Things Normies wouldnt know about....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: mission viejo, ca
Posts: 134
Things Normies wouldnt know about....
Saw a thread like this posted awhile back and thought it was good to start again, List a few things normal people wouldn’t know or see as a red flag that happens around an addict or experiences that you remember being in that type of relationship.
Normies wouldn’t know…
When they found a pill basket full of prescription pills, you could of swore they must of either spent A FORTUNE on all those pills that were suppose to go toward bills or stole from a RX or friends
Everytime there boyfriend pops pills and you give him that look, you know its not asprin. Hours later you have to check there pulse to see if they are still breathing cuz your afraid they took to much this time.
When your loved one tells you something, you have to question if it’s the truth
Everytime you pick up a juice bottle laying around the apartment, you are not supposed to taste vodka mixed in with it
Whenever you hop in the shower you don’t have wonder if they sneaking around the apartment hiding there pills or texting there dealers
Everytime the water got shut off or the electricity, you know its not because you didn’t pay the bills on time but because your boyfriend spent the money on snacks and pills
Everytime you get paid, you don’t want to let your boyfriend know because you JUST KNOW they will ask for a loan up front and you love them so much you don’t have the heart to keep telling them no, while they make you feel guilty and say you don’t love them and they need food and gas money or they cant make it to work.
The feeling of being alone, even when their partner is lying right next to them
Scared to leave the dog home alone with them because you just know he will “forget” to feed him or “didn’t know” the door was open
That you dread sex because it now becomes a chore then pleasure and you feel obligated because they threaten they will get it somewhere else.
Normies wouldn’t know…
When they found a pill basket full of prescription pills, you could of swore they must of either spent A FORTUNE on all those pills that were suppose to go toward bills or stole from a RX or friends
Everytime there boyfriend pops pills and you give him that look, you know its not asprin. Hours later you have to check there pulse to see if they are still breathing cuz your afraid they took to much this time.
When your loved one tells you something, you have to question if it’s the truth
Everytime you pick up a juice bottle laying around the apartment, you are not supposed to taste vodka mixed in with it
Whenever you hop in the shower you don’t have wonder if they sneaking around the apartment hiding there pills or texting there dealers
Everytime the water got shut off or the electricity, you know its not because you didn’t pay the bills on time but because your boyfriend spent the money on snacks and pills
Everytime you get paid, you don’t want to let your boyfriend know because you JUST KNOW they will ask for a loan up front and you love them so much you don’t have the heart to keep telling them no, while they make you feel guilty and say you don’t love them and they need food and gas money or they cant make it to work.
The feeling of being alone, even when their partner is lying right next to them
Scared to leave the dog home alone with them because you just know he will “forget” to feed him or “didn’t know” the door was open
That you dread sex because it now becomes a chore then pleasure and you feel obligated because they threaten they will get it somewhere else.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: mission viejo, ca
Posts: 134
The reason you put "up with it" is becuase it is a very slow moving pace. When you meet them there charming and normal and sweet and telling you there in the academy to be a firefighter and has his own place with a nice car and his sh** together. Fast forward 6 years later, he is mooching off you, droped out of school, lost his car from crashing it, 2 DUIs under his belt, filled for bankrupcy, credit in the tube, lies to you to the point you cant tell the truth from lies anymore and cant rememver the last time he wasent high. So yeah,....its a gradual thing ha ha
trying to find a balance
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 57
A normie would never worry about taking a shower, going to the grocery store, asking "how was your day?"... a normie would never stand out side there own home for a good 10-15 mins before going in just preparing for what Might be on the other side of the door.
A normie would never understand the feelings of guilt that come with every thought of leaving an A.
A normie would never understand the sex as a chore...an obligation...the most horrifying ____(Fill in the blank) mins of the day.
A normie would never understand the feelings of guilt that come with every thought of leaving an A.
A normie would never understand the sex as a chore...an obligation...the most horrifying ____(Fill in the blank) mins of the day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: mission viejo, ca
Posts: 134
Yeah i knew it got bad when i didnt want to go home cuz i didnt knwo if he would be passed out or in a bad mood. It is sad that when I came home and he was normal, it was a really good day.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 16
I saw in the other thread but it really stuck with me - the "drunk voice." It's not slurring (because they've learned how to hide the slurs, for a while anyway) but just the manner of speaking that might as well be saying, "I won't remember this conversation."
Also, whether a drink in their hand is water or booze. It's not just one cue, but somehow a sum of several... If it has a straw, if it's an opaque cup, or even if it just has ice in it... You learn how a person drinks their water and how they drink anything else.
