Alucard

1. No more alcoholics.....I will from this point on (And I am in no wayyy ready to date or even deal with women at this point, I have too much work I need to do on myself after this disasterous summer. Therapists, Doctors, attorneys, work outs, rides, processing and writing, all help.) SCREEN any potential woman I am going to date for signs of alcoholism.

2. Once we get serious, I need to see that she is into me, not into others that she places above me. Too often with the alcoholic, I felt as if I was "2nd tier" to her repulsive looking fem-pal from jail, who the moderators warned me twice about for describing it as it really is. I felt I was 2nd tier compared to her druggie pals from the past, and really, anyone from her past, the oath was "forsake all others" not "place on 2nd tier status"

3. Do some basic background work on any potential girlfriend. She is welcome to do so with me. I need complete and absolute HONESTY from anyone I am going to get close to at this point.

4. Compatibility. Unfortunatley, with the alcoholic, there was only an intersest in drinking herself to inebriation on a daily basis, and sitting on a couch at 230am watching someone drink is to me as about exciting as watching paint dry. I had no interest in the 11-3am drunken house parties (in my 40's???) zero interest in the seemingly endless and boring @$$ "cruising" listening to irritating hip hop crap, or watching her and her laughably unattractive alcoholic galpal drinking beer and shots on a nightly basis. I am a "casual" or social drinker, I like a glass of beer after a shift, or on the weekend, not at 10am. A trip to the liquor store in the bad neighborhood was not the highlight of the day for me.

I enjoy riding my motorcycle, in fact myself, my cousin and my Uncle are hitting the highway after breakfast Saturday AM....We are all planning a weekend trip to a bike rally here in the State in a couple of months.....I enjoy kareokee at a local resturant on Saturday nights. I love to work out....In the summer I love the concert series, I like to watch a boxing or UFC PPV at the pub, or at someone's house, I like to vacation or now in the fall I will totally get into my criminology classes, at the University.....there is a life beyond the alcoholic and I am going to embrace it, and leave her to her ulcers, her morning tremors, her hair falling out in clumps, the malnourishment from refusing solid foods, her extended stomach, her painful left side of her abdomen, the morning nausea, her stress and anxiety from two warrants in two counties, and all her problems that have come from her addictions. Good luck and riddance.

MsPINKAcres

wishing you the very best on your journey to a healthier you!

PINK HUGS,
Rita

Tuffgirl

Yes, there is life waiting beyond this. I too have been enjoying getting back into the things I enjoyed and gave up, or trying new things I had wanted to do but...well...felt I couldn't. I thoroughly enjoy the friends I have made along the way - friends that "weren't appropriate for a wife to have" and treasure them dearly.

And you live in Santa Fe - the coolest place in the desert southwest, in my humble opinion. Spent a lot of time there...I think its a magical place. Enjoy! Especially on a motorcycle...I am envious! ; )

m1k3

It is good that forsaken the dark side you have.

Sorry, I was channeling Yoda there but the sentiments count.

Your friend,

EnglishGarden

Mike.

Alucard,
Yes, me too, if I meet anyone "from scratch" so to speak, I plan to do a background check on a website that for a fee will check criminal history, arrests, bankruptcy. As Cat Stevens says, "....it's a wild world....hard to get by just upon a smile."

ShootingStar1

Alucard, great for you!! I can see you on that motorcycle, roaring down the open highway, with nothing ahead but freedom, freedom, and freedom!

And perhaps, quite a bit of wisdom as well. You have quickly taken such important lessons from your experience, and you have articulated them well for the rest of us.

Keep posting, you're an inspiration,

BothSidesNow

outtolunch

The only victim here is the 8 year old.

SoBroken

Hello Alucard. im new here. urs was the 1st thread i read. its like u were writing my story. thanks 4 sharing-i dont feel quite so alone 2nite. oh to have ur strength n courage.

soberbrooke

I was that person for 27 years, and now have "gotten it" through AA. Something I have learned though is the power of forgiveness. Pray for her you might be the only one. Pray for her to find sobriety, and to find herself. You don't have to like her anymore, but just pray for her. I might not have made it if my mom wasn't praying for me. Her mom might not know about her addiction. I have 7 months and I am grateful for that. You might have hated living with her, but I can tell you from experience that I hated living in my own skin. I hated feeling that way. I felt so disconnected, and awful. I screwed up a few really good relationships because of drinking. I hated myself every time I drank. If I didn't have people praying for me I might not have made it.
I have been praying for my ex to get sober, and it took away a lot of my anger towards him. It is making it easier to deal with him.

You might be the only one who knows to what extent her drinking is, the power of prayer and forgiveness is strong.

Alucard

I wish the alcoholic no ill....however at the pace she has set, her next stop is possibly the penitentiary, or if she can avoid arrest, at the rate she drinks the boneyard is another possibility. I have no forgiveness to offer her. Only a stone cold indifference.

Alucard

Thank you. I dont know if it was that as much as it was a complete "no tolerance" attitude after 4 weeks of frustrating anxiety, stress and boredom. I saw a pitiful future for myself and my kid ahead. If she wants to drink herself to death because her life is in shambles because of decisions SHE HERSELF has made her entire life, of wanting to embrace a certain "hood" mentality, that is her decision and hers alone. I truly and honestly hope for someday, a normal and decent woman I can grow old with and have some fun times with on the way, with her, it was a descent into madness. My own sanity was at stake with all the stress, tension and the wierd and surreal everpresent sense of impending doom that surrounds her at all times.

painfully

That is a lovely sentiment. I have tried so many times to do just that. I try to pray for the people who have hurt me. Trying, but not always successful.