Okay, help out an A who is now F&F
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Posts: 565
Okay, help out an A who is now F&F
I posted here awhile back, but normally post in the Alcoholic section which is where I belong.
I'm an alcoholic, just over 4 years sober. My girlfriend (?) is also an alcoholic addict. We fell in love about a year and half ago, and I knew it was a mistake, but I fell into the "fixing" trap. If I did it, so could she, with love and support. Well, she went on a huge run a week or so ago, meeting random people at liquor stores, parks, and god knows what else. Actually, I do know, because I used to do it myself. Disappearing for days at a time, coming home like nothing is wrong.
Anyway, we have vowed to break up for good this time. She left and took all her stuff, last time she did this she got beaten and robbed, and then my alcoholic butt almost went to jail because I found the people who did it. This disease truly does affect EVERYONE.
I recently got a new job, a professional job again, for the first time in 4 years. I really feel like the promises are coming true and people are finally giving me another chance and treating me like a human again. But it's taken a ton of work to get here. And sometimes, I feel like I'm going off the rails.
Why do I feel like such a failure? I beat the alcohol, why couldn't I show her the way or coping mechanisms? She would have nothing to do with the meditation and spirituality that has guided me. Instead she thought it would all be a "medication" issue.
Oh well, I'll read posts and venture to my "uncomfortable" side. This website was instrumental in my sobriety. Hopefully it can continue to be instrumental in my recovery.
I'm an alcoholic, just over 4 years sober. My girlfriend (?) is also an alcoholic addict. We fell in love about a year and half ago, and I knew it was a mistake, but I fell into the "fixing" trap. If I did it, so could she, with love and support. Well, she went on a huge run a week or so ago, meeting random people at liquor stores, parks, and god knows what else. Actually, I do know, because I used to do it myself. Disappearing for days at a time, coming home like nothing is wrong.
Anyway, we have vowed to break up for good this time. She left and took all her stuff, last time she did this she got beaten and robbed, and then my alcoholic butt almost went to jail because I found the people who did it. This disease truly does affect EVERYONE.
I recently got a new job, a professional job again, for the first time in 4 years. I really feel like the promises are coming true and people are finally giving me another chance and treating me like a human again. But it's taken a ton of work to get here. And sometimes, I feel like I'm going off the rails.
Why do I feel like such a failure? I beat the alcohol, why couldn't I show her the way or coping mechanisms? She would have nothing to do with the meditation and spirituality that has guided me. Instead she thought it would all be a "medication" issue.
Oh well, I'll read posts and venture to my "uncomfortable" side. This website was instrumental in my sobriety. Hopefully it can continue to be instrumental in my recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
Congrats on your 4 years!
Now, to answer your question, think back to when you were in the depths of alcoholism - how many times did peole try to 'fix' you and it didn't work? How strong was your denial?
There is not a damn thing you can do for her - just like there was nothing anyone could do for you when your were in the throes of those times past. She needs to figure it out on her own, on her own terms, in her own time. Maybe she won't, maybe she will. But just like nobody could fix you, until she's ready - no one will be able to fix her either.
It's cold, it sucks, but that's the way it easy. Stay on your path, work your program, and best of luck to you. And stick around here, this is a great place to be.
C-OH Dad
Now, to answer your question, think back to when you were in the depths of alcoholism - how many times did peole try to 'fix' you and it didn't work? How strong was your denial?
There is not a damn thing you can do for her - just like there was nothing anyone could do for you when your were in the throes of those times past. She needs to figure it out on her own, on her own terms, in her own time. Maybe she won't, maybe she will. But just like nobody could fix you, until she's ready - no one will be able to fix her either.
It's cold, it sucks, but that's the way it easy. Stay on your path, work your program, and best of luck to you. And stick around here, this is a great place to be.
C-OH Dad
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Welcome, TexasBlind. So sorry for your situation that brings you to our side of the forum, but hope you find that this side has its benefits as well.
I agree with CODad above - the denial is different for everyone. And its much easier to see someone else's denial before we can truly see our own.
