forworse

So after another typical drunk day by my aw, I decided today was my turn to have fun. I got away to a quiet safe place and did things I can't at home without interference, worked out hard in the morning and went target shooting in the afternoon followed by the mall, my favorite sandwich and 2 Al anon meetings. Just got home and went to put the other half of my sandwich away and noticed two bagels in a separate plastic bag. Last night in her typical diatribe she screamed she was going to eat all the bagels knowing I like those particular bagels. I just said OK and dismissed it. She was trying to get a reaction but didn't so she must have put them away after I didn't get mad that she was so selfish as to try to take something away that I liked for the sake of just being mean. Thanks Al anon. She's resting peacefully or passed out now. Either way, we didn't have another meaningless fight over something silly.

BadCompany

Good job. Every fight we alcoholics have with you alanons is a distraction from the fight we are losing to alcohol.

Ephytrinks

I'm new. To this but can relate.. I broke up with my ex and we were always fighting about meaningless crap. Usually started when she was drunk and carried on the next day.

Risgard

Thanks for this tidbit - it is something I will remember!

"Every fight we alcoholics have with you alanons is a distraction from the fight we are losing to alcohol."

forworse

she tried again with the other half of my favorite sandwich. was in the fridge this morning and exclaimed 'well, i'm going to eat this sandwich.' i said ok nicely and went about my business. little did she know i put it there for her! haha. not only did i get to do something nice but i didn't let her get to me. i slipped later though this morning in response to her usual ridiculous statements after being called a joke, sick, etc right after she said she loved me. i told her i could not have an active alcoholic in the house for much longer. i said that one in recovery could be up for discussion. i did not however say she needed to stop drinking, only that i would not go on indefinitely tolerating this behavior. oh yah, she hates al anon! said i was a hypocrite for going because i had a drink. i was even not drinking at all after her treatment and she still went back to the bottle within a week. nothing is any different no matter what i do or say. the only blame i will accept is making it too easy for her to get so far gone by accepting taking care of everything while she drank. she says i took everything away from her but what i did was not continue to pay for her to sit around drinking. either she will figure it out or she won't but i will no longer feel like i am enabling her by making life easy(paying bills, etc) so crazy that the alkie expects to sit around drinking while the codie takes care of everything and gets mad when you don't do it!

Flicka57

forworse:
you are setting some great boundaries--you are learning the practical tips of attending Al Anon. You are doing a good job of taking care of YOU. Keep going. . .my thoughts are with you.

forworse

thank you i am going at least 4 times a week. not sure if its because its peaceful there and home is chaos or if i just really like what i am learning and the people around me. regardless, it was the best decision i ever made to start going. to anyone here that is considering it, give it a shot. the worst that can happen is you keep your misery