my3sonsnme

No contact actually means NO CONTACT..I know this, and in my head I really thought I was having no contact. I rarely would see my STBXRAH unless he was picking up our son (which doesn't happen often at all) and even then he would just pull up front..we wouldn't speak.
He has made it clear (I don't need to know details about him..exact words) that he doesn't want to be contacted regarding our son so there is rarely a time we need to speak. But....in the last year every week or so he would text me random questions or I would text him random questions and we would pull each other in to these bizzar day long text arguments that were pointless. Almost like we were doing our dance we did when we were together...
It has been over 2 weeks of literally NC...and the peace and calm I am feeling I getting to be deeper every day. He has text me several times and I just haven't answered..he called and I let it go to voicemail. He hasn't been by to pick up our son so I haven't seen him.....It has been amazing the healing effect it has had. Even our house hold is calmer. Really, his name has not even come up, its like he doesn't exist and that hasn't been so bad.
Ill be clear..he text me one time and asked what our son was doing...I responded that he was with his friends and that was it. If he actually is contacting me regarding our son and I don't think he is using it to pull me in I will of course respond. Our son does not have a cell phone and we don't have a land line so he contacts him threw my cell. which also doesn't happen very often.
so I guess Im just sayen that NC is amazing...and it is possible.
who knew?????

dandylion

Dear My3sonsnme, Now, you are catching on!! Great,isn't it?!

sincerely, dandylion

HopefulmomtoD

Good work- so glad that you are feeling more peaceful.

MsBubbles88

It ws a blessing to read this post this am, I'll tell ya. I have been applying the NC rule since Tuesday this week at 1pm. It has been killing me, but I have the love and support of a therapist (ph.D) whom is in recovery himself, and lots of friends that have been exactly where I am at. It's always nice to know I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing.

my3sonsnme

MsBubbles, I know it is not easy...after 20 yrs its uncomfortable to just erase them out of your life. I went from texting him trying to get him to talk to me, Im embarrassed to admit how often I drove by his house to see if the woman he left for was spending the night..and how long I did that. It made me crazy, and it wasn't causing any pain to any one but me...I was playing the victim to the fullest extent.
Let go or be dragged....
I finally got sick and tired of being dragged and mostly by my own rope.
It will get easier. and you really aren't alone.

BunnyNest

No contact is so difficult but the peace it eventually brings is amazing! Good for you.

MsBubbles88

I'm on day 4... feeling stronger and stronger each minute that goes by. Applying the principles of the program to this situation and desperately trusting God, with much willingness, to get through this. Thank you for your kind words.

neferkamichael

My3sonsnme, you are FANTASTIC.

my3sonsnme

thanks everyone...today I spent the day with my sister and 2 of my 3 boys going to lunch and seeing the Oz movie.
Rarely thought of him...and am liking myself so much more every day. I am learning tons about myself in the last few weeks...and really, really proud of how I am handling
things. I haven't felt like that since this whole thing started.