20 Years Today! We made it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Raleigh, NC (Jersey Girl transplant)
Posts: 676
20 Years Today! We made it!
Hi Friends,
Hubby and I have made it to our 20th wedding anniversary. :tongue2:
I am so happy about making this milestone. I feel peaceful about us being together and I can appreciate him for the wonderful person that he is, while at the same time feeling sad about his limitations and his addiction to alcohol. This is such a change for me, before Alanon I would cycle through feelings of panic and wondering if I should leave him, was I making a big mistake? Now if I start thinking that way, I remember that life is not all good or bad, and that the bad times are not that bad, and that I don't have to feel happy all the time to stay married.
So here I am, 45 years old, with my son in college and my daughter graduating high school, and I feel serenity with my life. Amazing, I feel peaceful with confidence that all will be ok after all. Not to say I don't have goals and that I don't have problems still. But now I realize that to be alive is to have problems. My God, I finally don't take life as seriously! "It's only life after all" (Indigo Girls) My high school boyfriend would be relieved to know that. haha.
So often now I feel a wave a gratitude about some part of my life: my job, my children, my home, my car, my health. I actually feel like the lucky one! All this because of my growth in Alanon. My hubby is still drinking and he is still out of work, but our home is so much more peaceful. Because he doesn't feel my rage and my superior attitude, he doesn't get as angry when he is drinking. Also when he is an angry drunk, I just leave the house and forget about it. When I return, I make no mention about the incident and I don't pout about having "suffered" as a result of his attitude. I just let it go, and you know what? It's easy now, letting go. I never would have thought I would make it here.
Bless all of you that supported me, prayed for me, and listened to my story. I thank God for this site and for all of you. And I pray for all of you, early in your Alanon journey, have hope, it can happen for you. Alanon works. thanks for listening.
Hubby and I have made it to our 20th wedding anniversary. :tongue2:
I am so happy about making this milestone. I feel peaceful about us being together and I can appreciate him for the wonderful person that he is, while at the same time feeling sad about his limitations and his addiction to alcohol. This is such a change for me, before Alanon I would cycle through feelings of panic and wondering if I should leave him, was I making a big mistake? Now if I start thinking that way, I remember that life is not all good or bad, and that the bad times are not that bad, and that I don't have to feel happy all the time to stay married.
So here I am, 45 years old, with my son in college and my daughter graduating high school, and I feel serenity with my life. Amazing, I feel peaceful with confidence that all will be ok after all. Not to say I don't have goals and that I don't have problems still. But now I realize that to be alive is to have problems. My God, I finally don't take life as seriously! "It's only life after all" (Indigo Girls) My high school boyfriend would be relieved to know that. haha.
So often now I feel a wave a gratitude about some part of my life: my job, my children, my home, my car, my health. I actually feel like the lucky one! All this because of my growth in Alanon. My hubby is still drinking and he is still out of work, but our home is so much more peaceful. Because he doesn't feel my rage and my superior attitude, he doesn't get as angry when he is drinking. Also when he is an angry drunk, I just leave the house and forget about it. When I return, I make no mention about the incident and I don't pout about having "suffered" as a result of his attitude. I just let it go, and you know what? It's easy now, letting go. I never would have thought I would make it here.
Bless all of you that supported me, prayed for me, and listened to my story. I thank God for this site and for all of you. And I pray for all of you, early in your Alanon journey, have hope, it can happen for you. Alanon works. thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: California
Posts: 329
Wishing you a HAPPY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY ROSE!!!
Making it to 20 years is something you should be very proud of! After reading your post I realize that even though I have come a long way in my marriage I still have alot to learn. Your growth is a inspiration and motivation to me. Thank you Rose and enjoy your day!!! Alanon truely is AWSOME!!!
All the best,
matters
Making it to 20 years is something you should be very proud of! After reading your post I realize that even though I have come a long way in my marriage I still have alot to learn. Your growth is a inspiration and motivation to me. Thank you Rose and enjoy your day!!! Alanon truely is AWSOME!!!
All the best,
matters
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
A very Happy Anniversary ((Rose))! I have been wondering about you and how you were and you haven't let me down. Al Anon can even work with us hard headed types. :35:
You are a thoughtful and motivated student of the 12 steps and you are finally reaping some of the rewards! It is nice to be on the other side, isn't it??
I wish you would visit more!!
((HUGS))
JT
You are a thoughtful and motivated student of the 12 steps and you are finally reaping some of the rewards! It is nice to be on the other side, isn't it??
I wish you would visit more!!
((HUGS))
JT
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Happy Anniversary Rose!!! You've come a long way Baby....we all have, and one of the gifts of this program is that it just keeps getting better and better.
You deserve tha happiness you feel today Rose. You worked hard for it and I am so grateful that you have shared your recovery with me.
Hugs to you and hubby
Ann
You deserve tha happiness you feel today Rose. You worked hard for it and I am so grateful that you have shared your recovery with me.
Hugs to you and hubby
Ann
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
ROSE.....Congrats!!!! 20 is something to feel good about and hooray for al anon so that you are ENJOYING your life. It is so nice to feel peaceful and be able to look back at how far you have come and finally LIVE LIFE as it was intended. Many blessings, Constant
that is just 
believer
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: walking in faith
Posts: 1,023
Wow, how did I miss this threaad? Rose, you sound wonderful - what a change! I am so happy for you.
Congratulations on your anniversary and your success in recovery. You truly are an inspiration.
Hugs,
JG
Congratulations on your anniversary and your success in recovery. You truly are an inspiration.
Hugs,
JG
spirit
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
wow rose,that is a milestone, congratulations to you BOTH, sounds like you journey has a times been bumpy but in the end it is worth it.
feel pride today!! you deserve it, you must be a good wife and mum.
congratulations again
kath
feel pride today!! you deserve it, you must be a good wife and mum.
congratulations again
kath
Paused
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Posts: 1
Your posting really hit a mark with me! I feel exactly like you. I have been with my husband for 15 years ( married for almost ten) and he has been drinking the last 3 years after we suffered some financial problems. Everyday is a struggle and sometimes i feel like i should leave or he should, but it usually ends up ok and i realize i cannot control this person and i must take care of myself. he has his own demons, and life to live, as do i. I am getting over the fact that my marriage is not as perfect as my parents, and i shouldn't try to measure up to that ideal all the time . everyone's situation is different it is just how we choose to deal with our situation that matters.thank you for a hopeful and inspirational message and happy anniversary!!!!!!!!!!!
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