DefofLov

Hi Everyone!

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has done this. At my second meeting I just sobbed through half of it. We were going around the room, each person saying why they came. I thought about why I was sitting there and then it hit me. All the reasons and memories hit me. And I just cried and cried and cried.

It's just so hard to have so much addiction and alcoholism in the family. It's always been hard. But I'm trying to let go in the healthiest way possible. I'm so tired of crying.

But, I felt kinda embarrassed. I wanted to just leave, but I stayed. People were supportive, but I still felt very awkward. I will definitely go back. Just was wondering...if what I did was okay? Crying like that? In front of so many people?? I'm sure they are not new to tears, but...I dunno. I feel so lost and I'm just trying to find my way. This is how I felt about 6 or 7 years ago when I joined this board. Emotional, lost, crazy. *sigh*

Any words of advice, ESH, or hugs are greatly appreciated.

Love,

Lily

AlreadyAlone

Oh boy did I cry in my first meeting back in April. I cried that whole day at work, and when I had the evening free, I realized I needed support, so that's what actually got my butt to the meeting.

I started off okay, looking scared I'm sure, then weeping, dabbing with tissues, more sobbing, but I didn't speak during the meeting. One girl spoke and cried, saying she was having a lousy day and apologized for crying. I took that moment to look around and at least 5 of the 40 were also in tears. They were all very supportive afterward as well. I am sure your group members all started in a very similar fashion.

Just don't make the mistake of sitting next to the meeting chair like I did! :/

Seren

So many people have exactly that same reaction during the first, or first few meetings! It's completely normal, and everyone in that room understands....trust me on this.

NTurn

I cried too during my first meeting, and through a few more after that. A lot of it was letting go and the release of it all but also relief that I wasn't alone. Don't stress about crying during the meetings, its a very emotional time and everyone understands. Its a lot healthier to let it out and let it go

Shadydeal

Yep, I cried and cried. Hoping or guessing it was normal. Everyone was very kind to me.

KerBearz

I've not only cried at meetings, but I cry every time someone else does too! Absolutely OK and everyone understands. Many, many meetings I have hightailed it to my car after the meeting, so I can cry on the way home. Lots of tears shed over the years.

Windmills

I cried at my first meeting. I haven't shared my past on that level since, I gave kind of a back story that day and it was the first time I ever talked about it, I haven't done it since. I still cry when someone else does. I catch my sponsor looking at the ceiling too- she does that to avoid crying! I think meetings are an amazing place, it's incredible that you can feel so close and connected to what is essentially a group of strangers. The understanding and empathy in those rooms is life changing for me.

laurie6781

I do believe that everyone of us that attend Alanon at one time or another
has sobbed through a meeting.

My home group .......................... each month when our treasurer hands
out her monthly report of what was collected and our expenses ..............
................... they each have a separate line, one of the lines is for ........
...................yep you guessed it .................... boxes of kleenex. We stay
well stocked, as it is used at every meeting.

So, please, remember, your Alanon meeting is one of the few safe places,
other than your own home, possibly locked in the bathroom, where you can
cry as much as you need to.

I am a firm believer that tears help to WASH AWAY all that 'stuff' that we
have STUFFED for so long.

Thank you for sharing, so others, new, coming on here, will know that it
is definitely A-OK to cry through a meeting or two or three, etc

Love and hugs,

Serenity8

It took a while for the tears to start flowing - I was so numb. But once they did, I sobbed through many meetings. I think it is normal. Keep feeling, let the tears come, they are part of your recovery!!

((HUGS))

Looking4ward

I got you completely beat! My first meeting, or actually three - it was a Friday night, they have the meetings, al-anon and AA, lined up back to back - I sobbed through every last one of them. I still have some meetings, some moments. I've seen others have the same. It happens.

changeschoices

I burst into tears at my first meeting. You're in good company!

Katiekate

Says something about your feeling of safety among others who know exactly what you are feeling.

I'm so glad you had a place to release all that pain and be validated.

More crying ahead. YOu are healing. So proud of you for posting , thanks

Smiley1

Sobbed so hard almost gave myself an asthma attack. Everyone there has done it at soime point. For me it was the realization that I wasn't alone.... others has gone through the exact same things. Keep going back. It works!

fourmaggie

any advice?
keep going back....its time to grieve and heal...

i remember my two meetings of crying....*sigh*, now 2 years later...life is good, as long as i work my HONEST program every day...life will be better

sweetteewalls

I cry at every Alanon meeting I attend. You are not alone.

CatsPajamas

I cried for the first month of meetings, probably 2x a week. I walked in the door, sat down and cried for an hour. I could barely squeak out my name during introductions.

My wonderful Al Anon friends just smiled, and nodded, and encouraged me to "keep coming back". And I did.

I felt better after each meeting. I heard stories of others whose lives were as crazy and scary and mixed up as mine. And they were getting better and stronger. I found some people with whom I could really relate and connect, and I heard others who were in so much pain they couldn't see the light just yet.

For the first time in a very long time, I didn't feel ashamed or alone. As they shared their experience, strength and hope, I was able to BE hopeful. And that was a blessing.

Now, years later, I'm like many others who have responded here. I still cry and some meetings. Sometimes I cry when others cry, and other times I'm crying tears of gratitude.

I hope you know you're not alone, and that crying can be a sign of healing.

Spes

I understand. :ghug3

Freedom1990

Tears are for the soul what soap is for the body.

Sending you gentle hugs of support!

PurpleWilder

Oh, yes did I ever cry at meetings. - or as I used to say, "Pass the tissues - I've got issues!". Everybody there understands it and it is totally OK. Don't feel weird about it at all.

sugarbear1

I certainly cried, too!

Let the tears flow, it's cathartic!

Hugs,