Time to Get Angry
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Time to Get Angry
Thursday, July 18, 2013
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting G
Time to Get Angry
It's about time you got angry - yes, that angry.
Anger can be such a potent, frightening emotion. It can also be a feeling that guides us to important decisions, sometimes decisions difficult to make. It can signal other people's problems, our problems, or simply problems we need to address.
We deny our anger for a variety of reasons. We don't give ourselves permission to allow it to come into our awareness - at first. Understand that it does not go away; it sits in layers under the surface, waiting for us to become ready, safe, and strong enough to deal with it.
What we may do instead of facing our anger and what it is telling us about self-care, is feel hurt, victimized, trapped, guilty, and uncertain about how to take care of ourselves. We may withdraw, deny, make excuses, and hide our heads in the sand - for a while.
We may punish, get even, whine, and wonder.
We may repeatedly forgive the other person for behaviors that hurt us. We may be afraid that someone will go away if we deal with our anger toward him or her. We may be afraid we will need to go away, if we deal with our anger.
We may simply be afraid of our anger and the potency of it. We may not know we have a right, even a responsibility - to ourselves - to allow ourselves to feel and learn from our anger.
God, help my hidden or repressed angry feelings to surface. Help me have the courage to face them. Help me understand how I need to take care of myself with the people I feel anger toward. Help me stop telling myself something is wrong with me when people victimize me and I feel angry about the victimization. I can trust my feelings to signal problems that need my attention.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting G
Time to Get Angry
It's about time you got angry - yes, that angry.
Anger can be such a potent, frightening emotion. It can also be a feeling that guides us to important decisions, sometimes decisions difficult to make. It can signal other people's problems, our problems, or simply problems we need to address.
We deny our anger for a variety of reasons. We don't give ourselves permission to allow it to come into our awareness - at first. Understand that it does not go away; it sits in layers under the surface, waiting for us to become ready, safe, and strong enough to deal with it.
What we may do instead of facing our anger and what it is telling us about self-care, is feel hurt, victimized, trapped, guilty, and uncertain about how to take care of ourselves. We may withdraw, deny, make excuses, and hide our heads in the sand - for a while.
We may punish, get even, whine, and wonder.
We may repeatedly forgive the other person for behaviors that hurt us. We may be afraid that someone will go away if we deal with our anger toward him or her. We may be afraid we will need to go away, if we deal with our anger.
We may simply be afraid of our anger and the potency of it. We may not know we have a right, even a responsibility - to ourselves - to allow ourselves to feel and learn from our anger.
God, help my hidden or repressed angry feelings to surface. Help me have the courage to face them. Help me understand how I need to take care of myself with the people I feel anger toward. Help me stop telling myself something is wrong with me when people victimize me and I feel angry about the victimization. I can trust my feelings to signal problems that need my attention.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
This one hits me today - thank you!
I am officially and FINALLY pissed as hell - and i'm going to stay pissed as hell, because it makes me mother effing excited to get away from (suddenly) nutter XABF.
Yeah - all the gonzo nutso buttso crazy making verbally abusive stuff that is discussed in here - and that I've said over and over I don't have to deal with - well it finally reared its ugly head last night after 2.5 years. He is there - at that place with his addiction. It is more important than anything, and he will protect it as all costs, including his integrity, me and my feelings or needs, and more importantly above his health.
Sad, but but I am angry as hell about the evil ridiculous things he said to me, and that just makes it easier for me to leave him to it. Thank you Irish temper
GAWD - it feels amazing to put an X before ABF today! And to change his name in my phone to QUAAACK - DONT ANSWER! lol
I am officially and FINALLY pissed as hell - and i'm going to stay pissed as hell, because it makes me mother effing excited to get away from (suddenly) nutter XABF.
Yeah - all the gonzo nutso buttso crazy making verbally abusive stuff that is discussed in here - and that I've said over and over I don't have to deal with - well it finally reared its ugly head last night after 2.5 years. He is there - at that place with his addiction. It is more important than anything, and he will protect it as all costs, including his integrity, me and my feelings or needs, and more importantly above his health.
Sad, but but I am angry as hell about the evil ridiculous things he said to me, and that just makes it easier for me to leave him to it. Thank you Irish temper
GAWD - it feels amazing to put an X before ABF today! And to change his name in my phone to QUAAACK - DONT ANSWER! lol
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
I feel like I'm engulfed in anger right now. I just blew my top not even 20 minutes ago on what I've been through these last 2 weeks. I got a man who feels he's special because he cheated death, is allowed to drive because his Dr doesn't know he's invincible n he doesn't need a baby sitter as he puts it!
I'm so mad right now n I'm not keeping it in!!! I'm not going to let someone drag my ass through hell! I'm not going to give up my life n happiness for someone who feels so empowered to hurt me after everything he's done to me!!! I'm just so friggen pìssed!!!!
I'm so mad right now n I'm not keeping it in!!! I'm not going to let someone drag my ass through hell! I'm not going to give up my life n happiness for someone who feels so empowered to hurt me after everything he's done to me!!! I'm just so friggen pìssed!!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Rochester, ny
Posts: 405
I've always had a hard time getting angry at the victimizers. Instead, I get emotioanally dependent, and think if I just " take it" and not give them a hard time, they'll be nice to me.
Sometimes I do blow up, at a safer target...person or situation where I'm not emotionally begging for acceptance.
Boy, I sure get a lot of awarenesses here. Cant WAIT for my therapist to get back from vacation!!!!
Sometimes I do blow up, at a safer target...person or situation where I'm not emotionally begging for acceptance.
Boy, I sure get a lot of awarenesses here. Cant WAIT for my therapist to get back from vacation!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Pa
Posts: 21
I am angry at the disease of addiction and the Bi-polar my AW suffers from, but I am not mad at her, I am even more mad at the enablers she runs to when manic, especially the ones that know yet still coddle or even worse say hey come meet me for a drink and talk it will be ok... and recently I started letting them know it..... Luckily so far she elected to change her number and remove those people from our life...
My only fear for anger is like anything else, letting it go to far or in the wrong direction, but so far I think it is going where it needs to, and I thank you for posting that!
My only fear for anger is like anything else, letting it go to far or in the wrong direction, but so far I think it is going where it needs to, and I thank you for posting that!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I absolutely LOVE this post & have come back to read many times.... I know that anger has been a great motivator for me at times and I'm always confused when people say things like "it's something we need to just get past" or that it means I need to look deeper inside for the REAL source of my anger. When people act badly, abusively or inconsiderately toward me, yes I get angry & it's justified so long as I don't hold onto it .... I get so much more out of working through it so it doesn't root inside of me.
I'm printing this out for my recovery book - thank you so much for posting!
I'm printing this out for my recovery book - thank you so much for posting!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: somewhere south
Posts: 510
I am angry that my ADH is still continuing to hide his drinking despite being given an ultimatum. I am angry at the hold this disease has on him. I am angry that I have a partner who cannot give me the emotional and physical support I need in a relationship because the alcohol is consuming him. I am angry at myself for the codependent behaviors and allowing myself to get here. I am angry but I am getting stronger by the day.
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