Sobbing at Al-Anon Meeting
Programmaddict
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: God's Hands
Posts: 217
Ain't nothing wrong with crying, especially at a meeting as they are explicitly a safe place.
I suggest trying to be grateful you are feeling even if the feelings are intense and uncomfortable.
In my experience tears are like rain cleansing the soul. I am often envious of those who can easily release.
I suggest trying to be grateful you are feeling even if the feelings are intense and uncomfortable.
In my experience tears are like rain cleansing the soul. I am often envious of those who can easily release.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: North West, England
Posts: 500
I agree with programmatic. I'm grateful when I can cry, I've been numb for so so long and it's such a relief when I can actually feel it. There are plenty of things I can talk about as if I'm totally detached, as if it happened to someone else, but I haven't even begun to deal with them and I know I NEED to feel it before I can begin to move on.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
I cried through the entire 1st meeting, arm wrapped around the box of kleenex. Ditto on meeting 2. The third meeting I was able to talk, and that made me cry all over again. By meeting 4 I was finally feeling ok.
But on occasion, I just sit and cry. It is one place I feel the freedom and peace to sit and cry it all out, besides my own house of course. But sitting in the circle, surrounded by people who don't need to "know" what is going on - they already do - is such an amazing experience.
But on occasion, I just sit and cry. It is one place I feel the freedom and peace to sit and cry it all out, besides my own house of course. But sitting in the circle, surrounded by people who don't need to "know" what is going on - they already do - is such an amazing experience.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: California
Posts: 693
I've been going to Al anon for a year now and have seen lots of people cry at meetings. It's absolutely normal and what's great about Al Anon meetings is that everyone gets it. I sobbed through my first meeting, then cried more quietly after that. There is a reason why there's a box of kleenex sitting in the middle of the circle.
After weekly meetings for a year, I often cry when I hear a newcomer's story because it triggers so many of my own memories. And I cry during the goodbye verse because it's so beautiful. I am so grateful for Al Anon, I look forward to it each week because it's one hour when I feel like I am surrounded by people who know what I am going through.
After weekly meetings for a year, I often cry when I hear a newcomer's story because it triggers so many of my own memories. And I cry during the goodbye verse because it's so beautiful. I am so grateful for Al Anon, I look forward to it each week because it's one hour when I feel like I am surrounded by people who know what I am going through.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
I cried at my last meeting. I'm a big old grizzled ex-Marine. We were doing a fourth step meeting and we were covering "when was the last time you were truly afraid?".
I shared how for me it was about 14 months ago during my wife's last binge that I was there for. How I was looking at her crawling to get to the bathroom when it hit me that it was over. It was the end of life as I knew it. I couldn't stay, I couldn't do this again, I had to leave and I was so scared. I was 57 years old, had been married for 36 years and I was going to have to start over. How could I possibly do that?
So yeah, I cried some during that meeting and there are a few tears as I type this. But, I did it. I moved out, I'm going through with the divorce and I am in such a better place than I was a year ago. I was stronger than I thought.
Your friend,
I shared how for me it was about 14 months ago during my wife's last binge that I was there for. How I was looking at her crawling to get to the bathroom when it hit me that it was over. It was the end of life as I knew it. I couldn't stay, I couldn't do this again, I had to leave and I was so scared. I was 57 years old, had been married for 36 years and I was going to have to start over. How could I possibly do that?
So yeah, I cried some during that meeting and there are a few tears as I type this. But, I did it. I moved out, I'm going through with the divorce and I am in such a better place than I was a year ago. I was stronger than I thought.
Your friend,
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
Who doesn't?
There was a gal in a meeting with me years ago who cried the first six months, was silent the next six months, and then began sharing and doing service thereafter. When she was ready to stop crying she stopped crying, when she was ready to share she started sharing.
Remember that it's not a race, and that it'll happen at your speed, whatever "it" is, and whatever speed that is.
Sounds like you are off to a good start to me!
Take care,
Cyranoak
Remember that it's not a race, and that it'll happen at your speed, whatever "it" is, and whatever speed that is.
Sounds like you are off to a good start to me!
Take care,
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by DefofLov 
Hi Everyone!
Please tell me I'm not the only one who has done this. At my second meeting I just sobbed through half of it. We were going around the room, each person saying why they came. I thought about why I was sitting there and then it hit me. All the reasons and memories hit me. And I just cried and cried and cried.
It's just so hard to have so much addiction and alcoholism in the family. It's always been hard. But I'm trying to let go in the healthiest way possible. I'm so tired of crying.
But, I felt kinda embarrassed. I wanted to just leave, but I stayed. People were supportive, but I still felt very awkward. I will definitely go back. Just was wondering...if what I did was okay? Crying like that? In front of so many people?? I'm sure they are not new to tears, but...I dunno. I feel so lost and I'm just trying to find my way. This is how I felt about 6 or 7 years ago when I joined this board. Emotional, lost, crazy. *sigh*
Any words of advice, ESH, or hugs are greatly appreciated.
Love,
Lily
Please tell me I'm not the only one who has done this. At my second meeting I just sobbed through half of it. We were going around the room, each person saying why they came. I thought about why I was sitting there and then it hit me. All the reasons and memories hit me. And I just cried and cried and cried.
It's just so hard to have so much addiction and alcoholism in the family. It's always been hard. But I'm trying to let go in the healthiest way possible. I'm so tired of crying.
But, I felt kinda embarrassed. I wanted to just leave, but I stayed. People were supportive, but I still felt very awkward. I will definitely go back. Just was wondering...if what I did was okay? Crying like that? In front of so many people?? I'm sure they are not new to tears, but...I dunno. I feel so lost and I'm just trying to find my way. This is how I felt about 6 or 7 years ago when I joined this board. Emotional, lost, crazy. *sigh*
Any words of advice, ESH, or hugs are greatly appreciated.
Love,
Lily
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hey there Def 
Yeah, I cried too. And I'm not the crying type. Guys don't cry, you know?
* must have been all the moisture from my man-cave that got in my eyes, yeah, that's it *
Just so you know the kind of guy I am, over the years I have sponsored cops, navy seals, a monster biker dude, and various other misfits. I even date tough women, my last relationship was with a Marine / biker-chick whose nickname was "Lara Croft".
If I can cry, anybody can cry
And all those macho types I have sponsored, they cried too. It has something to do with being human
Mike
Yeah, I cried too. And I'm not the crying type. Guys don't cry, you know?
* must have been all the moisture from my man-cave that got in my eyes, yeah, that's it *
Just so you know the kind of guy I am, over the years I have sponsored cops, navy seals, a monster biker dude, and various other misfits. I even date tough women, my last relationship was with a Marine / biker-chick whose nickname was "Lara Croft".
If I can cry, anybody can cry
And all those macho types I have sponsored, they cried too. It has something to do with being human
Mike
Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Originally Posted by Sanity2012
I can so relate. I have been going a couple of months, and stopped for 2 weeks because that is all I did was cry. Let the hurt out. It does not do any good kept inside.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 82
If you have met someone in the group that you feel connected to, let them know what you are going through. Sit next to them if it helps. It took me a bit and now they are my silent cheerleader. If you haven't met them yet. You will. I am a newbie to it all, but each time I feel so much better (even if I cry). Kleenex is cheap, this pain costs so much more.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 82
They say when you cry, you release all the bad toxins inside you. They also say, garbage in, garbage out. You can only stuff your feelings so much before they flow out over the edges. I have been going to Al-anon for almost 2 months. I have yet to be able to go through a meeting without crying. I am glad to see from everyone's posts we are not alone!
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