KeyHeart

I'm worried about my brother in law. He's trying to stop drinking again. I've quit drinking, it's been over a month now, using AVRT and this website. Also I've cut ties with my hard-drinking friends who clearly have NO understanding of recovery.

This is probably the fourth time he's attempted to quit in as many years. But he uses NO program and he has NOT STOPPED GOING TO THE BAR. He told me a couple of days ago, "I can do this all by myself. I quit smoking two years ago; how hard can it be to quit drinking?" Well, VERY hard. It's apples and oranges. You'll be hard pressed to find ANYONE who will try to get you to smoke, but go to a bar with drunk people, well, you're really just asking for trouble, IN MY OPINION.

Any experience? I'm offering my support to him, but with no program and no change to his lifestyle short of literally not pouring wine down his throat, I fear he's doomed to failure before he even got a good "grasp" on sobriety.

*sigh* I know no one can tell anyone else what to do. And maybe he's not even ready to quit. I don't know. A serious commitment to recovery require a serious comittment. It's fustrating. He's in bad shape, and I'm well aware that every time you quit and then restart, it's exponentially harder to quit each sucessive time.

Pelican

You know what happens when you keep going to the barber shop? You eventually get a haircut.

On this side of recovery, we refer to the 3 C's of our loved ones alcoholism:

I didn't Cause it
I can't Control it
I won't Cure it

The best thing to do is to focus on your own recovery. Be an example of how recovery can improve your life .

Congrats on your sober recovery!

KeyHeart

Thank you. I try to remember the advice from Allan Carr's Easyway to Control Drinking: Don't push your sobriety on anyone else. But sober is so good I want all the drinkers I love to feel this good! I'm just biting my nails and keeping my mouth shut