realizations.... I'm afraid
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 166
I feel better today, so I thought that I would post something positive.... a sort of pay it forward because you all have been so kind and giving with your support.
I have been reading my Al Anon book every night....... it is literally a Godsend.
Because I have stepped back and started taking care of me, "A" has been more receptive. I am doing this for me, not him but ironically I think that it is making a HUGE difference.
Back in 2002/2003? when I first starting talking to a counselor about my father's alcoholism, my counselor said that everything about my family would change (like a ripple effect) because I admitted and vocalized the family secret (I remember my mother was "nervous" when I told her that I had started therapy). My counselor was so right.
Fast forward to the present (my mother and I talked for like 2 hours last night and we talked a lot about my recovering dad) Previously this would have been a no-no, totally taboo! but my family has learned that it is a disease and there is no need to be ashamed. I like to think that I had a part of my family's change and enlightenment, but whatever, I am just glad that I have learned how to communicate better (thanks to therapy and ACOA meetings).
I am no expert and am still quite lost, but my point is, I think that things change when you stop trying to control alcohol and those that consume it. Like a ripple effect, people will see a healthy you and will either admire you and try to mimic you or they will get uncomfortable and leave (if they leave, you are better off anyways because NOTHING would have changed).
I like this Al Anon stuff. It is pretty empowering and I think that that is the key.... empower yourself and you will inadvertantly change those around you without even trying. You are stronger and more powerful than you think and you have to believe that!!
I sooooo know that I am a codependent, so I am trying not to fall into the hopeful category and repeat my previous behaviors. He is an alcoholic and I am a codependent. "A" and I both need help, but it really is a day at a time. I am trying really hard to live by that. I pray for all of you and am sending you positive vibes because life is really hard but we all are doing the best that we can.
I wish that none of us had to go through this trauma, but there is hope and that starts with us!!!!!
Love and thanks to all of you!!!!!!
I have been reading my Al Anon book every night....... it is literally a Godsend.
Because I have stepped back and started taking care of me, "A" has been more receptive. I am doing this for me, not him but ironically I think that it is making a HUGE difference.
Back in 2002/2003? when I first starting talking to a counselor about my father's alcoholism, my counselor said that everything about my family would change (like a ripple effect) because I admitted and vocalized the family secret (I remember my mother was "nervous" when I told her that I had started therapy). My counselor was so right.
Fast forward to the present (my mother and I talked for like 2 hours last night and we talked a lot about my recovering dad) Previously this would have been a no-no, totally taboo! but my family has learned that it is a disease and there is no need to be ashamed. I like to think that I had a part of my family's change and enlightenment, but whatever, I am just glad that I have learned how to communicate better (thanks to therapy and ACOA meetings).
I am no expert and am still quite lost, but my point is, I think that things change when you stop trying to control alcohol and those that consume it. Like a ripple effect, people will see a healthy you and will either admire you and try to mimic you or they will get uncomfortable and leave (if they leave, you are better off anyways because NOTHING would have changed).
I like this Al Anon stuff. It is pretty empowering and I think that that is the key.... empower yourself and you will inadvertantly change those around you without even trying. You are stronger and more powerful than you think and you have to believe that!!
I sooooo know that I am a codependent, so I am trying not to fall into the hopeful category and repeat my previous behaviors. He is an alcoholic and I am a codependent. "A" and I both need help, but it really is a day at a time. I am trying really hard to live by that. I pray for all of you and am sending you positive vibes because life is really hard but we all are doing the best that we can.
I wish that none of us had to go through this trauma, but there is hope and that starts with us!!!!!
Love and thanks to all of you!!!!!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