It sounds as if you are working hard to rebuild your life, and have lots of great things going on! The potential to go down in flames with an alcoholic is high for us loves ones, which is why you'll read a lot of the "leave him/her" talk here that really angers people at first. It's not that any of us here are anti-relationships or anti-addicts, its the idea that we all have a right to a good life and if being in a relationship with an addict isn't bringing you anything positive (or in your case, is a potential threat to your successes), is it a good relationship to hang on to? Do we stay with people banking on their potential? Or do we accept them for who they are right now and base our decisions on that alone?
Congrats on 4 years. That's awesome!
~T
I agree with CODad above - the denial is different for everyone. And its much easier to see someone else's denial before we can truly see our own.
It sounds as if you are working hard to rebuild your life, and have lots of great things going on! The potential to go down in flames with an alcoholic is high for us loves ones, which is why you'll read a lot of the "leave him/her" talk here that really angers people at first. It's not that any of us here are anti-relationships or anti-addicts, its the idea that we all have a right to a good life and if being in a relationship with an addict isn't bringing you anything positive (or in your case, is a potential threat to your successes), is it a good relationship to hang on to? Do we stay with people banking on their potential? Or do we accept them for who they are right now and base our decisions on that alone?
Congrats on 4 years. That's awesome!
~T
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Sorry you are in this position. It's lonely, defeating, and painful at times, BUT your life can be peaceful despite her issues if you truly focus on you and your own life, health, and sanity. A very common phrase in here gets me through this daily:
You didn't cause it. You can't cure it. And you can't control it.
No truer words were ever spoken. There is nothing you can do for her, but make your own life good. She has to figure it out on her own - just like you did.
This forum is a good place to be - welcome! :ghug3
You didn't cause it. You can't cure it. And you can't control it.
No truer words were ever spoken. There is nothing you can do for her, but make your own life good. She has to figure it out on her own - just like you did.
This forum is a good place to be - welcome! :ghug3
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
Hi Texas and welcome. I'm sorry you had to come here like this.
The issues you are having are pretty well covered in Step 1.
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
In our case the alcohol we are powerless over is not what we drink but what someone who we love drinks and it makes us just as crazy as it does them.
It is an issue of control and we don't have any. I can't change other people, places and things. To be honest, I don't have the right to try and control their lives.
I had to simply turn that over to my higher power. You may want to consider some Alanon meetings. I know people who attend both and they say the focus of the meetings and the step work while similar is rather different.
Good luck with this and keep coming back as there is a lot of wisdom on the forum.
And the 4 years sober,
.
Your friend,
The issues you are having are pretty well covered in Step 1.
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
In our case the alcohol we are powerless over is not what we drink but what someone who we love drinks and it makes us just as crazy as it does them.
It is an issue of control and we don't have any. I can't change other people, places and things. To be honest, I don't have the right to try and control their lives.
I had to simply turn that over to my higher power. You may want to consider some Alanon meetings. I know people who attend both and they say the focus of the meetings and the step work while similar is rather different.
Good luck with this and keep coming back as there is a lot of wisdom on the forum.
And the 4 years sober,
.Your friend,
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Hey Texas, welcome to the F & F forums, rofl
Yep, I am a double winner, and hang out here probably more than in the
Alcoholic forums.
There are some really great Alanon meetings in ABQ, I know I attended
them when I lived up there and still attend once in a while when I have
had to go to ABQ if I have time.
Believe it or not, but we A's are also very codependent and I found for
me that Alanon really helped a lot. I got an Alanon sponsor when I first
started going (ordered by my AA sponsor, lol) and my Alanon sponsor
was a 'Double Winner' which helped a lot.
So try some Alanon meetings.
And remember the 3 C's:
You didn't CAUSE this.
You can't CONTROL this.
You can't CURE this.
The only person we can fix is ourselves. Talking with others in the same boat
helps a lot, just as talking with A's helped us a lot.
Hope to see more postings!
Love and hugs,
Yep, I am a double winner, and hang out here probably more than in the
Alcoholic forums.
