To tell or not to tell the alcoholic partner you attend al-anon meeting?
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 588
By the time I went to Alanon, the last thing I wanted was another secret to keep after years of the big secret of his alcoholism. I told him immediately.
At first he was upset and worried that I was there to bash him with stories from our life, apologetic that he was "making me seek help", etc. He pulled out every manipulation he knew to guilt me into not going because my attendance made him feel bad. Sad puppy dog eyes from here to tomorrow!
I explained that Alanon was for me, that we were encouraged to not discuss the alcoholic, and that I would continue to attend.
His efforts at manipulations about me attending meetings have for the most part ended and have no effect on me. My job now is to fix me.
(FWIW he is still drinking and has not attempted any recovery.)
Just my experience.
p.s. Lexie, love your description of the Merry go Round!
At first he was upset and worried that I was there to bash him with stories from our life, apologetic that he was "making me seek help", etc. He pulled out every manipulation he knew to guilt me into not going because my attendance made him feel bad. Sad puppy dog eyes from here to tomorrow!
I explained that Alanon was for me, that we were encouraged to not discuss the alcoholic, and that I would continue to attend.
His efforts at manipulations about me attending meetings have for the most part ended and have no effect on me. My job now is to fix me.
(FWIW he is still drinking and has not attempted any recovery.)
Just my experience.
p.s. Lexie, love your description of the Merry go Round!
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