Higher Power Greater than Myself
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Join Date: Feb 2008
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Higher Power Greater than Myself
What is someone's higher power if it is not God?
I have been taught if you don't believe in God, you go to hell. I was brought up going to church and was confirmed at the end of eighth grade.
I am not sure what I believe and I have never admitted that out loud or written it out. I know what I was taught to believe.
At hard times I have even protested my faith in God and I say or post I will keep you in my prayers or I will pray for you.
I question my own beliefs.
Words of God or actions? So many can preach the word of God, so many can be judgmental using God as their crutch or backbone.
I grew up with alot of words about God but really didnt see the actions. I grew up seeing alot of actions that I know would not be considered Godly. But yet was forced to believe from those same people that God is real.
Is their a heaven or hell? Will my children go to hell because I did not baptize them or have doubts on what I believe? Will my brother go to hell like my uncle told my dad at the hospital after my brother tried to commit suicide? My brother nine years later is still alive living with my parents and is full care with no quality of life.
There are so many of my family members even in-laws, that go to church, but are racist, or so judgmental against others.
I guess bottom line is what do I believe, what would be considered my higher power?
Sorry hope this make sense to someone else other than myself.
Confused on what I really believe
I have been taught if you don't believe in God, you go to hell. I was brought up going to church and was confirmed at the end of eighth grade.
I am not sure what I believe and I have never admitted that out loud or written it out. I know what I was taught to believe.
At hard times I have even protested my faith in God and I say or post I will keep you in my prayers or I will pray for you.
I question my own beliefs.
Words of God or actions? So many can preach the word of God, so many can be judgmental using God as their crutch or backbone.
I grew up with alot of words about God but really didnt see the actions. I grew up seeing alot of actions that I know would not be considered Godly. But yet was forced to believe from those same people that God is real.
Is their a heaven or hell? Will my children go to hell because I did not baptize them or have doubts on what I believe? Will my brother go to hell like my uncle told my dad at the hospital after my brother tried to commit suicide? My brother nine years later is still alive living with my parents and is full care with no quality of life.
There are so many of my family members even in-laws, that go to church, but are racist, or so judgmental against others.
I guess bottom line is what do I believe, what would be considered my higher power?
Sorry hope this make sense to someone else other than myself.
Confused on what I really believe
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,754
Cassey, all I can tell you is that for me, God, Higher Power, or whatever it is you believe in is something very personal and something no one can give you, you have to seek it yourself.
I personally do not believe in judging people in the name of God, I too would question that kind of faith, simply because it would not work for me. It's between the believer and God.
I personally do not believe in judging people in the name of God, I too would question that kind of faith, simply because it would not work for me. It's between the believer and God.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
It completely makes sense, Cassey.
This type of teaching put forth by some churches is exactly why I started tuning out a lot of the classes and sermons at church when my parents continued to make me go with them while in grade school. (OK, yep, I get it NOW; they couldn't just leave me at home...)
I had family friends of different religious backgrounds who led much more 'godly' lives than several of the church leaders. However, according to the church teachings (or perhaps just those pastors...), those families would be condemned to h-ll because they weren't of our faith. No, thank you. I don't believe that.
I love the following quote by Walt Whitman: Re-examine all you have been told... Dismiss what insults your Soul.
It's taken me a lot of time to be willing to actively believe in a higher power again. Mine is continuously evolving and growing, or maybe I should say my understanding of my HP is. I think those changes are directly tied to my being willing to re-examine my beliefs, and the parts of the teachings I was raised with that I do not accept, and research and learn about other religions and ways of thought.
A higher power can be just that, a power over which you have no control, some where you can turn for solace... The book Letting Go with Love, Finding Peace of Mind and Heart for Those Who Live With a Practicing or Recovering Alcoholic/Addict by Julia H. helped me start looking at what/who my HP is. There's a section in it where the author talks about having the sea as a HP, she could not control it, the tides will come or go whether she willed it or not. I think I need to go check out the book again....
Originally Posted by Cassey 
I have been taught if you don't believe in God, you go to hell. I was brought up going to church and was confirmed at the end of eighth grade.
I had family friends of different religious backgrounds who led much more 'godly' lives than several of the church leaders. However, according to the church teachings (or perhaps just those pastors...), those families would be condemned to h-ll because they weren't of our faith. No, thank you. I don't believe that.
I love the following quote by Walt Whitman: Re-examine all you have been told... Dismiss what insults your Soul.
It's taken me a lot of time to be willing to actively believe in a higher power again. Mine is continuously evolving and growing, or maybe I should say my understanding of my HP is. I think those changes are directly tied to my being willing to re-examine my beliefs, and the parts of the teachings I was raised with that I do not accept, and research and learn about other religions and ways of thought.