There are some really great Alanon meetings in ABQ, I know I attended
them when I lived up there and still attend once in a while when I have
had to go to ABQ if I have time.
Believe it or not, but we A's are also very codependent and I found for
me that Alanon really helped a lot. I got an Alanon sponsor when I first
started going (ordered by my AA sponsor, lol) and my Alanon sponsor
was a 'Double Winner' which helped a lot.
So try some Alanon meetings.
And remember the 3 C's:
You didn't CAUSE this.
You can't CONTROL this.
You can't CURE this.
The only person we can fix is ourselves. Talking with others in the same boat
helps a lot, just as talking with A's helped us a lot.
Hope to see more postings!
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
First of all, congratulations on not circling the drain with her and on not giving up your hard-earned four years in recovery.
I also got into a relationship with a guy in recovery. I was 4 years clean/sober myself.
The end result was he relapsed and I went right down the drain with him.
It was not worth it, I guarantee.
By God's grace I made it back into recovery two months later, but he never did.
He received an inheritance earlier this year, went to Vegas to party, overdosed, and died.
Never again will I endanger my own recovery in a toxic relationship.
Mlk3 already mentioned step 1, and that was my first thought when I read your post.
We are powerless over alcohol, and that includes other alcoholics in our lives.
Dig extra hard into your recovery dear, and let her higher power tend to her.
Sending you hugs of support on the Kansas breezes.
I also got into a relationship with a guy in recovery. I was 4 years clean/sober myself.
The end result was he relapsed and I went right down the drain with him.
It was not worth it, I guarantee.
By God's grace I made it back into recovery two months later, but he never did.
He received an inheritance earlier this year, went to Vegas to party, overdosed, and died.
Never again will I endanger my own recovery in a toxic relationship.
Mlk3 already mentioned step 1, and that was my first thought when I read your post.
We are powerless over alcohol, and that includes other alcoholics in our lives.
Dig extra hard into your recovery dear, and let her higher power tend to her.
Sending you hugs of support on the Kansas breezes.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Posts: 565
:rotfxko
At all you people from the other boards "stalking" me over here!! I should know by now that you NEVER escape soberrecovery.com! Thank you so much everyone!
Yes, I know I can't change her. Sometimes I get so frustrated that what worked for one doesn't work for another. I did it, I have my way...but that doesn't mean it's anyone's else's way. Just frustrated is all....
At all you people from the other boards "stalking" me over here!! I should know by now that you NEVER escape soberrecovery.com! Thank you so much everyone!
Yes, I know I can't change her. Sometimes I get so frustrated that what worked for one doesn't work for another. I did it, I have my way...but that doesn't mean it's anyone's else's way. Just frustrated is all....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
Hi Texasblind,
You know you haven't failed, she is the one that's failing. I know you know that I support you 110% and I think the fact that she packed up and left is good for you, and hopefully will be a step for her to keep going and hit her bottom which as you know, we all need to hit that point for ourselves. You can't save her, she needs to save herself.
You OWE YOURSELF what is in front of you. You have worked hard to get to this point in your life, don't let anyone or anything, INCLUDING YOURSELF, get in your way.
Believe me, I know the work I had to do to get to the point where I am in my life which is why after a short run, I knew I needed to knock the crap off or I'd lose it all again, and you know what? It's not worth it, and I don't want to die, and I also don't want to do all that hard work again, it was years of work, you know that being where you're at even now, she's not worth it (she obviously doesn't think she is), but you are.
Look, I just FINALLY after four years, bought a brand new car last year, that was AWESOME!!! I was no where near that five years ago.
Everything is going good for you, even though it may not feel that way, you need to take care of your first. It will get better no matter how bad you're feeling now, trust that fact!
Being someone who also is in the business, as hard as it is you shouldn't enable her by even putting a roof over her head if she asks, you should be able to tell her "go find yourself a detox or go to the hospital..." Also, this may be a good time to switch gears and hit an Alanon meeting instead of and AA meeting, and share there. CentralOhio made some great points that I'm sure you get too. Take care of you first, everything else needs to go the wayside, protect your recovery, and just to point out, she's not respecting yours very much as well. Let her go...
