brightstar43

I have been no contact for 2 weeks now and although I miss him I can see its the best decision; but I really hate the low mood I have today. I went out yesterday with a friend and had a good day but my mood is so low today. I think it may be due to the wine I drank yesterday, has anyone found that alcohol has had this effect on them when they are going through a difficult break up? I'm struggling to motivate myself today and feel like just sitting around. I'm meeting a friend for tea later o hope this might brighten my mood a little. Will definitely be keeping my wine intake to a minimum in future if its going to affect me like this at this time in my life. I'm proud I've stayed no contact and relieved not to have the anxiety and stress that bing with him gave me. Its hard though to work through the break up. My mood is so unstable and I just long for balance and contentment wish I was 6 months down the line. Just felt that I had to talk about this today my friends are great but don't want to keep talking about the break up o them

Hammer

Maybe do some things to get outside yourself, or maybe go out “6 months down the line” in your mind and look back to now and see what you could do to get you to where you want to be.

I find that getting out of me is sometimes a Very Good Thing.

One of my favorite is Pick-up, Clean-up. Last night, I went over to the local park with my kids, and was picking up all the various “kid litter.” Juice boxes, bottle lids, parts of broken toys, even cigarette butts -- that sort of stuff.

I would go back and forth between playing with them, cleaning, and “racing” my 6 year old around the lake. He has a new push scooter and I can race him with a full-on run for me. Even went back to the house and got the big push broom and swept the sidewalk.

One of the local moms was cooing, “He is such a great dad.” I just laugh about that. I do what I do for me. But being a better me, I suppose makes me a better dad. So I will work with what I have.

I listen to some of my Alananny (senior Alanon women) Angels talk about how much they enjoy their yard work and gardening. I suppose it is like that.

Maybe find something that fits you? I would suggest it be something you do, (not so much read, think ,etc), serves others, and is at least a little physical. Good for the heart, soul and body, and give your brain a break.

That can let your mind get off thinking about some A. Not much benefit for anyone in that, anyway.

And yeah, give your friends a break from the drama, too.

MamaKit

Great ideas Hammer,
I particularly like that the focus of your activity at the park was others. Doing volunteer work or just making a kind gesture for someone else can really lift one's spirits.
Brightstar, do you have any where close by where you could volunteer for a little while? Any elderly neighbors to bake a banana bread for?
Even a small donation of groceries to a food pantry?
Sometimes I worry about putting too much drama on my friends and I try to give them a break from it. But you know what? We also need a break from our own drama and I think it helps when we take the focus off of ourselves for a little while and direct it towards doing something good for someone else.
Sending hugs,
MamaKit

DreamsofSerenity

Hi Brightstar,

Wine makes me feel absolutely terrible the next day. Anything more than 1 glass, and I sleep horribly, and feel very down emotionally and physically the next day.

Skydreamer73

Well Alcohol is a depressant, so it makes sense, I would actually avoid drinking for a bit, even if your just social with it adding it to an already emotional mix is seldom a good thing.

Hey since your already out of your comfort zone, why not try something totally new, take a dance class, go hiking, canoeing, heck go skydiving, take a train ride, something just totally different and soak a new good experience in for once, some days are surely better than others, bit low myself today, but tomorrow I am doing one of the things I just listed and it is going to be fun!....just a thought, and hope you feel better this evening love!

brightstar43

Did go out a walk with friend tonight with our dogs, my dog is 16 and has dementia so she tried to off a little wall and landed in a heap! I just keep weeping so that set me off again. Just trying to go with it and accept I'm having a bad day. Going to nia fitness class tomorrow and might be going away in my friends camper van. Don't know how I'll feel but I think I should go anyway might be just what I need. Both my kids are away on holiday just now and the house feels so empty. Thanks for all the support I'm getting. I know my ex will be sitting in his flat tonight, he has not been in contact but I know that he's actually doing me a favour with that. I'm not tempted to contact him either and am going to see this loneliness through. Jut keep saying this too shall pass but god it's so hard at times

dandylion

Yes, brightstar----this too, shall pass. It is natural to feel low at times, but a large part of the battle is your determination to "see it through".

Remember that is is short-term pain for long term gain!!!!

Keep us posted.

dandylion

brightstar43

Yes dandylion that's what I keep saying. I keep thinking of my preferred future and that is not to be sitting here at home alone waiting for a phone call when he's had enough of the pub and then wanting to see me. I'm sick of all that crap. I deserve to feel like someone's priority not 2nd place. I'm hoping that I'll feel better tomorrow but if not I'm going to seeing through. I've had good days this week so can have good days again. This whole thing sucks

wicked

Yes, this is a great thing to remember.
Especially when it sucks.
you know good days are possible.

Beth