Also, whether a drink in their hand is water or booze. It's not just one cue, but somehow a sum of several... If it has a straw, if it's an opaque cup, or even if it just has ice in it... You learn how a person drinks their water and how they drink anything else.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Orem UT
Posts: 312
I've been dating this "normie" guy for 15 months, he is understanding, no once has call me a bad name, not even crazy, no once he has raised his voice at me, he communicates and treats me like an adult and with respect for my feelings, he has patience with me and is not pushing me to make decissions, he respects my opinions even if he disagree with them, is kind to me and my children, is always there when I need him, if I need my space he understands, he doesn't play mind games with me, he doesn't ask me for money, he has a job and is responsible, he likes to please me in every way, takes me out to eat, dance, camping, fishing, Vegas, etc. always SOBER, and never ask for favors in return or makes me feel guitly.....I wonder ..What's wrong with him?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 235
The part that gets me that is so true, We feel guilty for leaving, abandoning them because of this disease they have. We are suppose to love them through sickness and in health but we know it is wrong to be treated this way. So, we leave the love of our life (which if they are not healing, I believe you should) and then live a life of guilt. I am sure this guilt goes away, I am new at the leaving part. But, it really is a no win situation.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Scotland
Posts: 20
When friends ask you both as a couple to say the cinema, How hard it is to say yes to something so simple because you've gotta take into account what state they'll be in. So you end up going alone with an excuse of them not being well, working etc.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 47
Brownhorse, I agree totally, but I keep repeating Adele's lyrics in my head- "sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes in hurts instead."
That is for both parties, remember, they have a choice to recover, if they want, just like we have a choice to leave. It's just like someone who has diabetes and refuses to take insulin and eats whatever they want. It's a disease, but they have a choice to change their lifestyle if they want to live. Sometimes we have to be selfish in order to live. I love him, but don't want to drown with him. I threw him the life jacket, he grabbed a beer instead. His choice. I can't feel guilty, I feel I have tried everything, including couples counseling. I want to live the fullest life I can!
That is for both parties, remember, they have a choice to recover, if they want, just like we have a choice to leave. It's just like someone who has diabetes and refuses to take insulin and eats whatever they want. It's a disease, but they have a choice to change their lifestyle if they want to live. Sometimes we have to be selfish in order to live. I love him, but don't want to drown with him. I threw him the life jacket, he grabbed a beer instead. His choice. I can't feel guilty, I feel I have tried everything, including couples counseling. I want to live the fullest life I can!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,796
Originally Posted by justrae83 
ODAT63.....your new boyfriend is something i dream of having once I am ready to date again. Sad to think "normal" is our new dream guy after leaving and addict ha ha ha
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 164
Normies don’t find themselves attracting the same type of person into their life that they despised as a child (Alcoholic father and brother)
Normies don’t stay with their ABF because they think its their lot in life
Normies don’t dread the sound of the stereo blaring when they get home because it means the “party” has already begun (and uh we’re in our 40’s not our 20’s anymore wtf its embarrassing)
Normies don’t scan the fridge to see how much alcohol has been stocked and get a stomach ache when they see the amount already consumed
Normies don’t analyze their ABFs breath when he goes to kiss you hello.
Normies don’t stay with their ABF because they think its their lot in life
Normies don’t dread the sound of the stereo blaring when they get home because it means the “party” has already begun (and uh we’re in our 40’s not our 20’s anymore wtf its embarrassing)
Normies don’t scan the fridge to see how much alcohol has been stocked and get a stomach ache when they see the amount already consumed
Normies don’t analyze their ABFs breath when he goes to kiss you hello.
trying to find a balance
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 57
Originally Posted by fhl41
Normies don’t find themselves attracting the same type of person into their life that they despised as a child (Alcoholic father and brother)
Normies don’t stay with their ABF because they think its their lot in life
Normies don’t dread the sound of the stereo blaring when they get home because it means the “party” has already begun (and uh we’re in our 40’s not our 20’s anymore wtf its embarrassing)
Normies don’t scan the fridge to see how much alcohol has been stocked and get a stomach ache when they see the amount already consumed
Normies don’t analyze their ABFs breath when he goes to kiss you hello.
Normies don’t stay with their ABF because they think its their lot in life
Normies don’t dread the sound of the stereo blaring when they get home because it means the “party” has already begun (and uh we’re in our 40’s not our 20’s anymore wtf its embarrassing)
Normies don’t scan the fridge to see how much alcohol has been stocked and get a stomach ache when they see the amount already consumed
Normies don’t analyze their ABFs breath when he goes to kiss you hello.
Thanks for posting this, it made me giggle and tear up that I am not the only one who lives with this.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
