helples

Hi All! Happy Labor Day! We were on the road for the last 10 days, A bf got a call that dad was having emergency open heart surgery last weekend so we jumped in the car to Arizona, just got back yesterday. Staying in his dads house for several days with his older bro & sis and visiting the hospital 2 and 3 times a day was exhausting and nerve shattering to say the least. His drinking was very light and on the down low with his siblings around but still, he managed to fit it in. Now that we are home it's back and worse. Got call in the middle of the night last night let us know that his dad has taken a turn for the worse, so only time will tell what the next day or two will bring, for dad, for bf and for myself I suppose.
I want to thank you all again for your replies. Especially the last ten or so posts that I just got to read, I agree and it makes me so sad. This is gonna hurt like hell. Thanks for the tough love.

Recovering2

Setting boundaries and leaving may hurt like hell.....but I can promise you settling for a life with a mean alcoholic is waaaay more painful. Have you heard the 3 C's? You didn't Cause it, can't Cure it, and can't Control it. YOU have no power over his disease and his choices. But you DO have power over what you do with your own life. I look at you and think how lucky you are that it's only been one year with this guy. You haven't wasted years and years on someone who is only going to get worse as his disease progresses.

BTW - I cried for a good month in AlAnon meetings....everyone understands.

nettles

Reading your story, I honestly believe that your bf lied to you about being sober for nine years. I strongly urge you to walk away from this relationship. You don't want to go there, trust me.