A higher power can be just that, a power over which you have no control, some where you can turn for solace... The book Letting Go with Love, Finding Peace of Mind and Heart for Those Who Live With a Practicing or Recovering Alcoholic/Addict by Julia H. helped me start looking at what/who my HP is. There's a section in it where the author talks about having the sea as a HP, she could not control it, the tides will come or go whether she willed it or not. I think I need to go check out the book again....
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
I'm a hard atheist and don't struggle with this much. If I had to name it, the "higher power" would be something like "clarity".
One of the things I've really struggled with since starting this journey is the realization that for the last 10-15 years, I have had pressures on me that have prevented me from seeing the truth about myself, my family, and why I am where I am (or, "I've had difficulty figuring out what the Is is"), and most of my actions have been made out of fear and uncertainty. The fog is beginning to lift, and this focus is what I've set my sights on for the immediate future. The more the fog lifts, the more I see myself and my life with clarity, the more I trust myself, the happier and more grounded I feel regardless of the chaos around me.
It sounds kind of woo-woo, but this is how I'm looking at it for now. My higher power, for lack of a better term, is clarity.
One of the things I've really struggled with since starting this journey is the realization that for the last 10-15 years, I have had pressures on me that have prevented me from seeing the truth about myself, my family, and why I am where I am (or, "I've had difficulty figuring out what the Is is"), and most of my actions have been made out of fear and uncertainty. The fog is beginning to lift, and this focus is what I've set my sights on for the immediate future. The more the fog lifts, the more I see myself and my life with clarity, the more I trust myself, the happier and more grounded I feel regardless of the chaos around me.
It sounds kind of woo-woo, but this is how I'm looking at it for now. My higher power, for lack of a better term, is clarity.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: North West, England
Posts: 500
Personally I'm not a believer in 'God' in the biblical sense. I do believe in a higher power, spiritually rather than religiously. I believe in fate and destiny and karma. I think many things that happen are WAY too much of a 'coincidence' to be that. I don't really have a belief in any kind of religion or any theories on creation etc, I just know that oftentimes, the thing I need to hear/see the most lands right on my doorstep. Amazing tiny miracles happen all the time, I can't just write them all off as nothing. I feel there is a higher power that guides me to where I need to be, and I do believe that if you ask the universe for help then you will receive. I don't know, this is a very new thing to me. I spent years and years completely disregarding the idea of a power greater than myself.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 253
Cassey,
I had to smile when I read your post. I grew up going to Catholic school taught by nuns all the way from Kidnergarden through High School where it seemed that religion was based more on fear than on anything else. I don't intend to get into a debate about religion or God....that's the fastest way for a conversation to go south in a hurry. I just wrote that so you would understand why I smiled when I read your post.
I spent a lifetime climbing the Tibetan mountain searching for answers. I've taken enough religous and philosophy courses to start my own church except that wasn't the reason for my journeys. I've faced death and hardships that have shaken my belief system to its core.
After a lifetime of searching (let's just say I'm old enough to collect social security) I've come down to a simple truth that works for me. I believe in doing what is right. Period.
Whether there is a God from whatever belief system exists, I refuse to believe anything bad can come from living a life where all we do is what is right. I don't need anyone to tell me what is right. It either is, or is not.
But.....it comes down to why you and I are here at SR trying to make sense out of a life that is causing us to question our belief system. I trust all the people here who tell me I must submit to a higher power. Defining that higher power is different for each of us because it is based on our belief system. If I was a devout practicing Catholic, I suppose submission to a higher power would be relatively easy. Those of us who struggle with a belief system will find this idea difficult.
Cassy, what you believe and how you define your higher power is a very personal process because it is what defines you. What has worked for me is that I take the idea of a God/god/higher power and realize deep in my heart that I can no longer control or fix or deal with my struggle with alcohol. I do not drink, my AW does, but I struggle with alcohol because it truly is a family disease. I am working so hard to give this control to God/god/higher power so that I don't have it. I don't waste the time trying to define it, I simly give the control to it.
Am I doing the right thing? I think I am for me...maybe not for anyone else, but it works for me. I am finally able to find peace in my life because, when life starts to go to heck in a handbasket, I can step back and truthfully tell myself it is not my problem and give it to my higher power.
I hope this helps you. It's not my intention to tell you what to do; I just wanted to tell you what works for me. As I work the 12 steps, I have discovered that one of my fears was not having control. Writing this conquers that fear.
Take care, my friend.
