transformyself

Hey Er'body

Hope you're all doing well.

I've been through the wringer with my NPD business partner. Just when I get clarity and try to untangle myself from her, she increases her manipulation.

For me, the solution has been validating my own needs and feelings. I know that sounds insanely simple but it's true.

She came to me with a proposal for me to turn over 25% of my shares, and for her to give up 8% of hers to bring in an investor.

I went to some community members and attorneys and they were furious. One attorney is representing me now , for free.

I stopped talking to her by phone about two months ago, limiting our contact. It drove her crazy, or crazier.

I find myself reading her emails and questioning myself. Asking that old question, "is she crazy or am I?"

I've gotten so much support from my friends and community, it's really helped me do the one thing I need to do to feel better..just validate my own damn feelings, needs and boundaries, which she does not do. Doesnt' respect them that is. Oh she can look like she does, but it's all a twisted game .

I just want her to go away. Period. And I keep coming back to it.

It's just like dealing with an A, because I doubt myself, but that is fading.

Good luck to all of us in our journey to find and validate and care for and love ourselves. Without that foundation, my life is a miserable mess.

transformyself

The other thing I've learned to do is not engage , not take the bait when dealing with her. it's tricky, but oh so worth it.

Impurrfect

(((TM))) - I'm glad you've got a lawyer on your side and lots of support. I totally agree on the "not engage" part...it's not always easy..there are times my mouth is talking before I've even taken time to THINK it through, but getting better, and it sounds like you are, too.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

TakingCharge999

transformy I am dealing with the same kind of toxic people. First XABF then wacko therapist and now a new "team lead" who is very abusive. I wonder if I am still attracting chaos in my life or if these characters just abound in life.

How very stressful, I get what you mean by "letting go", very tricky but worth it. I feel just being exhausted helps letting things go. People are who they are, our peace is still ours... (easier said than done!)

Hugs!

Cyranoak

...sometimes we forget that **** just happens. While I know I was attracted to and attracting crazy people at some level, at another level sometimes it is simply chance (like crazy-ass co-workers).

Take care,

Cyranoak

transformyself

So I had my meeting with this crazy business partner. She backpeddled, apologized and then tried to pitch me a new business where she takes something I'm already doing--public relations--and makes a company and ******* pimps me out.

She would run the company, bring me yearly contracts for oh, writing newsletters, E-blasts and publicity, and I would do the work.

I laughed.

The beautiful thing--and I remember this from my AH as well--is that I am no longer afraid of her. I see her as pathetic and desperate and a bully.

I don't have time right now to dissect it, but it's something powerful-losing that fear. Probably deep, unresolved childhood issues that create the fear. Somehow I've released it. In this scenario at least..

fourmaggie

yes she is a BULLY...shame really, because she feel entitled to do that to people a around her and then her to think its ok.....(she needs AL ANON..)

TakingCharge999

Congrats transformy, I am afraid of the guy in the office and can hear it in my voice, but yesterday at least I put a boundary even with a trembling squirrely voice and I was proud of myself! Love ya! HUGS!