DefofLov

This morning I woke up (after being flipping mad yesterday) and I decided I no longer wanted to blame them. Them being my mother, her family, former friends and people who hurt me in general. I prayed this morning and asked God to help me forgive them and accept them for what they are. My anger will do nothing to change them. While I am still hurt by their actions, I am taking my own action to prevent future pain. Why should I allow the past to dictate my happiness now?

From this point forward, I would like to forgive my mother and accept her for what she is. However, I will no longer tolerate her behavior. The boundaries still stand. I will not talk to her unless she is sober and I will no longer live in her house. As for my former best friend, I accept her for what she is and the boundaries remain. I will not allow her actions or rumours that are spread dictate how I feel. As for ex-boyfriends, I am moving on from them as well. I accept what happened with them for what it is and I am now moving on.

I no longer want to allow the pain from my past consume me and I believe that part of that is just accepting the past for what it is, accepting people for who they are and drawing the necessary boundaries to prevent them from hurting me further.

I have found peace, though it may be temporary, I am enjoying it today.

~Def

Jeff_C

Where there is anger you will also find the elements of fear swirling about the object of our anger. And while “letting go� and forgiveness are exactly the way we go about dissipating those emotions, we don’t just say it and have it occur. You’re right on in coupling that with effective boundaries, acceptance, and the refusal to let them live “rent free� in your head, yet the process, will also involve walking through the fears that you find in back of that anger.

Yup, it’s doin’ da work, AND the preventative maintenance that let’s us distance ourselves from being the perpetual victim. Meetings, more meetings, a sponsor and the steps. All the good stuff, and may you fill your life with it.
Jeff

Helping Myself

I am so happy you have some peace DefofLove! Remind yourself of your words here when the anger strikes again. You are a wonderful person and I believe you are moving in the right direction. ((((((((DefofLove)))))))))

smoke gets in my eyes

:thumb

DefofLov

Thanx so much, I really like where I am at with all of this right now and I will pray every night to stay here. God has been and will continue to guide me.

Blessing and Peace to all,

~Def

Crazy Mary

Def,

Your message made me smile, and I needed that... Thank you so much for sharing...

CM