I had to smile when I read your post. I grew up going to Catholic school taught by nuns all the way from Kidnergarden through High School where it seemed that religion was based more on fear than on anything else. I don't intend to get into a debate about religion or God....that's the fastest way for a conversation to go south in a hurry. I just wrote that so you would understand why I smiled when I read your post.
I spent a lifetime climbing the Tibetan mountain searching for answers. I've taken enough religous and philosophy courses to start my own church except that wasn't the reason for my journeys. I've faced death and hardships that have shaken my belief system to its core.
After a lifetime of searching (let's just say I'm old enough to collect social security) I've come down to a simple truth that works for me. I believe in doing what is right. Period.
Whether there is a God from whatever belief system exists, I refuse to believe anything bad can come from living a life where all we do is what is right. I don't need anyone to tell me what is right. It either is, or is not.
But.....it comes down to why you and I are here at SR trying to make sense out of a life that is causing us to question our belief system. I trust all the people here who tell me I must submit to a higher power. Defining that higher power is different for each of us because it is based on our belief system. If I was a devout practicing Catholic, I suppose submission to a higher power would be relatively easy. Those of us who struggle with a belief system will find this idea difficult.
Cassy, what you believe and how you define your higher power is a very personal process because it is what defines you. What has worked for me is that I take the idea of a God/god/higher power and realize deep in my heart that I can no longer control or fix or deal with my struggle with alcohol. I do not drink, my AW does, but I struggle with alcohol because it truly is a family disease. I am working so hard to give this control to God/god/higher power so that I don't have it. I don't waste the time trying to define it, I simly give the control to it.
Am I doing the right thing? I think I am for me...maybe not for anyone else, but it works for me. I am finally able to find peace in my life because, when life starts to go to heck in a handbasket, I can step back and truthfully tell myself it is not my problem and give it to my higher power.
I hope this helps you. It's not my intention to tell you what to do; I just wanted to tell you what works for me. As I work the 12 steps, I have discovered that one of my fears was not having control. Writing this conquers that fear.
Take care, my friend.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
I could use the next few sentences to tell you about my God ~ but that's exactly what it would be "MY GOD" ~ I think the best part about "recovery" or "the program" or whatever you decide to call is going to be "MY" God/ Higher Power . . .
The concept that was given to me was one of taking the BIG Christmas WISH book that we use to get as children ~ you look at every page, and circle all those things you wanted "santa" to bring you for Christmas . . .
Well, it was told to me. . ."My child here is your Wish Book ~ you will notice the pages are blank. Close your eyes, open your mind and order your hearts desire"
Seek what is YOURS and YOUR HP will find you. . .
there you will find "the God of your understanding" . . .
Just sharing my experience, strength & hope ~
wishing you the very best
PINK HUGS,
Rita
The concept that was given to me was one of taking the BIG Christmas WISH book that we use to get as children ~ you look at every page, and circle all those things you wanted "santa" to bring you for Christmas . . .
Well, it was told to me. . ."My child here is your Wish Book ~ you will notice the pages are blank. Close your eyes, open your mind and order your hearts desire"
Seek what is YOURS and YOUR HP will find you. . .
there you will find "the God of your understanding" . . .
Just sharing my experience, strength & hope ~
wishing you the very best
PINK HUGS,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
You don't have to believe in God to believe in a higher power. That's me. I don't believe in God but I believe in a higher power. Evidence that there are many, many, many greater powers than me are all around. All I have to do is open my eyes to see them. The highest, for me, are Alanon groups.
As for believing in God but not being sure how to define that, or even not sure what that means to you? Still not a problem as long as you can believe in a power greater than yourself.
For you I'd advise just to act as if, give things over to your higher power as appropriate, and not worry about how you define it, what it looks like, or even what you believe. Over time more will be revealed.
To those who say the Higher Power thing is why they don't engage in Alanon or AA, which I don't think is you, I'd say what I always say-- escuses to not go to Alanon or AA are just excuses to not go to Alanon or AA. I'm not religious, despise Churches, I'm not Christian, and I don't believe in God yet Alanon has worked miracles in my life because I let it, and because I do my best to follow 12 Simple Rules and 12 Simple Traditions that, just like Religions, were born of man.
My two cents.
Take care,
Cyranoak
As for believing in God but not being sure how to define that, or even not sure what that means to you? Still not a problem as long as you can believe in a power greater than yourself.
For you I'd advise just to act as if, give things over to your higher power as appropriate, and not worry about how you define it, what it looks like, or even what you believe. Over time more will be revealed.
