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How to Help a Teenager?

Old 12-26-2011, 10:59 PM
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How to Help a Teenager?

Oh, the holidays... What do you do when your 15 year-old brother, who is being neglected, declares "I will dedicate my life to stopping mom from drinking!", and breaks down into tears from memories of her using hard drugs in front of him?

He should be a kid! So aggravating, the things he's seen and been through. Straight A honors student too. I see him heading to this dark Codie place and I dont know how to help.

Meetings and therapy dont appeal to teenagers like they do adults! Any suggestions or experiences would be great. Thanks!
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Old 12-27-2011, 02:17 AM
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Alateen? real life or online chat forums..
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Old 12-27-2011, 06:50 AM
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every teenager is different - and even if the meeting/therapy suggestion doesn't stick now, he'll have the memory and something to go to when he's better ready in the future.
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Old 12-27-2011, 09:40 AM
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Alateen would be a great place to start - at least with some literature.

Books help, if your teen is into reading. These days teens read with apps on their smartphones so it makes it really simple to order an ebook.

Understanding and being treated like a grown up - even if the teen isn't quite yet! Being asked their opinion and their desires instead of being told. Being heard and respected.
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Old 12-27-2011, 02:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Tuffgirl View Post
Alateen would be a great place to start - at least with some literature.

Books help, if your teen is into reading. These days teens read with apps on their smartphones so it makes it really simple to order an ebook.

Understanding and being treated like a grown up - even if the teen isn't quite yet! Being asked their opinion and their desires instead of being told. Being heard and respected.
That's a great idea, ebooks! It's true, even if he doesn't take my suggestion and go to meetings at least some of the info might sink in.
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Old 12-27-2011, 03:06 PM
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The worst feelings while growing up with an A dad were the feelings of loneliness and shame....giving him access to AlATeen literature, books about addiction, and meeting schedules will allow him to take a step in the right direction....I wish I had known about AlAnon/AlATeen when I was still in my teens - it is what finally turned my head around in my twenties. Good luck to you both!
Peace,
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Old 12-27-2011, 04:14 PM
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And give him guidance towards college--take him to visit campuses, talk about scholarships, look over the FAFSA forms with him. Introduce him to people you know who work in the fields that interests him (architects, doctors, whatever). Help him focus on his own bright future.
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Old 12-27-2011, 04:21 PM
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It sounds like the best thing he can have is YOU!
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Old 12-27-2011, 06:19 PM
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Meetings and therapy dont appeal to teenagers like they do adults!
Yeah but - meetings DIDN'T appeal to me at first - not at all! Not for some time! But I went because I didn't know what else to do - where else to turn.
Maybe at least help him be aware of ala-teen and how to find it? It has helped me SO much to know "I am not the only one".

May you + your brother find some peace!
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Old 12-28-2011, 01:55 AM
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My dad was an alcoholic. I became an alcoholic. The first thing you need to do is make sure he understands that he CANNOT stop his mother from drinking or using drugs if she isn't ready to quit. Alateen or al-anon can help with this. He (and you) also need to understand that alcoholism runs in families and children of alcoholics, whether they feel like they're in danger or not, need to be careful around alcohol. I mean no offense by this, I never in a million years would have thought I'd inherit the problem. i wish you both the best of luck.
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