Christmas Cheer and Fear
 

Hi SR,

My children were court-ordered to return to the US to celebrate Christmas and stay with their father there. So the judge thought four children could fly on their own, but I am not leaving them to fly over that ocean without me!

We leave Thursday and will stay with my mother and see my side of the family. I don't want to stay with them at all, as my FOO has a lot of problems and I don't really relate to them well. Also I have lost some of them over the years to illnesses - the ones I did relate to in fact - it is not easy regardless of the rest.

Being court-ordered to leave my home and forced to celebrate Christmas elsewhere has put me in a difficult state. I am still responsible for creating Christmas but I think this is all bringing me to different lows and I am fighting to keep from emotionally drowning. I am not doing great. I think a lot about how alcoholics drink and how falling into a bit of oblivion would really be a nice respite for now.

Then the day after Christmas the children's father will pick them up and drive them six hours to his (my former) family house where my personal belongings are still trapped and xah refuses to give them back (my clothes, music, files, books, photos from college, etc). The children stay ten days surrounded by people who believe xah's lies that I left him because I wanted s life of leisure in Europe, I made up the violence, I exaggerated the drinking, I put him in the poorhouse by spending all his money, etc).

My lawyer quit whenthe appraiser wrote that xah destroyed our house so it doesn't have much value left.

I called the US Embassy in the meantime and they warned me that I should not follow the judge's orders because Xah could abduct the children while they are in the US. They said don't go, it is far too risky. But two of my children really want to go so I am going to have to find a place to stay near my family home to watch over the children and make sure he returns them to the airport.

In all of this I have to buy gifts, decorate trees and I just don't feel too great.

Thanks for listening. I haven't had the time to go to Al Anon or be with friends. I have been too busy trying to get a job, pay the bills, keep upwith the housework, make sure the children do their homework and pack for this unwanted trip.

I imagine I will feel good again when it is all over.

Thanks for hearing me, SR.

I am sorry, Pippi. Praying for safety for your kids and for peace for you.

Hugs, pippi. Sending you strength & good juju. You and your wonderful children will be in my prayers.

Thank you.

I think the most painful may be knowing that xah is savoring my pain.

Hi Pippi;
Don't let the bas*^&% have the satisfaction of seeing / knowing anything if you can.

All will be well in the end. You are building a new life for yourself and your kids.
He might slow things down, but he cannot stop it.
My thoughts are with you.

Sorry to hear what you are going through and I do feel for your children. They are totally innocent in all this.
I honestly don't know what to say but am sending you very best wishes.

I wouldn't go, seriously, say you were advised by the US Embassy and fear he will hide the kids. What is he going to do? It will cost him time and $$ to pursue you,.
why put them through this stress, and yourself.
Hope you get some peace.

Thank you for all of your kindnesses.

Yes, if I knew everything was going to be okay, then I would be okay. I don't know if I am catastrophizing sometimes, but I have so many fears! Of losing my home here and losing my children.

My children are totally innocent and this situation is hard. Xah skyped them yesterday and played the (my) piano to them, singing all of our family songs. Total schmaltz but he has a beautiful voice and it tore me up. We had the most beautiful family life if you didn't know about the secret drinking and fighting that ensued.

They are going to be in that house of mine with all the toys and pretty things I found for the house, playing that piano as though nothing is wrong. And if that doesn't make for craziness, I don't know what will.

My littlest told me that she asked her father what happened that last day he came after me and I went to the police, and he said, 'what day?' And kept jabbering as though nothing ever happened at all.

I just have to put one foot ahead of the other, don't I?

I thank you all again. I need to remember that God is still here. I went out this morning and was greeted by so many kind faces I saw God in each one. That is also where God is. Between us all.

so sorry Pippi :(
you are one of the strong ones..I have no doubt you will make it through this!

Yep.

After all the Lawyers, Judges, Support, Courts, Drunks, Countries and Borders apart . . . and on and on and on . . . I think you are finally Right Where You Need to Be.

As the Alananny Angels tell me -- EVERYTHING is right where it should be right now.

You probably know this, too . . . ALL things (not 99.5% -- but rather ALL things) work together for Good for those who love God.

I take that a contract type promise. Maybe you should, too. So you work on the Love God part and let God handle turning this for Good.

==============

Dear God,

Please guide our friend Pippi on Your Path, Your Will and Your Way. And please give her the wisdom, strength and courage to follow it.

Amen.

Going against the US Embassy advise is unwise. They know the laws inside and out. They advice US travelers what countries to avoid. Yet you are going to continue your trip with your kids??!! Your husband has the money and high priced lawyers. You can no longer afford a lawyer. Why take a chance with the kids???

Yes, it is awful. They also told me that the judge here will pursue contempt of court if I don't go, plus xah would argue to charge me for the international RT tix plus the children will still be ordered to go this summer and thereafter...

And then DD13 NEEDS to go. She hates me sometimes because she is here and wants to reexperience there. Until that happens she doesn't know what to think. She badly needs to sort out what there is like and if it was so great in our house in America as she remembers, or is she glad to be living here after all. Until she goes back she won't know.

So ultimately I have to trust that more truth will be revealed and she will find the truth and the peace she needs so that she can stop being mad at me for living here.

And she promises that no matter what happens, she will let me know if grandpa starts driving the children to Oklahoma or Dad tries to hold the little ones hostage. The oldest refuses to go be with his Dad so he stays with me.

I am advised to contact the local police there to give them a heads up so that is what is next.

And yes, I am afraid but I do believe God means for us to go.

I agree. If the US Embassy has said not to go I too would not go. I understand you are still bitter, who would not be. However I would carry on with your own life in your own country. What is he going to do about it? If you can get the Embassy's advise in writing (via email, etc) or record them telling you that it would be even better.

I understand your children would like to go. However, that is not necessarily what is best for them at this point.

Hugs and support to you Pippi. Find time to go to a meeting and keep getting support for YOU.

Pippi--I have trust that you are doing the best thing in the situation that is forced upon you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have shown good judgement, tenacity and upmost concern for you children this far--and, I am sure, will always continue to do so.

Carry on.

dandylion

Well then fly by faith, not by sight.

God Airlines is my recommended carrier.

Here is a picture of the (Mad Max) Autogyro that the kids and I have been riding on our trip to Happy Land. While it is the lower class end of God Airlines, I would recommend you get better tickets. But we fly on what my limited faith can afford. And yes, that would Mrs. Hammer in the foreground, doing the role of the Humongous ready to shoot us down.


http://www.rotaryaction.com/images/madmax2.jpg


I like this guy.


http://www.portlandmercury.com/image...19001-gyro.jpg

I do not understand why so many people on this board believe in the court process. And are afraid of the court system. The safety of children comes down to the mother. That is more important than anything. A mother knows best. I watch people here get discouraged by the process yet continue battling the system. The highest paid lawyers are usually the ones who win in the end. The cost of this divorce/custody is the most expensive I have ever read. I mean the US Embassy even has an opinion. My heart goes out to you but at the same time I would stop following every single detail in the court order.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Prayers will be coming your way. Tough situation.

Fixed that up a little for you . . . .

Can we agree to change your statement to:
"The safety of children comes down to the non-alcoholic parent. That is more than anything. The non-alcoholic parent knows best"

I mean no offense...but your original statement might ruffle the feathers of some of us fathers that have AW's. Gender-neutral means everyone's feathers stay happy. =)

Aww, leave it to Hammer to beat me to the punch. Well done sir!