To those who say the Higher Power thing is why they don't engage in Alanon or AA, which I don't think is you, I'd say what I always say-- escuses to not go to Alanon or AA are just excuses to not go to Alanon or AA. I'm not religious, despise Churches, I'm not Christian, and I don't believe in God yet Alanon has worked miracles in my life because I let it, and because I do my best to follow 12 Simple Rules and 12 Simple Traditions that, just like Religions, were born of man.
My two cents.
Take care,
Cyranoak
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Memphis TN
Posts: 7
These are all amazing responses. The quest for a Higher Power is a daunting task, one that is making me truly struggle with giving up the power I thought I had. Thank you all for sharing your personal struggles. I'm finding I'm not alone.
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
I am a Buddhist, more philosophy than religion. Buddhism is a non-theistic system in that god is not required to follow the practices of Buddhism.
I try to be non-dualistic meaning that I try to see reality, the universe, what have you as a seamless whole. Any time you use a concept like good - evil, god - not god, us - them, me - not me you are trying to split reality into smaller bit size pieces, which to be honest is an easier way to deal with the universe. The problem is that often we forget that our words are simply a tool to help us deal with reality and are not reality itself. We are a part of reality/the universe.
I like the idea of a hologram. If you cut the hologram into pieces you don't just see the piece of the hologram you cut out, you still see the whole thing, it just isn't as clear as the uncut original. So, the smaller you cut it the fuzzier it gets.
So, for me, higher power is a dualistic concept that tries to separates me from reality. It can be a useful tool but for me it is not one that I find useful.
BTW, I still attend al-anon but I just don't do the steps. The wording doesn't work for me but the program is invaluable. As they say "take what you want and leave the rest".
I hope this helped and if not I at least hope it made sense.
Your friend,
I try to be non-dualistic meaning that I try to see reality, the universe, what have you as a seamless whole. Any time you use a concept like good - evil, god - not god, us - them, me - not me you are trying to split reality into smaller bit size pieces, which to be honest is an easier way to deal with the universe. The problem is that often we forget that our words are simply a tool to help us deal with reality and are not reality itself. We are a part of reality/the universe.
I like the idea of a hologram. If you cut the hologram into pieces you don't just see the piece of the hologram you cut out, you still see the whole thing, it just isn't as clear as the uncut original. So, the smaller you cut it the fuzzier it gets.
So, for me, higher power is a dualistic concept that tries to separates me from reality. It can be a useful tool but for me it is not one that I find useful.
BTW, I still attend al-anon but I just don't do the steps. The wording doesn't work for me but the program is invaluable. As they say "take what you want and leave the rest".
I hope this helped and if not I at least hope it made sense.
Your friend,
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
I've never felt that my recovery was tied to my belief in a higher power. I believe in God, but have never believed that God provides the power to recover. To me, such a belief would make my decision to permanently abstain contingent on something outside myself . . . and I don't allow my recovery to be contingent on ANYTHING.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 602
Originally Posted by Cassey
What is someone's higher power if it is not God?
"The best lack all conviction," said Yeats. Just wanted to thank you for your honest post. There's a deep value in raising these sorts of questions (as opposed to kidding ourselves that we have the answers).
I think I was raised similar to you. As a Catholic kid going to church I fixated on the statues and images. I had an overactive imagination anyway, so I imagined I heard angels talking to me. I had whole conversations with John the Baptist. I read the bible and prayed a lot.
I was actually excited to start Catholic school at age 8. But then I saw how mean the nuns were. Not strict, mean. I'll go to hell if I let my socks slip? Really? The Jewish family down the street is going to hell? I couldn't help but see all that for what it was: scaremongering and control.
I refused to go back. And to this day I sometimes think it would nice to go to mass or something but once you've seen behind the curtain the whole operation loses its charm.
For now I'm just planning to go through life being a good and decent person. If God or whoever wants something different from me, presumably they know where to find me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,243
Hi Cassie,
What we experience as children hardwires us in many cases... I was raised by an alcoholic who hated the idea of a god and he raised us to be atheists.
In my twenties I embarked on a spiritual search for truth and studies all religions and Christian denominations. At a certain point I prayed to the HP I did not know to lead me into truth. I believe that this prayer was answered and my spirituality is a very important part of who I am now.
There is no more important question in the universe than the one you are comtemplating and the journey to your own decisions can be an adventure and even lifechanging.
It was for me. Don't let the surface veneer of religiousity and commericialization of marketing of God stop you from searching for the truth and reality of a loving HP.
If you want to know more about my personal search feel free to pm me...
What we experience as children hardwires us in many cases... I was raised by an alcoholic who hated the idea of a god and he raised us to be atheists.
