how do you talk to a drunk
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is talks about how it may be dangerous to talk to a drunk under the influence. It's best to talk to them when they are hungover or coming off a bender. Not only will the intoxicated person not listen but they may agree to whatever you are saying & not remember. You could have a 1hr conversation on the phone with a loved one who is drunk & the next day they will not remember talking to you.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
You chose to do something self destructive and harmful to everyone you love or were you unable to choose not to?
The former suggests a defect in character, the latter a debilitating illness that you were not strong enough to overcome until the day you did.
The former suggests a defect in character, the latter a debilitating illness that you were not strong enough to overcome until the day you did.
I think addicts and their loved ones are more likely to heal if they can stop blaming themselves or one another.
Soberlicious - I appreciate your response and mean no disrespect, please read this as "hey, you did the best you could at the time". Thank god you have the tools now to do better.
I seldom get my panties in a wad over opposing opinions. It's a free country. I really did not do the best I could at the time. I refused the hands that reached out to me, I felt sorry for myself, I felt the world owed me something, and I felt no one understood me. I was forced to stop (baker acted) which gave me just the second of clarity I needed to begin to change. It was only when the buck stopped that I had to decide. Prior to that, I controlled everyone and they tiptoed around me. If anyone even hinted at me stopping I shut them out from my life. Completely. It was only when I had no more choices left that I stopped.
Yes, I have the tools to do better now, but more importantly I realized it was time to grow the f**k up.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
I have told my husband, It's time to grow the fawk up. lol He is talking of living the good life but until he puts those words into actions, I don't believe him. It's like I'm caught in a scary movie just waiting for the next scene and if I'm going to scream in horror or what.... I don't know yet! I'm waiting and my nails are bit to the nubs. 
Like I said earlier, I try to get the seriousness of life in general in while he's sober. Any other way and it's like I told the dog to pay the bills.
Like I said earlier, I try to get the seriousness of life in general in while he's sober. Any other way and it's like I told the dog to pay the bills.
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