Redheadsusie

went well - I really like my couselor - he seems to be knowledgeable in abuse and addictions. We mostly talked backgrounds today but he says I seem to have a pretty firm grip on things and I am not crazy - wow that was a relief Anyway - I know what is going on - I know what I deserve - I know what I need to do - I just need to convice myself I am worth happiness and I am hopeful he can help me learn some skills to learn this. He asked me who I talk to about this and I told him really nobody in person- my friends are sick of me I feel - my sisters are burdened with my Dads Cancer and my sons are my sons and talk to me a little but it is not their place - they actually tell me to kick his ass out - anyway- I told them about this site and you and how grateful I am - I am not in a position to offer much advice or wisdom these days as I am so unsure of myself but please know how grateful I am to have you and this site and as much as I do not wish this on anyone - it makes me feel not so alone to know it is not just me fighting this alone. I am blessed in so many ways and to have you is one.! Life is good.

inpieces314

My therapist, I got a new one last month, listens to me complain about my boyfriend, and then she is like, "Well, what did he do FOR you this week?" "When is enough going to be enough?" "What is he doing to show you he loves you?" Well duh, I never thought of all that stuff on my own, and I think the couple of times I did, I thought I was being selfish or something. But it is refreshing to have someone on your side. That is why I like being here too, because I don't feel so alone in all this mess.

jessiec

So glad your first experience was a good one! I've been going since November, and love it. It is so nice having someone listen and ask questions and bounce ideas off of.

Eight Ball

It makes so much difference to have a therapist/councellor with alcohol/addictions experience. They talk the talk and you get a feeling like they 'get it'. Also, having someone validate your feelings and bouncing ideas off a person who you believe to be 'normal' is also great.

I was no where near ready to leave my AH when I first started going to my therapist and was trying to find a way of living with him harmoniously.

After a few sessions, my therapist had said a couple of things to me that got me thinking and they started to sink in and when that started to happen, I knew it was time for me to leave for my own sanity and I felt worthy enough to put myself first.

Just going to therapy is a positive step and a step on the road to recovery, so I highly recommend councelling, particulary someone with addictions knowledge. My life is very different and peaceful today and I attribute that to my therapist and the words she said to me that changed my outlook and SR of course.

Willybluedog

I am so glad you all had positive experiences, I know therapy saved my life, I was literally at the end of my rope the first time I went back in 1987, I am back in therapy again because of detachment issues and it has been an amazing help.

Susie, you deserve love, you deserve to be treated well, you deserve good things, you are beautiful, strong, and smart, please tell yourself this every day.

Big hugs to you,

Bill

naive

so glad you went.

i recall when i first began therapy, i said to her "shall i bring AB with me next time?"

she looked at me and said "why?"

and i said "well, then we can sort everything out"

and she said "no naive. this is not about him. it's about you and why you've created this cycle for yourself, why you continue to tolerate such abuse. it has nothing to do with him."

as time went on, we rarely if ever spoke about him. i thought therapy would be my one hour gripe session...gee, was i wrong!

cricket123

I had my 1st session today and I think it went well. RAH was not too happy though, I think she validated some of my feelings and that did not go over well. I guess the thing we have to decide is what direction do we want to go; stay together or not. We have another appointment in 10 days.

Wing

I'm a newbie here. I've been visiting this website for months since I broke up with my ExABF. But I just joined today.

I just went to my 3rd counseling session today. Cried a river & used half a box of tissue paper.

Does it help? I'm not sure. The social worker is telling me that I actually still love my ExABF, no matter what i've been through. She said that I must accept this. & told me that my brain & my heart kept fighting against each other & that's why I'm so tortured.

But what could I do? All I want is just to cut loss and look forward. If there's a pill that could make me stop loving him, I would swallow it immediately!

It hurts!!! The rship was so toxic & it drove me crazy! I've already tryied to take a break 3 times, I cried & told him that I couldn't handle anymore. & I was so afraid that I'd get emotional breakdown. & finally, it really happened.

Last Fri, 5 months after breakup, it finally really end! With drama, violence & Police.

All I want is to heal.... myself...