I don't know if any of that helps, but I hope it does. I don't want to see my friend lose what he's got, so take care of yourself and let us know how it goes. My very, very best to you friend!!
~ Vegibean.
You know you haven't failed, she is the one that's failing. I know you know that I support you 110% and I think the fact that she packed up and left is good for you, and hopefully will be a step for her to keep going and hit her bottom which as you know, we all need to hit that point for ourselves. You can't save her, she needs to save herself.
You OWE YOURSELF what is in front of you. You have worked hard to get to this point in your life, don't let anyone or anything, INCLUDING YOURSELF, get in your way.
Believe me, I know the work I had to do to get to the point where I am in my life which is why after a short run, I knew I needed to knock the crap off or I'd lose it all again, and you know what? It's not worth it, and I don't want to die, and I also don't want to do all that hard work again, it was years of work, you know that being where you're at even now, she's not worth it (she obviously doesn't think she is), but you are.
Look, I just FINALLY after four years, bought a brand new car last year, that was AWESOME!!! I was no where near that five years ago.
Everything is going good for you, even though it may not feel that way, you need to take care of your first. It will get better no matter how bad you're feeling now, trust that fact!
Being someone who also is in the business, as hard as it is you shouldn't enable her by even putting a roof over her head if she asks, you should be able to tell her "go find yourself a detox or go to the hospital..." Also, this may be a good time to switch gears and hit an Alanon meeting instead of and AA meeting, and share there. CentralOhio made some great points that I'm sure you get too. Take care of you first, everything else needs to go the wayside, protect your recovery, and just to point out, she's not respecting yours very much as well. Let her go...
I don't know if any of that helps, but I hope it does. I don't want to see my friend lose what he's got, so take care of yourself and let us know how it goes. My very, very best to you friend!!
~ Vegibean.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Texas
Look how well you have done.
Wow 4 whole years.
That is amazing.
Your life is heading upwards with the job.
Don't loose it again...especially if Jail could be involved.
Its not right in a relationship that she disappears for days on end.
Stop trying to be her knight in shining armour....it's hopeless.
Yes it is sad.
Yes it might hurt.
Yes you can probably see where it is going to end up and your trying to stop it.
But you have to let her live the consequences of her actions.
You also have to live the consequences of your actions.
But your actions are good.
You need to reap the rewards your good actions will bring.
But thats not going to happen if you are dragged down by her.
I really wish you the best xx
Look how well you have done.
Wow 4 whole years.
That is amazing.
Your life is heading upwards with the job.
Don't loose it again...especially if Jail could be involved.
Its not right in a relationship that she disappears for days on end.
Stop trying to be her knight in shining armour....it's hopeless.
Yes it is sad.
Yes it might hurt.
Yes you can probably see where it is going to end up and your trying to stop it.
But you have to let her live the consequences of her actions.
You also have to live the consequences of your actions.
But your actions are good.
You need to reap the rewards your good actions will bring.
But thats not going to happen if you are dragged down by her.
I really wish you the best xx
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hi, and welcome! I'm another one who has been on both sides of a relationship with a drinking problem. Now that I'm sober for four and a half years and not dealing with any actively drinking alcoholics, my Al-Anon activity is mostly confined to this forum. Al-Anon was a HUGE lifeline for me, though, when I was dealing with some pretty scary and sad stuff.
Sorry for your friend, but glad you are taking good care of the only person you can really do anything about!
Sorry for your friend, but glad you are taking good care of the only person you can really do anything about!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I beat the alcohol, why couldn't I show her the way or coping mechanisms?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Posts: 565
Thank you all so much!! Even though I can say No to alcohol, it's clear I still have some addict behaviors in me. But as an alcoholic, part of me think I'll be beaten and thrown things and kicked out of an AlAnon meeting. I'm all the things they hate. I guess I'm as scared of an AlAnon meeting as first timers of an AA meeting.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
Hey Texas...
