quack quack quack
lol
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
We both work. We have easy jobs. He likes to say... my job is so stressful! I ask him how bad it is watching inmates sleep and count heads?! His job was stressful on 2-10pm but midnight... Its NOT!
Me... I sit at a desk for 12 hours, do a round every 2 hours n I'm online.
Me... I sit at a desk for 12 hours, do a round every 2 hours n I'm online.
box of chocolates
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Omgsh so what does ah do when someone tells him they remember him at a bar even though he doesnt remember at all?
Yup he goes to the bar....there right now blowing money he was just complaining about before he left....
Yup he goes to the bar....there right now blowing money he was just complaining about before he left....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by thislonelygirl 
I too had to to shut him up...I even give him massages lol....if I relax him enough hell crash then im like finally!! A break!! Kind of like getting a baby to sleep lol
Frustrating ....I dont climb mountains but pretty tired from a energetic toddler plus the emotional drain alone listening to them makes you want to clock out.
Frustrating ....I dont climb mountains but pretty tired from a energetic toddler plus the emotional drain alone listening to them makes you want to clock out.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
This will never get any better or be any different you know? It will be more of the same, and probably get worse because more money will be spent, more deterioration in demeanor, more difficulty keeping up with anything but the drinking.
Do you ladies go to al-anon or counseling or anything? I didn't start any kind of recovery until after I decided to leave and I regret that. I wish I would have much sooner because as time marched on I became so unhappy and lost. It (as in myself not him and his drinking) got worse and worse. There was no joy. None.
Do you ladies go to al-anon or counseling or anything? I didn't start any kind of recovery until after I decided to leave and I regret that. I wish I would have much sooner because as time marched on I became so unhappy and lost. It (as in myself not him and his drinking) got worse and worse. There was no joy. None.
box of chocolates
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Yup twins! We seem to be the responsible ones when it comes to their egos abd normal act I vites.
Wish I could get a break....sadly that happens when hes either passed ouf or hes dissappeared all day night.
Too bad they cant be like this like we are wiyh them
Wish I could get a break....sadly that happens when hes either passed ouf or hes dissappeared all day night.
Too bad they cant be like this like we are wiyh them
box of chocolates
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Originally Posted by Thumper
This will never get any better or be any different you know? It will be more of the same, and probably get worse because more money will be spent, more deterioration in demeanor, more difficulty keeping up with anything but the drinking.
Do you ladies go to al-anon or counseling or anything? I didn't start any kind of recovery until after I decided to leave and I regret that. I wish I would have much sooner because as time marched on I became so unhappy and lost. It (as in myself not him and his drinking) got worse and worse. There was no joy. None.
Do you ladies go to al-anon or counseling or anything? I didn't start any kind of recovery until after I decided to leave and I regret that. I wish I would have much sooner because as time marched on I became so unhappy and lost. It (as in myself not him and his drinking) got worse and worse. There was no joy. None.
I have thought ....this is only just going to get worse until theres nothing to fix and im just done.
What a sad day thatll be....I can just feel it.
Hes not taking initiative to correct his problem and I cant do it for him.
So where does that leave me or should I say us as we are in the same drunken boat?
Without gas and wanting to get off
box of chocolates
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Just now I finally called ah I knew where he was . At the bar. He had his friend calll me back and basically explain they are being good boys then when on the phone with ah he was cold and unemotional explaining hes being good and love you . Click.
It was like he was calling his mom....and trying not to get in trouble.
It breaks my heart but as much anger as im feelimg...im just glad. Yet sad im feelimg less of a care. Could the day im done be closer than I think?. Very much so!
It was like he was calling his mom....and trying not to get in trouble.
It breaks my heart but as much anger as im feelimg...im just glad. Yet sad im feelimg less of a care. Could the day im done be closer than I think?. Very much so!
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Well, what is your plan? How long are you going to sit on the sideline, watch him drink, and wait for him to decide to go to outpatient...or whatever...his most recent verbal appeasement to you was?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 490
Originally Posted by SparkleKitty
... it took several months of figuring out that not a thing I did or said made a difference when he was up for an argument. He would have it, no matter what I came back with. Arguing was just another stimulant to stave off dealing with himself. By disengaging I pulled the plug on that DOC and he hated it. Ah well.
When I disengaged, he would start to yell and shout at me about how I didn't care about the state of the world or politics or ANYTHING. I did, I do, I simply chose not to engage with an abusive drunk who was looking for a fight.
He used to sit here in front of the television saying sexist, nasty, mean things about the women on TV hoping (I believe) for me to react just so he could argue with me.
In the beginning of our relationship I used to admire houses, homes, gardens etc. Id say: "Look at that beautiful house, garden etc" and he would (I thought it was a joke back then) say "I hate it. It's f&cking ugly" and we would both laugh because it was a joke, right? BUT, the more he drank and used drugs, the more that "joke" became a frightening reality. If I said it was Friday he would argue that it was Saturday and if it wasn't Saturday then it ought to be Saturday and d@mn it, he would make it feel like Saturday by not going to work and getting drunk and wasted.
If we argued it always got UGLY. He would try to provoke arguments as an excuse to get wasted and blame it on me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 490
Originally Posted by thislonelygirl
You know sonetimes that works but a few times it hadnt...tried taking a walk or going to bed just to get followed around. I wish I could just go to sleep....on his too many drinks night where he wont sleep. He wont let me ....just talks talks talks
You do realize that depriving you of sleep is abusive?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 490
Originally Posted by thislonelygirl
I too had to to shut him up...I even give him massages lol....if I relax him enough hell crash then im like finally!! A break!! Kind of like getting a baby to sleep lol
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 577
dang, you ladies need to get out. They don't have ANY reason to change while you put up with their s**t. I know easier said than done, but really, they ain't gonna change if you massage them to sleep. That sounds like a spa.....why change?
box of chocolates
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Originally Posted by Lulu39
How does that make you feel? Just reading it makes me feel dirty and cheapened.
I go from fighting with a 2 yr old to get to bed to fighting with a grown man to get to bed.
Then I dont get indication that im appreciate. So yea...
Sad.
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