Hammer

Oh, all good.

It is mostly just funny to me.

I forget to put smiley faces on some of my stuff, so folks now I am just joking.

About time I got to be a disgruntled minority.

FireSprite

Pippi, I wish I could offer more than prayers, but it's all I've got.

Your situation is so unique, I have NO clue how I would handle half of it. I know this trip will be filled with stress, but I am wishing you at least moments of peace & calm to help you keep a clear head during this challenge.

Hammer

XAH is picking up all the bill(s) for this, right?

Make sure the return trip(s) back out cannot be cancelled on you while you are back in the US.

Upsetnneedhelp

Hammer, and the rest of the sober dads, I apologize. I hope my posting made some sense though.

Hammer

For my part it is just fun.

About the real part -- I would be Very Careful about advising anyone regarding legal process. i.e., ignoring or short-stepping a Court Order. While you or may do things like that, we would be the ones to suffer the results. In the case of others doing that -- they and the children may suffer the results.

Upsetnneedhelp

But the US Embassy is advising against the kids trip. I thought they are the highest court in the land? I would get there recommendation in writing. Although, God is the final Judge in the end. To the OP, I am glad your teenage son refuses to go with his dad. He sees the insanity of it all.

MissFixit

supreme court is the highest court in the land

Upsetnneedhelp

And sadly, it looks like this is were this overwelming case is going to end up in.

dandylion

PippiLngstockng

Thanks everyone. Your thoughtful replies helped pull me through the day and I am feeling reconnected with our dear planet Earth and the lovely people sharing it. Sometimes I start to feel like I am disappearing.

So I called my very charming local police chief, who is becoming a regular and not unwanted fixture in my family drama. I told him everything the embassy advised plus the judge rulings. He, lovely man - wish he weren't married - is calling the probate judge to see whether the court will register the European judge's ruling that the children be returned to me at the airport after a nine day visit with their father...i should hear back tonight.

This is really good. If I learn that the judge and police there won't feel empowered to protect the children from abduction, then I at least can determine what to do next.

If we don't go, I fear risking my custody of the children. If I do go, I fear losing my children and our home here.

And then I have to wonder, is xah plotting? Or is he out getting wasted somewhere and is not even thinking beyond today? And no use even trying to figure him out, is there?

hopeful4

Pippi...I think you are very strong and I admire that you are going out and getting advise and seeing what indeed is the best situation. I agree, you have to protect your children and custody at the same time. I am sure the people you are in contact with will be the best advised to tell you how to do so. It is lucky they don't just deem it a civil matter and move on, that is what the police do so many times over here.

Huge hugs and may you and your children have peace very soon.

PippiLngstockng

That was my shining police chief knight. Basically, the divorce attorneys are out of their league, the police chief is a good guy and he will help if he can, and xah is going to do what he is going to do regardless of court orders.

Me, I feel compelled to go for my DD13 and because of the court order to go. I do not want to lose custody of the children. Period. And if he takes any of the children then there are going to be kidnapping charges and such.

I follow the court orders because if I don't I could lose everything. I have no faith in lawyers or judges. That is particularly why I follow orders. Because they let xah break every order without consequences. But me, they'd take my children away and let me die on the streets.

I do have some faith in the free advice given by the international organizations. They aren't making money from me. They just want to help. Those folks, I understand.

I just pray that all this is going to settle down. I thought it would a loooonnngg time ago!!!

BoxinRotz

Pippi,

If he fails to return the children, You have his ass arrested and charged with kidnapping! You have full custody as their primary parent. The Police Officer already knows you're coming to do a drop off visit. If he screws this up, NAIL HIM!

Relax and breeeeeathe. One day at a time.

lillamy

You are a wise woman.
I was just reading one of Hammer's posts about how alcoholics are like poop-throwing monkeys and it's wise to figure out their throwing range and stay outside it?

Another thing that's wise is to not throw poop back at them. To borrow his metaphor.

You are doing what is legally right. You are keeping the moral high ground. You are not resorting to poo-flinging like your ex. Those are all good things in the eyes of a court -- American or most European countries.

Now, if your ex was taking them to Ireland or another similar country with medieval views on women's rights and divorce and such, I might look at it differently. But I think you are very, very wise here. An American court does NOT look lightly at a parent who tries to kidnap their kids -- OR a parent who tries to keep her kids from the other parent either.

Do what's right and pray. That's all we can do.

Rosiepetal

Gosh that is so unfair.
No wonder you don't feel good.
The court system sucks.
Why is it that the strong ones have to give up stuff to please the ones in the wrong.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
Don't have advice but am sending a big hug.

Hammer

[Hammer whispers -- psssst. Hate to be a scene stealer, but that is the whole point. Take a look at Step 1. Things HAVE to unmanageable by us. That is the Pixie Dust. This is great. Praise God.]

That's the understatement of the week.

Pippi is running the Cirque du Soleil. All she is lacking is dancing elephants on the trapeze.

You have read some of the stories of her namesake . . . the real (not so real) Pippi Longstocking?

But in the end . . . SHE will not be able to carry this off.

That is the God part. That is what it always takes when we choose this path.

Let's hit this part again . . .

That is all this really takes. But it will take nothing less.

FireSprite

Totally agree Hammer, lol.

The "real" Pippi happens to be redheaded-DD's HERO since age 3...(but it has to be the REAL Pippi, not this updated, new, trendy looking a la Punky Brewster-y cartoonish Pippi of late... must be the OLD ORIGINAL movie/character)....she fully reconstructed Pip's house in her bedroom with her bunk beds when she was 5. Campaigned for a pet monkey for Christmas that year. She "became" Pippi for Halloween one year, totally play-acting it up, with hair braided around wire to make it stick out permanently at the sides, hilarious. We had to explain to 90% of the people we met who she was because she wasn't an easily recognizable princess or a fairy, and she insisted on staying in character which only confused them more.

JustAGirl1971

I'll add up my prayers, too. That's all I have to offer, but as Hammer said, that's really all (everything) you need. I hope the police chief friend is able to get the European order entered for you.

Stung

Lots and lots of prayers and hugs for you and your kids. Do take some comfort in knowing you're an awesome mom and your kids are aware of that fact. And as they get older, they're going to have more and more respect and admiration for you and what you're doing for them now. Keep doing your best, that's all you can do.

PippiLngstockng

Thank you for your prayers, all.

This situation isn't unique, probably. This is international divorce. And with an international situation comes this judicial void where the two countries can sc**w up a situation because divorce court isn't full of lovely, thoughtful people making wise decisions while making sure children are protected.

It is because the divorce straddles two legal systems that stupid things happen. Like the American judge ordered Xah maintain his health insurance, but the insurance only covers us if we live in the US. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

And the European judge orders us to the US, but once there we are no longer under his orders, so anything can happen, like abduction.

And my stupid lawyers didn't know or think of any of this or bother to warn me so it could be addressed properly in court.

I didn't learn about these possibilities until far after my court dates. And I learned from non profit workers, not hired expensive lawyers.

And add to this an A who doesn't care or is even pleased that we weren't covered by his insurance so sat their in court in my absence and said nothing.

And is he thinking of retaining the children? I have no idea.

Pippi picked up bad guys over her head and cheerfully threw them in the air. She had magical powers and a chest full of gold.

Me, I have the love of my children, and my nice orange cat licking his paws at the foot of my bed. I can't throw the stupid legal people in the air or buy the neighborhood kids all the toys in the shop. But I can smile at the meannies and sleep backward in my bed if I want to.