Congratulations on your four years of sobriety! I am really so happy for you. I am so happy that you are enjoying the promises of your program. Isn't it amazing? What a miracle.
I'm not an alcoholic. I am a recovering codependent and the adult child of an alcoholic. I really hope you will give al anon a try. We have plenty of 'double winners' at our meetings and their experience and input is always very much appreciated and welcome.
Alot of times I wonder what perception AA people have of us. I know my exah absolutely hated it when I started to go to meetings. He used to say that my al anon friends were brainwashing me and telling me what to do. He was of the opinion that al anon people hate alcoholics and that we sit around b****ing about them and plotting on ways to get even or to 'dump' them. In reality, we focus on our behavior. As a codependent I had to take ownership of the fact that I was a willing participant in the addiction dance. I had to take ownership of my life and my problems and make decisions about my life that were based on what was best for me and leave my exah in the hands of his higher power. Although I struggled for YEARS to fix my marriage or find the strength to leave, it wasn't until I got into al anon that I found peace and a healthier way of living. I did end up divorcing my exah. Al anon gave me the tools I needed to make a decision I could live with...a decision that was best for ME and not (as I had done in years past) out of a perverse sense of guilt that I was responsible for 'saving' my exah.
Al anon helped me to focus on his ACTIONS and not his WORDS.
For me, it really boiled down to one thing: MY EGO. I thought I was strong and compassionate enough to save him. I was going to be the good wife who stood by her husband and honored her marriage vows. What I saw as kindness and compassion was actually enabling, controlling, and manipulative behavior. I'm not God. I had to stop trying to play God in my marriage and in my exah's life.
I can't tell you what a difference the program has made in my life. And I know it can help you too. It hurts to watch someone we love destroy themselves with alcohol or drugs. Letting go doesn't mean we have to stop loving them or caring about them, it just means we have to love ourselves too. Sometimes, we have to let go or be dragged under. Letting go isn't for wimps or the faint of heart but its the only way. The alcoholic has to find recovery on their own terms, in their own time. You can't force the process.
Anyway, welcome to our side of the fence! Now go find a meeting!! You won't regret it!!
Mary
Congratulations on your four years of sobriety! I am really so happy for you. I am so happy that you are enjoying the promises of your program. Isn't it amazing? What a miracle.
I'm not an alcoholic. I am a recovering codependent and the adult child of an alcoholic. I really hope you will give al anon a try. We have plenty of 'double winners' at our meetings and their experience and input is always very much appreciated and welcome.
Alot of times I wonder what perception AA people have of us. I know my exah absolutely hated it when I started to go to meetings. He used to say that my al anon friends were brainwashing me and telling me what to do. He was of the opinion that al anon people hate alcoholics and that we sit around b****ing about them and plotting on ways to get even or to 'dump' them. In reality, we focus on our behavior. As a codependent I had to take ownership of the fact that I was a willing participant in the addiction dance. I had to take ownership of my life and my problems and make decisions about my life that were based on what was best for me and leave my exah in the hands of his higher power. Although I struggled for YEARS to fix my marriage or find the strength to leave, it wasn't until I got into al anon that I found peace and a healthier way of living. I did end up divorcing my exah. Al anon gave me the tools I needed to make a decision I could live with...a decision that was best for ME and not (as I had done in years past) out of a perverse sense of guilt that I was responsible for 'saving' my exah.
Al anon helped me to focus on his ACTIONS and not his WORDS.
For me, it really boiled down to one thing: MY EGO. I thought I was strong and compassionate enough to save him. I was going to be the good wife who stood by her husband and honored her marriage vows. What I saw as kindness and compassion was actually enabling, controlling, and manipulative behavior. I'm not God. I had to stop trying to play God in my marriage and in my exah's life.
I can't tell you what a difference the program has made in my life. And I know it can help you too. It hurts to watch someone we love destroy themselves with alcohol or drugs. Letting go doesn't mean we have to stop loving them or caring about them, it just means we have to love ourselves too. Sometimes, we have to let go or be dragged under. Letting go isn't for wimps or the faint of heart but its the only way. The alcoholic has to find recovery on their own terms, in their own time. You can't force the process.
