Krys

You know...you are right. When I was reading this I started to remember a particular argument I had with him. I told him that after a difficult day, our home was supposed to feel like a refuge and his behavior made that impossible...it was yet another stressful place, maybe the most stressful place the last 2 months I was there. Thanks for the reminder Helenlee!! Weird thing happened today btw. I got an email from our landlord. I had sent him one a few days back asking if I could use him as a reference for a new place (I always paid my half of the rent but my abf hasn't paid in 3 months so I wasn't sure how he felt about me using his name) and he sent one back saying that he would happy to give me a reference and then mentioned that although my abf said he would send the money he owes him and continue to live there without me, he hasn't received anything yet and may have to put the condo back on the market. I should mention that in my email I mentioned that I was having a hard time finding a place and asked him if he had any other properties. I know that he would rather have me in there since I pay my bills and it felt like he was trying to feel me out. I told him that if it didn't work out with abf I would take the condo back. Problem is that I know this guy and he will give abf another chance. Ugh. I love that place, I found it, I decorated it, and I took care of it...but I don't want to get my hopes up. Plus I feel a wee bit guilty that it will take my abf falling on his face and getting evicted to get it back. Damn him!!

Helenlee

Plus I feel a wee bit guilty that it will take my abf falling on his face and getting evicted to get it back. Damn him!!

I think what you meant to say is "when abf experiences the direct consequences of his actions" ie: not paying his rent when it's due. Nothing to do with you & nothing to feel guilty about. (Unless you were intercepting the checks he sent every month???)
Why shouldn't you get it back? My father used to say: "There are no rewards & no punishments in life, only consequences." Hopefully, the consequence for you for being a reliable, responsible tenant will be that you find another great apartment, or you get to move back into that one.
Whatever comes to pass, it will be the result of past actions - for you AND abf.

akrasia

I think it would be AWESOME if he got booted out of the condo and then you got to move in. Win-win for your landlord and for you. Well played.

One niggling little thought: a bit weird that landlord is telling you how ABF isn't paying rent. What does that have to do with you? I hope your landlord wasn't fishing a bit to find out whether you'll "patch things up" and just move back in with ABF? Just out of cluelessness on landlord's part--and for him it would be the path of least resistance.

If landlord brings that up again, it might be worth mentioning that you've broken up with ABF and it's a done deal. "Sorry you're having trouble landlord, but I'm not with him anymore so don't really have anything to do with his tenancy. Anyway, as you know I'm looking for a place so if you get any openings, I'd be grateful if you could let me know."

Krys

It is possible that he hopes we can make it work, but I think my last email to him pretty much summed up the fact that it won't happen. I think at this point he is just feeling the consequences of enabling him. I never missed a payment with my half of rent, so I think he is realizing that now that I am gone he is left with the bad tenant and is regretting letting him stay. He is a very nice guy and always gave abf the benefit of the doubt, I think he is rooting for him (he does not know he is an alcoholic). I was all business when it came to emailing him (we have never talked on the phone or met, he lives in another state) but abf gave him sob stories over and over again about how hard the economy has been on him. He fell for it which was shocking to me. I hope he realizes that getting a check once in a while, and always coming last isn't the way he wants to do business and he grows a pair. lol. Funny thing, every time I would get upset with him for not paying or not paying on time I would ask him to send another email to our landlord. He would say he didn't have to because our landlord cares about us and understands. Why is it that they always treat the people who try to help them like crap? My landlord might not know it, but he is treating him a lot like he treated me in some ways.