happyending

Sitting in my new place (very pretty), alone and miserable (although I know my decision to divorce and leave him is healthy)...advice for this transition, please )

Daydream41

Hi. I am new here too. You are very courageous to leave. Try to remember that when you are lonely. Good luck

mmk11

I have no wisdom to offer, other than to take care of yourself. Decorate your new home, invite friends over, read, enjoy an anxiety and alcoholic-free home.

I'm in a similar situation with my separated AH. I didn't realize, or failed to acknowledge, just how anxious the home was, whether I was anxious about going home, him coming home, or the incessant and unproductive fights for 6+ weeks. It wasn't till after he was gone I made regular plans to see my friends, join sports leagues, read, sit outside, workout. I was focused on him so much i lost myself. But I am finding myself again. Take the support offered by friends and family, ask for support if you need it, see a counselor if you think it woukd be beneficial. Of course I have my sad moments, or days at times. Those times are inevitable, but they do pass.

Anon12

I'm in similar situation - we weren't married but together nearly six years. It's been two months and i go through phases when I remember the anxiety I used to feel and other times I just feel sad. Talking to a counsellor really helps me. So does doing things that increase endorphins so walking or going to a gym class.

Come here and read/post. Many people here are going through the same thing at the same time and I take comfort in that.

sweetteewalls

I'm in same situation...nothing has been filed but it needs to be. Right now just focus on you...what makes you happy! Especially the things you could not do with him...biggest advice, be patient with yourself. There are waves of emotions, stay here posting, keep connected with your support system to help you navigate through the rough and lonely nights. Prayers to you for a peaceful healing of your heart.

happyending

I can feel the relief of not living with him. I don't wonder when he'll come home from work in the evenings, don't wonder what crud he's watching on TV when I hit the sack, don't worry about whom he's texting late into the night. (I learned over the years that alcoholics have OTHER addictions in addition to the alcohol.)

Why do I even consider that being with him would be more tolerable than being here, alone?? Pitiful, obviously an indication of my codependence!

Thanks for your support. In my attempt to take better care of myself I'm going to stop here and get good sleep (I work early tomorrow). I have so much to say, feel so many conflicting things. I'll revisit this later.

Goodnight, family and friends of addicts!