Nightmares, part III
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Nightmares, part III
I still have nightmares about AXH.
Part I was when I used to dream that I came home and he had moved in and I didn't know how to get rid of him. It was like the last 2 years never happened and everything was back to how it used to be when we were married.
Then those dreams faded away.
Part II was when I used to dream that he broke in (see, there, at least, he couldn't just walk into my life) and I beat the living sh** out of him and kicked him out. Those were frightening but I always succeeded in kicking him out.
Then those dreams faded away.
Now I'm on to Part III.
In Part III, the only thing that's left is emotional blackmail. He has planned something that requires my cooperation and I cringe but I find it so hard to fight against the urge to just do what he tells me to avoid confrontation. I wake up in full anxiety before I realize that it was just a dream.
I guess it's progress, but I have to admit I'm very impatient for these nightmares to end altogether. But I don't think that'll happen until the kids are grown. Because it's always about him using the kids to blackmail me lately. *sigh*
Part I was when I used to dream that I came home and he had moved in and I didn't know how to get rid of him. It was like the last 2 years never happened and everything was back to how it used to be when we were married.
Then those dreams faded away.
Part II was when I used to dream that he broke in (see, there, at least, he couldn't just walk into my life) and I beat the living sh** out of him and kicked him out. Those were frightening but I always succeeded in kicking him out.
Then those dreams faded away.
Now I'm on to Part III.
In Part III, the only thing that's left is emotional blackmail. He has planned something that requires my cooperation and I cringe but I find it so hard to fight against the urge to just do what he tells me to avoid confrontation. I wake up in full anxiety before I realize that it was just a dream.
I guess it's progress, but I have to admit I'm very impatient for these nightmares to end altogether. But I don't think that'll happen until the kids are grown. Because it's always about him using the kids to blackmail me lately. *sigh*
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
*Hugs* I sooooo get where you're coming from. As much as I know it is futile to worry (and it's not like dreams are a conscious choice) I can't help it. And my worries like yours have moved from the tangible to less tangible. I'd like to say "don't worry about it" but we both know the capabilities of desperate, in denial, addicted xAH's and they WILL use our kids if they think that will hurt us....
I had twinges of guilt the past day about having xAH arrested this weekend and the thought (although fleeting) crossed my mind that "gee, what if I'd just let him stay and not confronted him for being drunk... " and in my mind thought that maybe that would have been better than confronting him and all that followed.
So, whether it's in a dream or in real life, it's something I imagine a lot of us wrestle with from time to time...
Sorry if I am rambling-- flu has hit D3, D6 and now me and I think I am a bit delirious with fever right now... Trying to string together a sentence isn't really working.
Thinking of you and understanding so well the frustration of the dreams you're having...
I had twinges of guilt the past day about having xAH arrested this weekend and the thought (although fleeting) crossed my mind that "gee, what if I'd just let him stay and not confronted him for being drunk... " and in my mind thought that maybe that would have been better than confronting him and all that followed.
So, whether it's in a dream or in real life, it's something I imagine a lot of us wrestle with from time to time...
Sorry if I am rambling-- flu has hit D3, D6 and now me and I think I am a bit delirious with fever right now... Trying to string together a sentence isn't really working.
Thinking of you and understanding so well the frustration of the dreams you're having...
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Columbia MO
Posts: 1,127
Prazosin for nightmare control
Amy,
My Psychiatrist is on staff at the VA hospital and he treats lots of vets with PTSD, well they were giving some of these Prazosin for high blood pressure and found that it eliminated their nightmares.
I take 3 mgs a night about an hour before bed, it is amazing, I have had chronic nightmares since I was little, this just stops them cold.
It has no side effects and is cheap, I pay about $7.00 for a months worth.
Big hugs,
Bill
My Psychiatrist is on staff at the VA hospital and he treats lots of vets with PTSD, well they were giving some of these Prazosin for high blood pressure and found that it eliminated their nightmares.
I take 3 mgs a night about an hour before bed, it is amazing, I have had chronic nightmares since I was little, this just stops them cold.
It has no side effects and is cheap, I pay about $7.00 for a months worth.
Big hugs,
Bill
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