want to cry
box of chocolates
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
want to cry
I LOVE the hollidays but this year im so stressed. just Paid a hefty debt sum that went to collections, have to buy a new cell phone since mine is broken, have to buy a x mas tree since ours was destroyed in the move last yr, gifts to buy for christmas, a birthday for a family member , another birthday celebration for my son, more money gone to fixing the home,normal bills and then family problems.
I got about 3 hours of sleep last night thanks to my toddler which doesnt help and its a few weeks till christmas and i hate last minute shopping but its looking more and more like thats what itll come down to and ontop of that im still struggling a little with ah and his compulsive lying and drinking.
not coomunicationg and financial "ideas"
oh boy .....usually im so syked for christmas. i love to decorate...get my kids gifts, get into the spirit and cook but im just not this year.
I put most of our financial problems on ah....he neglects to talk about things...doesnt want to hear what i have to say when it comes to decision making and then has splurged either because hes drinking or has drank.
talking to ah earlier i really felt like acting like a drama queen, crying kicking...etc. i know its stupid but im trying not to break down,
I got about 3 hours of sleep last night thanks to my toddler which doesnt help and its a few weeks till christmas and i hate last minute shopping but its looking more and more like thats what itll come down to and ontop of that im still struggling a little with ah and his compulsive lying and drinking.
not coomunicationg and financial "ideas"
oh boy .....usually im so syked for christmas. i love to decorate...get my kids gifts, get into the spirit and cook but im just not this year.
I put most of our financial problems on ah....he neglects to talk about things...doesnt want to hear what i have to say when it comes to decision making and then has splurged either because hes drinking or has drank.
talking to ah earlier i really felt like acting like a drama queen, crying kicking...etc. i know its stupid but im trying not to break down,
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Try to take things one at a time, and know that you don't need to spend a lot of money to have a Merry Christmas! Bargain hunt for what you need - don't hesitate to check out second hand stores and flea markets. I've found some cool items for just a few bucks...even Christmas stuff!
Breathe, don't get too ahead of yourself, and make sure to get as much rest as possible. It helps to get a good nights sleep!
Prayers for calm,
~T
Breathe, don't get too ahead of yourself, and make sure to get as much rest as possible. It helps to get a good nights sleep!
Prayers for calm,
~T
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,423
Hang in there lonelygirl, hugs.
Christmas can be stressful on finances, I usually strike that most years.
This year the adults have agreed to 1 present of $20 which is a relief as I have 2 kids to buy for & Santa too.
Keep posting, we are here for you.
Christmas can be stressful on finances, I usually strike that most years.
This year the adults have agreed to 1 present of $20 which is a relief as I have 2 kids to buy for & Santa too.
Keep posting, we are here for you.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Just wanted to send you some cyber hugs 
I agree that Christmas is stressful under the BEST of conditions, so take it easy on yourself.
A few years back it all really 'got' to me so I threw in the towel on the holidays
and decided to scale it back to what I could handle vs. trying to be the hero & do it all.
I skipped a big formal tree & only put up our ceramic lighted one, downsized our gift list by removing all the adults & focusing on the kids instead. I cut down my baking & instead of worrying about having cookies for everyone I worried about enjoying spending time with the kids making just a few batches for our immediate family to enjoy. I told friends that I wasn't into doing gift exchanges but that I was totally open to turning it into quality time spent together & with our kids instead. It was a win-win because we ended up doing a lot more activities & it kept me & DD busy & out of the house enjoying the season. We went driving around looking at decorations, hosted a gingerbread house decorating party for her friends (everyone brought their own kit & I provided some extras), took them for train rides & Santa visits.
I got to breathe a lot more that year & I needed it... AH was in full-on active drinking mode & I didn't have the energy or resources to keep doing the holiday the same way we'd always done in the past.
I agree that Christmas is stressful under the BEST of conditions, so take it easy on yourself. A few years back it all really 'got' to me so I threw in the towel on the holidays
and decided to scale it back to what I could handle vs. trying to be the hero & do it all. I skipped a big formal tree & only put up our ceramic lighted one, downsized our gift list by removing all the adults & focusing on the kids instead. I cut down my baking & instead of worrying about having cookies for everyone I worried about enjoying spending time with the kids making just a few batches for our immediate family to enjoy. I told friends that I wasn't into doing gift exchanges but that I was totally open to turning it into quality time spent together & with our kids instead. It was a win-win because we ended up doing a lot more activities & it kept me & DD busy & out of the house enjoying the season. We went driving around looking at decorations, hosted a gingerbread house decorating party for her friends (everyone brought their own kit & I provided some extras), took them for train rides & Santa visits.
I got to breathe a lot more that year & I needed it... AH was in full-on active drinking mode & I didn't have the energy or resources to keep doing the holiday the same way we'd always done in the past.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The beautiful Midwest
Posts: 202
Hi Lonely girl
I haven't been on this site in awhile myself.... but I can tell you what I personally have done at holidays (and still do).....to keep myself somewhat sane. Trust me, I feel your pain about the holidays being hectic and stressful...and when there's just not enough money to go around, we have to do what we have to do. Make yourself a priority list and take one thing at a time. Figure out what is MOST important to get done on a short budget (or no budget, like I always call it) Maybe this year you can go out to the woods somewhere with your kids and cut down your own Charlie Brown Christmas tree....? That could be made into a really fun outing for you and your kids. Then, have an ornament making party with the kids...string up popcorn for garland, homemade ornaments etc... .or possibly check Goodwill stores or thrift stores. You'd be surprised what you can find for cheap. A matter of fact, tomorrow (Saturday, Dec 1st) is 50% off everything at ALL Goodwill stores in the U.S.
Secondly... you can always pick up a cheap phone at the Dollar Store or somewhere until the holidays are over and finances are so crunched.
