lovingenabler

FEELING FLIRTY TONIGHT!!!! is this wrong????

Freedom1990

I met my ex-fiance online. It was a whirlwind romance, and he put an engagement ring on my finger. 15 month of thinking it was too good to be true, and indeed it was. I was emotionally vulnerable when I first started talking to him. He was too. It was one hot mess in the end, and he walked out on me and my then 11-year-old daughter. It was a very painful lesson, both emotionally and financially.

Dating sites aren't even on my list of to-do's anymore. I had enough.

lovingenabler

I'm sorry to hear your story, Freedom...

I have never experienced online dating sites and feel strange even going on there, but I figured I would take a sneak peek just to get my mind off my XABF.

I am not looking for a relationship right away, and you are probably right about the vulnerability factor. It makes sense that almost anything walking on two legs that approached me with kindness right now would catch my eye!!!!! Given how confused and let down I am.....

Thanks for your response.

ReflectingOnMe

I have heard of many finding happiness on dating sites. Just keep your eyes open and listen to your gut. I have instilled a 1yr no dating rule for myself, but after that I wouldnt be opposed to joining a dating site.

Happy hunting ;-)

ZiggyB

No, it isn't wrong at all...

I did online dating after my ex and I broke up... I had a few dates with some nice men. None of them turned into anything but it kept me from feeling like a lonely mess.

I met a few guys that were interested in me but I wasn't wanting to get into a rebound relationship with anyone. I cannot even imagine what I would do right now with another broken heart. It can be kind of fun as long as you don't take it too seriously.

lovingenabler

I've been browsing for a few minutes now and I realized that I am not finding any of these guys attractive....I guess I'm somehow looking for an artsy type like he was, none of those dentists, lawyers or bankers have caught my eye......agghh.

Why can't I just find a handsome Argentine, black hair, pale skin, beautiful dark brown eyes, musician, non-smoker, NON-DRINKER, non-bloated!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

lovingenabler

I have also considered putting myself on a "no dating" regime!!! Probably best since I don't want to screw up my chances by meeting the REAL man of my life while I am in shambles

DoubleBarrel

I have three very successful friends who have met and married women online, have good marriages and good children.
If you do it correctly, you cast a wider net of people, and can find folks who might be more compatible that you would never have run into randomly. Makes sense to me.
That being said, I think if you aren't pretty stable yourself, you won't find or be attracted to the right person either. So many Codie's and alcoholics keep finding each other.

ResignedToWait

I never get why when people have a bad relationship with someone they met at a dating site, they blame the dating site (oh because of jerk face McGee, I'll never meet anyone online again)
Huh? Why not blame jerk face mcgee!

lovingenabler

Jerk Face McGee!!! hahahhahah!

ResignedToWait

I truly hope I didn't offend anyone actually name Jerk Face McGhee. That would be an unfortunate (but hilarious) coincidence. :-)

lillamy

I'm in a relationship, but internet dating would sound a whole lot more attractive to me than "normal" dating, actually. Being burned by dating (and marrying) alcoholics for years, I think I'd want to know one heckuvalot about a guy before putting in the effort of meeting.

I'm trying to count the people I know who have met online and it's quite a few (and that's only the people who ADMIT they met online... )

lovingenabler

hahhahahhahah!!! I created a profile but didn't put a picture on it for fear that other friends searching in the New York City area would stumble upon my picture... hahahhahahaha!! but I guess I could get them right back by saying: and what were YOUUUUUUUUUU doing in match dot com???? jaajjajaja

ZiggyB

Exactly. I tried it and felt I was too much of an emotional mess to let anyone get very close. So it's better to wait until you're really ready.

choublak

Only you know the answer to that. But, why are you asking that question?

Helenlee

Are you a co-dependent?
I reckon it's about as sensible for a codie to join a dating site as it is for an alcoholic to go to a bar to find new friends. Truly. I say this from personal experience. Nothing wrong with dating sites ... they're fine for emotionally healthy people. For codies they're like putting out a fire with gasoline. Took me a while but I finally figured out that not dating at all & focusing on dealing with my own issues was the healthiest thing to do. I found it more difficult than my ex found keeping of the booze.

brokenrose

LovingEnabler once again our lives are following the same paths: my gf and I both joined on New Years Day, I am going to be very picky this time around, for ex. if he is 40 and doesn't drive Hello Red Flag (thats a joke with my friends because xabf did not drive or own a car, or a house or a savings acct. uggh) Anyways I think it can't hurt, there are some nice men out there still, who are not addicts or sociopaths and I will not meet them sitting here by myself crying over someone who never deserved me at all.I say go for it. Good luck.

BillyPilgrim

I think most people here have it right, you will meet fools online and offline. All internet dating is expand the pool of fools and non fools
If you are ready to go ahead and make a go of things it is totally right
It is also right if you just want a bit of flirting.

You meet people on these sites, and you just have to learn to understand them.
It also stopped me being indoors and moping, where I could turn to drink

fluffyflea

:

Just be careful, those sites can be tricky.

lovingenabler

In reading people's descriptions of their ideal date, I noticed a lot of men emphasized the "NO TIME FOR DRAMA" part, and that immediately made me an unsuitable candidate. I realize that I need to forget all the pain I have been going through, I have to let my story with my XABF cool off inside my heart so I am not thinking about it at all... Besides, it's only been 13 days...... it would just be plain sh!tty and unhealthy if ANYONE ending ANY relationship started dating 13 days after their breakup...... Thanks for your advice guys.