bluejay23

I appreciate and respect your thread however would have to disagree. There is instances when an alcoholic can be a wonderful, caring, and non abusive person. I am not one of those people who down play the abuse either. I came to sight to get advice to help my loved one, whom I am madly in love with and is a wonderful father to my child. This post made me afraid to seek help in fear of the judgement posted about alcoholics. I'm not trying to be rude, and though I've been with him for 7 years now, I am sure that there could be a time when things could get worse. I love him with all of my heart, we have a happy family, and he is a loyal hard working man. He doesn't stay out late drinking. He comes home every night. He tells me I'm beautiful and he loves me everyday. He puts up with my bs. He is working a ton of hours to help me get through school. I can tell him anything. We talk about his alcoholism. He knows he has a problem. With that said, I came here because I want him to be healthy. I want him to know he can get through a day without alcohol. I want him to know I will be by his side forever helping him through this. I came here to find out ways to do that. He is not the most important person in the household, but in our home we take care of each other. So when someone is struggling we do what we can to make it right. He wants help, but it's hard. Addiction is hard. Ultimately yes he has to make choice. I'm going to do what I can to help.
Again, I don't mean any disrespect. I hope I don't come off that way. I do think that there are times when you have to leave someone. You deserve to be treated with respect and love.

mattmathews

Don't be afraid.
I've found this to be a great site, with lots of great information as well as love, support and advice.
But at least one night a week I go to an Al-Anon meeting--where people never tell me what they think the solution to my problem is, where people aren't judgmental, and where people make an effort to avoid even talking about the alcoholic.
Al-Anon is a gentle healing program, it's been immensely helpful to me, and I'd highly recommend that you at least check it out. You can find a meeting near you online.
You'll hear here that you didn't cause the alcoholic to drink, you can't control his drinking, and you can't cure his drinking.
What you can do is to focus on your own health, sanity and well being. The tools you learn to help you with that and your changed attitudes can aid in recovery.

TakingCharge999

Excellent post.

Morning Glory

I will be bumping some older stickie posts so we don't lose them from our search feature. It might be a little cluttered until you post on the normal threads.