wellnowwhat

She threatened you with harm, you are wise to take steps by calling the police to report her and protect yourself.

She threatens suicide when things don't go her way. You have alerted the police of this in a general way. If she provides a more specific threat, you can alert an emergency response team.

In neither situation is it up to you to try and decide whether her threat is something she will carry out.

She has chosen this route, you have responded appropriately. These are consequences of her choices and she has set these consequences in motion.

(And for the record, you aren't causing her to lose her job or license. It is a combination of her prior actions that put her on review plus her current actions that took place while knowing full well what the outcome may be.

I heard it said here "not my circus, not my monkey". I think this applies for you here!)

Sorry for what you are going through.

marie1960

KRA,

You did what you had to do.

All you can do is step back and let the process unfold.

A couple of years ago I had a coworker in a situation, similiar to yours. She also did not want the guy prosecuted, well when it came time, they kind of forced her hand. She either complied with the facts of her statement, or they were going to charge her with filing a false police report. Come to find out, this guy was not who he said he was, and he had a criminal past, this was the opportunity they need to nail him.......

It's pretty much out of your hands now, it is what it is......... just breathe.
Keep posting, this too shall pass. take care now.

SixStringZen

With all due respect, your misplacing the blame here....you're upset with the police instead of your loved one...
The police are following up on your complaint....more people would be upset if cops didn't follow up on complaints...they're doing exactly what they're supposed to do....
Take care of yourself...

Jad3d

KRA,

I am so sorry you are feeling this way - it's a tough spot to be in. My xabf has a child who lives with her mother. They live about 2 hours away from our home and it has been my car, my license which has made it possible to see her.

I knew once I took the car away, I knew once I could no longer make the 4 hour round trip, he would be unable to see his daughter. I knew that would send him into a depressed spiral. But at the end of the day, I had to protect myself. In some ways, your situation is the same.

Your xagf has threatened you and your security. You have reported her actions to protect yourself, which a) means she cannot follow through with her threat, and b) you are sending a powerful message to her: that you will not be intimidated by her and her threats, empty or not. You say you don't want her to lose her job or her license but here she is threatening to take away your livelihood.

I know you say you would feel responsible if she kills herself but I hope you know deep inside that we cannot truly ever be responsible for another person's actions. People make their own choices. All choices have consequences. If you were anyone else and she had made those threats, they would have responded in kind - would they then be responsible if she decided to kill herself?

Sometimes it's hard to protect ourselves because we care more about protecting someone else. Every now and then, it pays to remember it's important to look out for number 1.

Sending you hugs.

Cyranoak

This would be the part where she has to suffer the consequences of her behaviors and decisions. It's not your fault and you didn't "do it to her." She did it to herself.

Cyranoak