Just some ideas to try and help you feel better.
Keep your chin up and remember the reason for the season.
Hugs
I haven't been on this site in awhile myself.... but I can tell you what I personally have done at holidays (and still do).....to keep myself somewhat sane. Trust me, I feel your pain about the holidays being hectic and stressful...and when there's just not enough money to go around, we have to do what we have to do. Make yourself a priority list and take one thing at a time. Figure out what is MOST important to get done on a short budget (or no budget, like I always call it) Maybe this year you can go out to the woods somewhere with your kids and cut down your own Charlie Brown Christmas tree....? That could be made into a really fun outing for you and your kids. Then, have an ornament making party with the kids...string up popcorn for garland, homemade ornaments etc... .or possibly check Goodwill stores or thrift stores. You'd be surprised what you can find for cheap. A matter of fact, tomorrow (Saturday, Dec 1st) is 50% off everything at ALL Goodwill stores in the U.S.
Secondly... you can always pick up a cheap phone at the Dollar Store or somewhere until the holidays are over and finances are so crunched.
Just some ideas to try and help you feel better.
Keep your chin up and remember the reason for the season.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 350
Handmade "gift certificates" sometimes can be a good gift. My mom always baked special things for family gifts instead of shopping. (but she likes to bake - for me, that would just add a TON of stress) I love the idea above about having a special outing instead of gift-giving. Your library probably has craft books - you and the kids could make simple ornaments to give as gifts. That's win-win. You're spending good time with the kids making holiday memories while making gifts for family.
Another thing is maybe it would be okay to lighten up on yourself a bit about how you feel. This has been an awful year for you - how in the world would you be able to flip a switch and be Ms. Happy Holidays?? It's okay to scale it back for all the reasons you mentioned. Nothing is carved in stone about how to celebrate the holidays.
Another thing is maybe it would be okay to lighten up on yourself a bit about how you feel. This has been an awful year for you - how in the world would you be able to flip a switch and be Ms. Happy Holidays?? It's okay to scale it back for all the reasons you mentioned. Nothing is carved in stone about how to celebrate the holidays.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 378
I really think that for 'most' people the Holidays - suck! 
And insane amount of emotional and physical pressure that almost no one can live up to. Expectations are huge - I'm always the most thankful January 2nd. It's OVER.
I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time, love yourself. Take it easy. Lower the expectations and just focus on love. The rest doesn't matter anyway . . .
And insane amount of emotional and physical pressure that almost no one can live up to. Expectations are huge - I'm always the most thankful January 2nd. It's OVER.
I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time, love yourself. Take it easy. Lower the expectations and just focus on love. The rest doesn't matter anyway . . .
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 696
Thinking, just thinking.....does your family really need all of those gifts/birthday?
Maybe, just maybe...you need to be honest and tell them you cant afford it this year
I know for me, PRIDE, got in my way.....during the holidays after my XAH left me
It hurt, it sucked and it was very depressing not being able to buy gifts for
my family and kids
This year, Im okay with it.....Ive learned to be honest...Momma cant afford gifts!
This year, things are simple, GRATITUDE and THANKFUL, my kids are alive
and healthy. Had to go back to the basics.....Love is the greatest gift of all
And the dollar stores and 2nd hand stores, have some pretty cool things
Keep your chin up....Tomorrow is a new day
Maybe, just maybe...you need to be honest and tell them you cant afford it this year
I know for me, PRIDE, got in my way.....during the holidays after my XAH left me
It hurt, it sucked and it was very depressing not being able to buy gifts for
my family and kids
This year, Im okay with it.....Ive learned to be honest...Momma cant afford gifts!
This year, things are simple, GRATITUDE and THANKFUL, my kids are alive
and healthy. Had to go back to the basics.....Love is the greatest gift of all
And the dollar stores and 2nd hand stores, have some pretty cool things
Keep your chin up....Tomorrow is a new day
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 336
Hi - I am sorry u feel stressed. I have grown up kids . My advice to you is just take a few moments when you can to just be aware, watch them and enjoy them. My son is 20 now and I remember something an old lady said years ago. She said when the baby cries pick him up and hug him because people used to tell me not to spoil my son by picking him up too much, but now he's all grown up and I wish I'd picked him up more, cos they are only small for such a short short while. When all this blows over - and it will - all you have of the time with your kids are your memories. If you don't already go to alanon, learn to be a family with your kids regardless of what the alcoholic does. Been there, big hugs to you.
Just a thought. When my daughter was about 4 years old one we were so broke and cud not afford a tree at xmas. I got an old log and we decorated it with bits of paper we had cut into shapes and coloured in, but I felt like a pretty crap mum. Well imagine my surprise nearly 20 years later when i heard her boyfriend was running around trying to recreate 'HER XMAS TREE LOG!! - cos it was one of her best xmas memories??! LOL!
Just a thought. When my daughter was about 4 years old one we were so broke and cud not afford a tree at xmas. I got an old log and we decorated it with bits of paper we had cut into shapes and coloured in, but I felt like a pretty crap mum. Well imagine my surprise nearly 20 years later when i heard her boyfriend was running around trying to recreate 'HER XMAS TREE LOG!! - cos it was one of her best xmas memories??! LOL!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: NSW, Australia
Posts: 197
Just a thought. When my daughter was about 4 years old one we were so broke and cud not afford a tree at xmas. I got an old log and we decorated it with bits of paper we had cut into shapes and coloured in, but I felt like a pretty crap mum. Well imagine my surprise nearly 20 years later when i heard her boyfriend was running around trying to recreate 'HER XMAS TREE LOG!! - cos it was one of her best xmas memories??! LOL!
Awww ... I LOVE this
Beautiful
Awww ... I LOVE this
Beautiful
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