brownhorse

SO, STBXAH text me he was waching D9 basketball uniform and will bring it over tomorrow morning before his game. I responded thanks for washing it but we can just meet early at the game and he can change there!

I am learning.

I also re-enrolled kids in daycare full time and found a sitter for my dog when I go on vacation. STBXAH was going to keep her. I do have to still tell him about daycare and the dog but need his signature on some tax stuff so I am waiting until I get it signed first. See, I really am learning. I hate playing his games, but, I know he will refuse to sign the papers if I tell him first.

fourmaggie

^^^ good for you for setting boundaries....

Willybluedog

Great job!

theuncertainty

Aren't the feelings from accomplishing the first steps just amazing!?! The realization that 'I can do this!'

brownhorse

It is a good feeling of acomplishment! and him asking my D9 not to tell me they went to his friends house (that smokes pot) and spent the night, running out of gas with both kids in the car, forgetting to take D9 to basketball practice and the kids telling me he spun out in the car for fun helps me know I am doing the right thing. Hopefully, before he hurts somebody!

brownhorse

I got my papers I needed signed. Then, after about 24 hours, finally talked to him and told him kids were going back to daycare and that visitation was not going to be at my house anymore. He was mad but actually called and apologized a few minutes later.

Then, I saw my lawyer and had to ask him to give me the garage door opener, that was fine. Told him just so he was aware he was going to have to refinance truck, that seemed fine, too. Then, I asked him if we could agree on and write some house rules so that D9 had it consistant where ever he was. Then, he flipped! I am not putting any rules in writing. Yelling at me. Then, he threatened to take the house and our assets (what assets?) First time it didn't even bother me. He put my kids in danger. This is only a house.

Tuffgirl

Way to stand calm and firm, brownhorse! ; )

Carol Star

Congrats on the boundaries and not reacting.....!

wanttobehealthy

Way to go on all the boundary setting and not letting him ruffle you! I have to say that I find the unwillingness of A's to work cooperatively to have consistent expectations with the kids to be the most frustrating part of all of this. I have to tell myself that it's just not going to be something that I can expect from stbxAH but it still is difficult to accept...

brownhorse

And then today down hill again! I get a call at work that my D4 threw up. I call the STBXRA who is unemployed at the moment and ask him if he can pick up the son until I get out of work. He had plans so he is finally going to stand tall and say NO to me this once. So, I had to get a substitute teacher for the rest of the day and miss work why, because his plans were inportant, too. Just because mine was financial doesn't make it more important. Really?!

fedup3

don't you just want to get off the play ground! geez what pettiness.

fedup3

don't you just want to get off the play ground? geez what pettiness.

wanttobehealthy

oh god-- been there... i am so sorry... i am a teacher too and the past 2 yrs of having stbxAH refuse to help with the girls when they were sick did not help me out at all with keeping my job. my job was cut due to the budget but i am SURE that having been new there and having to miss days everytime the girls were sick bc their father couldn't be bothered did NOT help my employment record at all...

hang in... i know so well what you're dealing with...