sadmabel

Hi. My son is an addict and I could usesome advice. It is so hard to know what to do. He is 20.

1. My son is taking oxy but it hasn't been showing on drug tests. Even random, and blood test done while his pupils were still pinned. Anyone know why?

2. I have not told the family about this. Not grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Constantly making excuses for him not showing up places. Will the shame of letting his secret out make things worse for him, make him wanna use more?

3. He is supposed to be starting an intensive outpatient treatment program, cant get him in inpatient cause insurance wont pay due to negative drug test. Anyone have success with these? I'm not hopeful.

sugarbear1

found on a website:

"Oxycodone (OXY) is a synthetic opiate marketed as Percodan, Percocet, Roxicodone, Oxycontin, etc. Although classified as an opiate, the chemical structure and metabolite of OXY requires a separate test with a substantially higher sensitivity detection level than that of the standard opiate drug test.

Federal requirements (SAMHSA) establish 2000 ng/ml sensitivity (cut off) level for the standard opiate test and at this threshhold OXY would not be detected. OXY tests require a cut off 100 ng/ml.

Your doctor may not know this. Labs should but errors are too frequent. It sounds like this error may have occurred in your doctors office and was simply transported to the lab by submitting the wrong kit or requesting an opiate (as opposed to OXY test). This is not uncommon on the part of physicians. Review the paperwork."

another response here:

"I had a negative test too an I know how bad it makes you feel I nearly had nervous breakdown when I was acused of selling my meds I am on oxycontin 40mgs and I take 12 of them a day and mine didn't show up I was shocked these doctors out here should do research before labeling someone a supplier to the street market I found this very rediculas and seek to fight this negative outcome if you are having the same problems do some research print it all out an take it to your doctors this honestly made me very upset good luck guys also there's certain circumstances to a negative you could have a very fast metabolism or an enzyme in your body producing a negative good luck guys"

I could go on for many pages on this search I did: negative drug test for oxy

Do your own search and talk with the doctor again!
I wish you and your son well,

sadmabel

Sugarbear,

Thank you for the advice. I bet our doctor just checked for opiates. One test was done at a rehab assessment so I would think they checked for Oxy but he quit for 2 days before the assessment so that could be why it was not showing up. I will keep this in mind for the future and check with the rehab

Pelican

Welcome to the SR family!

Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed. We are here to support you.

When I first arrived here, I learned about the 3 C's of my loved ones addiction. They are:

I did not cause it
I can not control it
I will not cure it

With time, I learned to accept that concept.

You are not powerful enough to cause him to use more. He will use if the sun is shinning, he will use if there are clouds in the sky. He will use because he is an addict.

I hope you will be kind to yourself and reach out for support. Friends, family, and support groups can help you if you ask.

Here is a link to a post that helped me. This post contains steps that helped me while living with my alcoholic loved one. Here is the link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

sadmabel

Thanks Pelican.I recently learned about the 3 C's. I'm having a really hard time with control and cure.

The like you sent me was very good. I know I have to do all those things but it is hard. Istill feel the need to rescue him. He lives in my house and just lost his job yesterday. I will put gas in his car to go to outpatient treatment but will not simply give him gas money as I did before. Other than that nothing. He is looking for another job and has always worked but the piece about addicts getting help because they were out of money made me think maybe the job loss was a good thing. I just hope he doesn't do something stupid to get money. He is used to having plenty of money to support his habit and that is gone now.

anwa

I know someone who is in the same boat as your son. He has been in an intensive 18 month inpatient rehab program and another intensive outpatient program and he STILL uses. I think it'll depend on the person, timing of going to rehab and the treatment program. He still uses and is probably worse off now then before rehab. I hope your son gets the help he needs.

I understand the shame in not telling your family about his addiction. I didn't tell my family about my boyfriend's alcoholism until just recently. While their reaction is like any reaction (great concern for both me and him), they still accept him for who he is and still like him just the same. I feel as though keeping his addiction a secret is a form of enabling and I don't think you want to enable anymore than you already are. How he reacts to his family knowing his problems is HIS problem, not yours. I understand you're concerned it'll make him want to use more but as another poster said he'll use when the sun shines and when it doesn't. It'll just be another excuse to get high, at that point.

Hope things go well for you and your son!

PrayingMama

Dear sadmabel, my 21-year-old son was just discharged from medical detox two days ago (his first). He is addicted to opiates and heroin (IV). We, too, have experienced insurance issues: withdrawal not acute enough for detox, not clean enough for rehab. His father paid out of pocket for the days he spent in detox.

I sympathize with your feelings about sharing this with family members (or friends or colleagues or anyone else). I have found it empowering to speak the truth about my son's addiction because I have developed a terrible allergy to secrets, and because I believe with all my heart that the truth really will set you free.

That being said, it does not mean throwing discretion and discernment to the wind. Not everyone is a safe place to land, so to speak; not everyone needs to know. Determining what to share and with whom takes wisdom, but a good place to start is with others going through what you and your son are going through. Al-anon, Naranon, Families Anonymous meetings are invaluable and safe places to begin sorting things out in your mind and heart.

An IOP is a start, a step in the right direction. His job loss may indeed be a blessing in disguise. (There are people wiser than I am who believe everything is. I'm not spiritually evolved enough yet to remember that when things get dark, though I'm learning.)

I hope you continue reaching out for help and support--I believe it is crucial for your own health and sanity, and that can only be good for everyone else, too.

Blessings to you and your son.