In my twenties I embarked on a spiritual search for truth and studies all religions and Christian denominations. At a certain point I prayed to the HP I did not know to lead me into truth. I believe that this prayer was answered and my spirituality is a very important part of who I am now.
There is no more important question in the universe than the one you are comtemplating and the journey to your own decisions can be an adventure and even lifechanging.
It was for me. Don't let the surface veneer of religiousity and commericialization of marketing of God stop you from searching for the truth and reality of a loving HP.
If you want to know more about my personal search feel free to pm me...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 106
I was raised in a very patriarchal Jewish family - and my Dad was a mean drunk. So I consider the religion I grew up with the same manner I had to endure my childhood - as a hardship to be "got through".
The HP took me awhile to realize. Even though I'd been working the steps, it wasn't until I joined a meditation group that helped me sit in silence and really "feel" what the world is all about.
For me, HP is all about TRUST in a loving, ordered universe - that is if I'm a good person, then that MEANS something. I can spread good to those around me and that force will multiply. That my wants and needs are met by this loving universe and that all us humans and living things have a relationship to one another that is loving and we want the BEST for one another. I want you to be healthy, happy and to find the things you want and the universe does to, that all getting those things you want and need (including being loved) is the RIGHT order of things.
That is the realization I have come to as far as HP.
The HP took me awhile to realize. Even though I'd been working the steps, it wasn't until I joined a meditation group that helped me sit in silence and really "feel" what the world is all about.
For me, HP is all about TRUST in a loving, ordered universe - that is if I'm a good person, then that MEANS something. I can spread good to those around me and that force will multiply. That my wants and needs are met by this loving universe and that all us humans and living things have a relationship to one another that is loving and we want the BEST for one another. I want you to be healthy, happy and to find the things you want and the universe does to, that all getting those things you want and need (including being loved) is the RIGHT order of things.
That is the realization I have come to as far as HP.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 129
Does anyone else feel like they keep searching and searching and searching and not finding what they are looking for. Well I want to stop searching and find the answers.
I have had this dream periodically a dream that I have had all my life. I am in this great big house it is my parents house. Someone is chasing me I never can see their face. Inside my closet in my bedroom, I have this tiny little door, barely able to squeeze through it. Once I get behind this door I feel safe. I always make it to this tiny little door and I always make it through to the other side of that door and I am not found. I feel safe behind that door!
I want to feel safe in the whole house, not only when I am hidden behind something.
How to unhide yourself, to open up to the reality you are in.
I have had this dream periodically a dream that I have had all my life. I am in this great big house it is my parents house. Someone is chasing me I never can see their face. Inside my closet in my bedroom, I have this tiny little door, barely able to squeeze through it. Once I get behind this door I feel safe. I always make it to this tiny little door and I always make it through to the other side of that door and I am not found. I feel safe behind that door!
I want to feel safe in the whole house, not only when I am hidden behind something.
How to unhide yourself, to open up to the reality you are in.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
Cassey, maybe the thing to do is stop looking? When in doubt, wait. More will be revealed.
There is a great little Buddhist poem that I love.
Sitting quietly, doing nothing.
Spring comes and the grass grows by itself.
Maybe if you let things settle it will be clearer. Still clear water reflects the best.
((((hugs))))
Your friend,
There is a great little Buddhist poem that I love.
Sitting quietly, doing nothing.
Spring comes and the grass grows by itself.
Maybe if you let things settle it will be clearer. Still clear water reflects the best.
((((hugs))))
Your friend,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 129
I e-mailed my siblings this morning excluding my parents.
I told them all even though I don't speak to them often and I don't see them often, I think of them almost on a daily basis. I told them I loved them all and I love all of their kids.
My siblings have gone through what I have gone through. Even though I am the oldest daughter, I know one sibling (sister) younger that did have it rougher.
I think to a huge extent I am letting go of what they think of me and even what their opinion is of me. I just wanted them to know that I loved them.
My mom has this control, I can't explain the control she has over all of us kids. Be loyal to her, stick up for her, stand behind her. I have finally escaped that web. I will no longer stand behind her for things I don't believe in.
I told them all even though I don't speak to them often and I don't see them often, I think of them almost on a daily basis. I told them I loved them all and I love all of their kids.
My siblings have gone through what I have gone through. Even though I am the oldest daughter, I know one sibling (sister) younger that did have it rougher.
I think to a huge extent I am letting go of what they think of me and even what their opinion is of me. I just wanted them to know that I loved them.
My mom has this control, I can't explain the control she has over all of us kids. Be loyal to her, stick up for her, stand behind her. I have finally escaped that web. I will no longer stand behind her for things I don't believe in.
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