Anyway, welcome to our side of the fence! Now go find a meeting!! You won't regret it!!
Mary
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
Originally Posted by Texasblind 
Thank you all so much!! Even though I can say No to alcohol, it's clear I still have some addict behaviors in me. But as an alcoholic, part of me think I'll be beaten and thrown things and kicked out of an AlAnon meeting. I'm all the things they hate. I guess I'm as scared of an AlAnon meeting as first timers of an AA meeting.
You would be welcomed with open arms. We are there to help ourselves and anyone who has issues dealing with someone else's drinking. We have our own addict behaviors to overcome, like trying to save everyone in the world except ourselves.
Your friend,
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by m1k3
Nothing to be scared of except a room full of people who love to have a chance to fix an alcoholic.
Yup, ya never know, might walk out with an Al-Anon on each arm.
JK, it's good to laugh at ourselves.
box of chocolates
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Hey texasblind im from texas lol
I just wanted to congrats to your sibreity and sorry about your girlfriend
Some need to find sobreity their own way and some never do but its not your fault.
Her drinking isnt and her recovery isnt either.
I beat myself over the head as well wondering what I could do or say.
That power is in the A alone as your aware .
Yes it truly does effect everyone....so much so but addicts while using do not see that.
Continue kicking butt regardless. Good luck
I just wanted to congrats to your sibreity and sorry about your girlfriend
Some need to find sobreity their own way and some never do but its not your fault.
Her drinking isnt and her recovery isnt either.
I beat myself over the head as well wondering what I could do or say.
That power is in the A alone as your aware .
Yes it truly does effect everyone....so much so but addicts while using do not see that.
Continue kicking butt regardless. Good luck
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hi Texasblind....welcome to the wonderful world of being what we like to call a 'double winner'--someone who needs recovery from addiction and help in dealing with the impact of someone else's addiction in their lives.
I know this has already been said, but it is the unfortunate truth...you will have no more control over your girlfriends alcohol and drug use than anyone had over yours in your active addiction. A post that really helped me during my early days at SR is this:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Take good care of yourself. Congratulations on your sober time! That is such a wonderful accomplishment.
I know this has already been said, but it is the unfortunate truth...you will have no more control over your girlfriends alcohol and drug use than anyone had over yours in your active addiction. A post that really helped me during my early days at SR is this:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Take good care of yourself. Congratulations on your sober time! That is such a wonderful accomplishment.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
Hey TexasBlind-
I have to say living in the great state of NM, that your name makes me giggle.
I have done all of my recovery from living with an alcoholic here in NM, and I have found that there are loving, caring individuals in all levels of recovery on both sides of the AA/Al-Anon coin. I did open AA meetings for awhile and got so much support and hope/find that the "double" winners in my home group find the same thing. Those open AA meetings helped me to see how much humor recovery could hold when you are willing to look at your own stuff. It also helped me to see how many people in AA struggle with codependency too...but that one way they dealt with it was drinking which I had not done (I used other destructive coping mechanisms instead).
During the warmer months there are also a number of great AA/Al-anon get togethers in the state for me helping to remember that we are all working our recovery and that is what is important.
Welcome to another step in your recovery.
I have to say living in the great state of NM, that your name makes me giggle.
I have done all of my recovery from living with an alcoholic here in NM, and I have found that there are loving, caring individuals in all levels of recovery on both sides of the AA/Al-Anon coin. I did open AA meetings for awhile and got so much support and hope/find that the "double" winners in my home group find the same thing. Those open AA meetings helped me to see how much humor recovery could hold when you are willing to look at your own stuff. It also helped me to see how many people in AA struggle with codependency too...but that one way they dealt with it was drinking which I had not done (I used other destructive coping mechanisms instead).
During the warmer months there are also a number of great AA/Al-anon get togethers in the state for me helping to remember that we are all working our recovery and that is what is important.
Welcome to another step in your recovery.
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