imallright

Haven't been on here in awhile. Good I guess. Need support today. Met someone who I thought was special. Turns out that he had issues with alcohol just like my ex-husband. Started out great. Sweet guy. Told him I was not looking for alcohol to play a role in our relationship. I am a social drinker... but not looking for alcohol all the time. A week ago, he came to my house, drank half a bottle of scotch, passed out on my couch, got him to bed and then was snoring so loud I had to leave my own bed.

He woke during the night. Still drunk... never asked why I was on the couch, never apologized. Next morning, never acknowledged that anything happened. I told him that I didn't think this was going to work and that I didn't want to be involved with someone who didn't understand the problem with this... "he wasn't that drunk". Sounds like the same old stuff from prior marriage.

I know I am making the right decision to end it... but feel bad. Like maybe I should be more supportive, give him another chance, etc. Do you ever recover from these feelings? Thought I had figured this out.

firebolt

You do have it figured out. You know how all this goes down.
Don't feel bad, you haven't done anything wrong! I hope you take care of yourself - I'm sorry you found out, but happy you found out sooner than later! ((((HUG)))

LexieCat

It's OK to have those urges to try to help, as long as you don't ACT on them. It's also OK to think that someone may deserve another chance--but YOU don't have to be the one to give it to him.

There is nothing selfish about wanting to be away from problem drinking for good. And anyone who will drink half a bottle of scotch at someone's house and pass out is a problem drinker, at the very least. Probably an alcoholic.

I think you were (are) a smart cookie.

imallright

Thank you. I know this is true. It's never ok for this to happen. And it is always difficult to remember that I didn't do anything. I just don't want this in my life. It hurts, but I am never going back to this type of relationship again... why do I feel like I need support???

LexieCat

BTW, wouldn't it be nice if alcoholics came with warning labels?

LexieCat

Because we all do, sometimes. Because lots of alcoholics are nice people, but they present problems that will ruin your life. Because it's always disappointing to find out someone wasn't who we thought they were. Because we start questioning whether everybody on earth isn't an addict of some kind.

So that's what we're here for. Vent away.

imallright

You'd think it would get easier to pick them out. Well actually, it took me almost 30 years to get out of the first relationship.... and this time I stood up for what I know is not right for me after 3 months.... maybe the next time I will steer clear before I go there at all...lol.

imallright

The fixer in me wants to try to explain this to him... again, I am smart enough to know that you can't explain this to someone who has this type of problem. But, that doesn't mean that I don't feel like some how I am being mean to him... man, I am still screwed up from all this nonsense. Think I am going to a meeting tonight....

imallright

So grateful I found this site many years ago. It is comforting to know I can come back here and find people like me who can help me to understand that i am not crazy, but addiction is crazy making. Hugs to all

Recovering2

"I know that I am making the right decision to end it..." STOP there! You ARE making the right decision. You are smarter from your past experience, you see the red flags right away. That's great! You know what happens when you become enmeshed in their disease.

I'm glad you recognized it for what it is....alcoholism. Cut ties. Keep moving forward on your path to health. Leave him to his own path.