choublak

What's a chip window?

forworse

Thanks for the suggestions...I think. So it seems like I've got her Christmas all taken care of. I paid and continue to pay for therapy, got her the big book and the boots made for walking. Guess I was getting her presents all along. . Some of you are way too funny to have been dragged through the mud. Others of you deserve every bit. JUST KIDDING!! Do something nice for a stranger today. Its pretty cool!

forworse

For doritos! Jk. Its a place for aa members to keep their sobriety chips. They get a poker chip for length of sobriety and are deservedly proud of how long they have been sober. The chip shows it off. Mrs. Worse has collected a bunch of white chips. Maybe she should give them back to be reused.

forworse

Good question! Didn't stop caring, just made a logical decision to withdraw from chaos!

choublak

Are the two of you on the same page here?

forworse

I don't think so. I think she is still hopeful. I too was hopeful I would get my wife back-repeatedly. A good friend said 'you know this is the right decision and don't be hurt when she finally does straighten her life out after you leave her' I am fully prepared for that and hope she does find peace and purpose but I know after all that has happened that leaving her is the best decision for me. She knows my intentions but I don't think she has accepted it yet.

peacesoul

I can relate, I think my AH is still hopeful too. Don't see a future where I'll have NC since we have a daughter. After posting and reading today, I realize I am very much still struggling with detachment. Since we still live in the same house until divorce is final, lots of things are like they always have been. And I've bought birthday and will buy Christmas gifts as from our young daughter.
I would love to see him sober someday, but you're right, smart to be prepared for the emotions associated with seeing him/her live a good life separate for me/you.

forworse

Thanks peace. Thankfully we have no children and the marriage is only a year and a half. Mind you we are together 5. My friends have watched me go down the last 3. They dropped subtle hints along the way and a couple came right out and said 'you sure this is what you want?' I was convinced her actions were temporary but she was still in there. No longer letting that consume my time. I am happier today than I can remember. I see how I'm happier interacting with the world and it makes me more happy. Though the divorce isn't final and I find myself slipping once in a while on my promise to myself, I feel free! Maybe I'll get her/them something and maybe not. It won't affect my day at all today. Hugs

forworse

Smh. Stbxaw mom felt betrayed BC I changed Facebook status to complicated. Said she felt like the world knew before her. Yah I'm not entitled to have feelings through this. It took a lot of thinking and support to be able to voice my feelings and now a Facebook relationship status leads to her feeling like I betrayed her? How about if we were honest with our friends that wouldn't be an issue. Or, thought what I said over the last few months would have lead to this conclusion. Or, just told the wife we are done. Meh. I didn't say anything negative, only that our relationship is complicated. The truth sets me free.

forworse

Vent over.

Lulu39

In my case I am tied to my XAH forever because we have children. I bought good quality, but cheap, **** for him from the children. He gives our children nothing but it doesn't mean that I have to behave the same way.

I try to treat other people, including him, the way I wish to be treated. It is rarely reciprocated, but I think doing the right thing by others and trying to be kind (even if they are a pain in the arse narcissistic, drunken drug addict) is proper.

He'd probably appreciate a bag of hydro pot and a case of beer and a couple of boxes o' wine more than the practical stuff I bought for the kids to give him, but tough sh*t for him.