Looking for input or advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: acceptance
Posts: 126
Looking for input or advice
AH is agreeing to end our marriage. He now says he will be "fair" with me but I would be foolish to trust that he will keep any promise he makes. I am hoping he has been honest to save attorney fees, I have 3 consults end of next week but trying to figure this out by what's in front of me. I live in a community property law state.
After the most recent relapse his 401k and retirement documents, conveniently went missing. Yesterday he gave me copies that show the balance but I have reason to believe he took a withdrawal likely in the last few weeks before he printed the ones he gave me yesterday.
He became fully vested in his pension last year at 25 years with the company. If he retired today, his monthly benefit would be about $ 2500 per month. The amount goes up substantially after 62 and 65. We have been married 50% of the time he has worked at this job.
We both work, he makes about 25% more than me. He has excellent medical,I can get it but I would have to pay $100 per month for a 5,000 annual deductible. I have medical issues that are costly and may need to go to part time which would make me ineligable for medical anyway.
The 401k, home equity, vehicles, household stuff and debt distributions are pretty clear and the only problem is if he is hiding a withdrawal which is easily figured out.
What I don't know is how they decide on the pension. Someone told me that it is usually "valued" and I would likely receive a higher amount in the 401k being transferred to me to offset the pension.
I was also told I might be compensated for the medical since I have established serious medical problems since one year after we were married.
He told me to go ahead and talk to an attorney and if the offer is fair he will accept. I think if I will be compensated for the pension and medical he will freak out and this will turn in to a battle.
Does anyone know how this works or have advice for when I meet with an attorney?
After the most recent relapse his 401k and retirement documents, conveniently went missing. Yesterday he gave me copies that show the balance but I have reason to believe he took a withdrawal likely in the last few weeks before he printed the ones he gave me yesterday.
He became fully vested in his pension last year at 25 years with the company. If he retired today, his monthly benefit would be about $ 2500 per month. The amount goes up substantially after 62 and 65. We have been married 50% of the time he has worked at this job.
We both work, he makes about 25% more than me. He has excellent medical,I can get it but I would have to pay $100 per month for a 5,000 annual deductible. I have medical issues that are costly and may need to go to part time which would make me ineligable for medical anyway.
The 401k, home equity, vehicles, household stuff and debt distributions are pretty clear and the only problem is if he is hiding a withdrawal which is easily figured out.
What I don't know is how they decide on the pension. Someone told me that it is usually "valued" and I would likely receive a higher amount in the 401k being transferred to me to offset the pension.
I was also told I might be compensated for the medical since I have established serious medical problems since one year after we were married.
He told me to go ahead and talk to an attorney and if the offer is fair he will accept. I think if I will be compensated for the pension and medical he will freak out and this will turn in to a battle.
Does anyone know how this works or have advice for when I meet with an attorney?
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello Charmed,
I'm glad you have more than one consultation appointment. It sounds as though you are organized and prepared. Maybe write down all your questions before the meetings so that you make sure you ask everything you would like answered.
Weekends around here are kind of slow, but others will be along to share their own experiences!
Good luck!!
I'm glad you have more than one consultation appointment. It sounds as though you are organized and prepared. Maybe write down all your questions before the meetings so that you make sure you ask everything you would like answered.
Weekends around here are kind of slow, but others will be along to share their own experiences!
Good luck!!
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