Lulu39

Because so many stupid things happen and I have no-one to tell, no-one who gets it anyway. I'll go again:

Here's another vent.

After the "carrot conversation" last night he topped himself up with a couple more bongs and a few more BIG glasses of wineinabox.

I could tell then that he was planning on faking being sick for work today, which he did. It is probably pretty difficult to get up for work 4 hours after one's last drink when one has been drinking and drugging for 16 hours straight.

I made one feeble attempt to wake him up for work - I used to make several and get louder and louder and louder, I have given up. If he doesn't have a job it will be his problem because he is going. There was no response whatsoever to my attempt to wake him up. I got ready and went, the kids went to school. I left him unconscious.

Or so I thought...

I checked the outgoing phone calls made from the phone in my home that I pay for today (both the phone and the home). Turns out that when I was IN THE SHOWER and he was "unconscious" he magically became conscious and phoned his work to fake being sick!

After I was showered and dressed, I had to go into the room he was unconscious in to get a jacket I needed. He was very "unconscious".

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. He sneaked out of bed, phoned his work while I was in the shower, sneaked back to bed and feigned sleep until I left. For ***** sake! Why bother the faking? I KNOW HE IS FAKING BEING SICK BECAUSE I SAW HIM DRUNK AS A SKUNK AT 7pm, 8pm, 9pm and 10pm. I heard him drink more after I went to bed. I heard him go to smoke a bong at 3am when he slammed the door to get to his bong.

When I got home today he, again - poor chronically ill fellow, had that mysterious cold/flu that he says "everyone" has. Yet, he was tripping over his own toes as he walked around the house, issuing instructions to the fairies.

I made dinner for the kids and I and also asked if he wanted any but the poor dear was "asleep". He's asleep again now.

He tried to play solitaire on the PC tonight. He has to put one hand over his left eye when he plays so he is not seeing double/triple how many can one see when one has multiple addictions?

OhBoy

What is the deal with the fake sleeping? My AW does it all the time. I have never been able to figure that out. She'll be "sleeping" on the couch, I leave the room for 5 minutes & she is still asleep with a new full glass of whatever it is shes drinking that day. Sometimes I'll walk in the room, she'll be on the phone, end the conversation & out like a light!

But it's not spelled alcoholyc, there is no "Y" in it.

And yes, vent away!

blowfly

vent like mad my dear, its what we are here for. the advise is great but whats better is there's someone listening without turning it round to them!

laurie6781

ABSOLUTELY!!!! Vent as often and as long as you need this is a very safe place!!!!

We do understand, and no we WILL NOT turn it around on you to make you think you
are crazy.

Love and hugs,

neferkamichael

Hi Lulu, FANASTIC vent.

DesertEyes

Yes it is ok to vent. Like others said before me, that's what we are here for.

Mike
Moderator, SR

dandylion

Absolutely, it is o.k. to vent. It is often the way to get our feelings validated---to let us know that we are not "crazy"---and we are not as alone as we might think.

I do have one helpful hint: LABLE THE POST AS A VENT (so the we readers know that is your goal). Otherwise, you might get an avalance of helpful suggestions!

dandylion.

Lulu39

He's "sick" again today. At 8.30pm he announced he was going to have an early night due to his "illness". At 3.30am I got up - he was on the computer still drinking. He took himself to bed at 5.30am. I think he thinks he is in the drinking Olympics marathon.

Lulu39

When I got home from work he seemed slightly drunk. I saw him smoke a couple of bongs. He is asleep on the couch, again. I periodically check to see if he is breathing or not. Sometimes I wonder what I would do or how I would feel if I saw that his chest wasn't rising and falling..what would my reaction be...?

He is going to inspect an apartment on Saturday. It is in the same city, but very far away from us. 7 However, as he trashed his car, which still sits rotting on my front lawn 3 years after he drove it home drunk after quitting yet another job, he will not have transport to visit us regularly . He reminded me that this means he will not be able to come over here to mow the lawn, take out the garbage, make dinner or make the kids sandwiches...all I said was "Yes".

JenT1968

wow, the things we forget:

things I don't miss include running the water out of a full bath he has passed out in so that he doesn't drown.
worrying myself sick about his sleep apnoea cycles: his chest heaving up and down desperately and fruitlessly trying to pull air through a collapsed tube until lack of air caused him to rouse enough for the tube to puff out again and he was able to breath, then 10 mins later back descending into the same cycles again. The first few years laying awake to prod him into moving, to ensure he could breathe, and begging him to go to the docs, later realising that at some point I fell asleep each time this happened, so he must be rousing himself somehow, and then finally, exhausted, after years, letting go of trying to control this consequence.

I sleep like a very tired log now, peacefully, and within moments of my head hitting the pillow. he either still has sleep apnoea or doesn't, not my business.

you're doing great (()), I've a feeling, tough though it will be, you'll be able to cobble together some way of making those sandwiches without him

scacra1

What is it with drunks and baths?? My AH at one point could regularly be found in the bath asleep, well intoxicated. Seemed to be his favourite place.
My AH has been well behaved for a while, but the last few times involved, being found passed out on the front door step, collapsed in the TV room covered in his own urine or asleep in the bed covered in urine.

Lulu39

My STBXAH has not showered or bathed since Friday. It is now Tuesday evening here. The stench coming from his skin is enough to make anyone drunk.

I have bought brand new linen for my bed but am not going to use it until he is gone. I've had it hidden for a couple of months now. He is taking the mattress with him when he goes, although he doesn't know that yet.

Hypatia

So he's finally getting his own apartment? Might I suggest a carrot cake as one last and final housewarming gift?

scacra1

MY AH used to permanently smell like he had just downed a full bottle of wine, even when he hadn't. Its as if the alcohol was permanently leaving his system via his breath (which it probably was) he also used to sweat profusely, another way i assume of the alcohol trying to escape his system.
what is the smell coming from your AH?.. just for future reference!
By the way... i wish you very joy for the future that you so rightly deserve.