. Today I will take the path to personal freedom and serenity that begins when I surrender.
Gradually I learned that nothing i did or did not do would convince my loved one to get sober. I understood intellectually, but it took time before I believed it in my heart. Frequent Al-Anon meetings, phone calls, and reading of Al-Anon literature were indispensable to this learning process.
Later, when my loved one chose sobriety, I found new ways to apply this principle of powerlessness. Although I was tempted to check up on the number of meetings attended and to protect the alcoholic from anything upsetting, I had accepted that nothing I could do would make or break another person's sobriety. After a while, I saw that my fears had little to do with the alcoholic. Instead, they indicated that I needed to work my program.
Today's Reminder
When I am able to admit that I am powerless over alcohol, my life becomes more manageable. Today I will take the path to personal freedom and serenity that begins when I surrender.
"Our spiritual growth is unlimited and our reward endless if we try to bring this program into every phase of our daily lives.
~The Twelve Steps and Traditions
~The Twelve Steps and Traditions
Behold the power of NO
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
This is really a good reading about the first step. For me, taking that first step in Al Anon lifted a ton off my shoulders. While I had not problem admitting powerlessness over my own alcoholism, I still thought that I could control and cure someone else's and fix him.
When it dawned on me that step one applied to my partner as well as me, I was able on my way toward detachment healing.
We cannot control it or cure it.
This one also really jumps out. I have heard family members and even friends before blaming themselves, a fight they had with the A, financial stress or the Easter bunny for their loved one relapsed.
There are quite a few double winners in Al Anon who can attest that we remained sober while our partner was keeping booze at home and getting drunk right under our nose.
Nothing made us pick up, not even the stress and pain of seeing our partner wreck havoc or having open bottles and glasses of alcohol around.
If you are new, remember: you did NOT cause it. No one can make a sober alcoholic who wants to stay sober pick up unless they have a gun or physically force it down the RA's throat (which is not likely to happen).
When it dawned on me that step one applied to my partner as well as me, I was able on my way toward detachment healing.
We cannot control it or cure it.
I had accepted that nothing I could do would make or break another person's sobriety.
There are quite a few double winners in Al Anon who can attest that we remained sober while our partner was keeping booze at home and getting drunk right under our nose.
Nothing made us pick up, not even the stress and pain of seeing our partner wreck havoc or having open bottles and glasses of alcohol around.
If you are new, remember: you did NOT cause it. No one can make a sober alcoholic who wants to stay sober pick up unless they have a gun or physically force it down the RA's throat (which is not likely to happen).
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