nearing a week
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 451
nearing a week
tomorrow it will be a full week since the split. I am feeling just relieved. The feeling sorry and guilt for leaving him and turning him in to the police for choking me is going, going, going
I am finding forgiveness, forgiveness in that he wasted five years of my life leaving me with nothing but bad memories. When I split with my previous husband of 13 years, there were good memories and it was sad and painful but not like this. This relationship has been filled with nothing but pain, never any true love or compassion, nothing but addiction and its ugly face, addiction and its horrible manipulations of all involved.
I feel like, I will get passed this now. The first few days I was really confused, still pulled into the cycle. The restraining order has helped greatly. I can NOT communicate with him, or he with I. Thank the Lord up in Heaven. He truly knew what I needed to get me out of this situation and sent in the calvary. I will keep strong and on top of things, because at this point it is a battle for my son. I am not going to over worry about it, but I will remain vigilant.
I will be leaning on my friends in SR and trying to give my own experience, strength and hope to those who are on the other side of this sad story of alcoholism. Geeeee, it feels much better on this side of the fence.
I am finding forgiveness, forgiveness in that he wasted five years of my life leaving me with nothing but bad memories. When I split with my previous husband of 13 years, there were good memories and it was sad and painful but not like this. This relationship has been filled with nothing but pain, never any true love or compassion, nothing but addiction and its ugly face, addiction and its horrible manipulations of all involved.
I feel like, I will get passed this now. The first few days I was really confused, still pulled into the cycle. The restraining order has helped greatly. I can NOT communicate with him, or he with I. Thank the Lord up in Heaven. He truly knew what I needed to get me out of this situation and sent in the calvary. I will keep strong and on top of things, because at this point it is a battle for my son. I am not going to over worry about it, but I will remain vigilant.
I will be leaning on my friends in SR and trying to give my own experience, strength and hope to those who are on the other side of this sad story of alcoholism. Geeeee, it feels much better on this side of the fence.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Short of a 5 min conversation, I haven't talked to my husband since April 28th. I think about him every day, but its with the wistful fondness of a dream never realized.
It gets easier each day.
Stay strong!
~T
It gets easier each day.
Stay strong!
~T
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: SAN FRANCISCO
Posts: 1,176
Congrads - I know the feeling!
I have been relieved myself but I do find myself backsliding into anxiety, fear and loneliness at times. I agree the SR forum has helped a lot and I'm confident I made the right decision, though it has been tough.
Hope you continue to feel great!
I have been relieved myself but I do find myself backsliding into anxiety, fear and loneliness at times. I agree the SR forum has helped a lot and I'm confident I made the right decision, though it has been tough.
Hope you continue to feel great!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 317
I want to get to where you are. I want to be on the other side of this already. Right now it is so hard to see the light at the end of this tunnel when all I feel is pain. I read your post and it gives me hope.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
The first days/weeks were the worst
To me its like 3 ? years later... I don't know.. I am losing count
LIFE GETS SO MUCH BETTER IN WAYS YOU CAN'T IMAGINE NOW.
And I would not trade my tranquil night for anything in the world.
One step at a time!!! One day/hour/minute at a time...
"Life rewards the brave" I truly believe that ...
To me its like 3 ? years later... I don't know.. I am losing count
LIFE GETS SO MUCH BETTER IN WAYS YOU CAN'T IMAGINE NOW.
And I would not trade my tranquil night for anything in the world.
One step at a time!!! One day/hour/minute at a time...
"Life rewards the brave" I truly believe that ...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 451
sweeteewalls,
getting past the guilt is what was the hardest step for me. guilt that I am leaving or left someone I once loved and am leaving to drown in his own consequences. Sadness that I am leaving him to fend for himself in this big grown-up world.
Now that it is done, i am feeling better, but I can't even begin to say I am whole. I can finally see that I CAN BECOME whole and happy again. This disease has ravaged my soul like no other time in my life. I left a 13 year relationship in which I was married with assets, bank accounts, friends, family whom I loved on his side, and it was never this hard for even a minute.
Only you can take the first step forward for YOUR happiness. I know it sounds cheesy and cliche, but it is the truth. I gave my XA 10,001 chances to take that leap and he did NOT want to take it. He thought that I would just always stay and put up with his crap, because I had been programmed, guilted and manipulated into it. I saw the writing on the wall and I took that leap of faith for myself
getting past the guilt is what was the hardest step for me. guilt that I am leaving or left someone I once loved and am leaving to drown in his own consequences. Sadness that I am leaving him to fend for himself in this big grown-up world.
Now that it is done, i am feeling better, but I can't even begin to say I am whole. I can finally see that I CAN BECOME whole and happy again. This disease has ravaged my soul like no other time in my life. I left a 13 year relationship in which I was married with assets, bank accounts, friends, family whom I loved on his side, and it was never this hard for even a minute.
Only you can take the first step forward for YOUR happiness. I know it sounds cheesy and cliche, but it is the truth. I gave my XA 10,001 chances to take that leap and he did NOT want to take it. He thought that I would just always stay and put up with his crap, because I had been programmed, guilted and manipulated into it. I saw the writing on the wall and I took that leap of faith for myself
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 160
You did the right thing. Too often people stay wallowing in misery for this undying love and devotion to the alcoholic and get by with anonymous meetings and three c's contrite sayings and stay with the dysfunction. OR you can leave and regain your sanity.
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