onceuponatime2

About two weeks ago AH tells me that he wants to change, and for the first time ever in our marriage he asks for forgiveness for his drinking. I think he was sincere at the time. He claims he hasn't had a drink for a few months though he has not seeked any help for his recovery.

Well, tonight he picks a stupid arguement over something stupid and minor then packs a bag and storms out the door. Well, I will admit my mistake of reacting to the said stupid arguement in the first place. However, I am a little suprised by his reaction to stomp out the door because it was a short arguement because I caught my mistake and stopped arguing and walked away.

So, why the major overreaction by him to pack a bag and leave? When he was packing and stomping about I said nothing at all. He threw my car keys at me and left. The usual codie in me would either beg him not to go and smoothe things over, or get angry and yell something at him as he goes out the door. He just texted me saying he was filling up his car and going to drive as far away as he could possibly get away on a tank of gas. Emotional support needed please.

Leaping

sorry you are going through a difficult time with your AH. Unless he seeks help for his disease you are in for more drama and more conflict. Do something nice for yourself tonight, know you are not alone.

YOu asked why the reaction from him? My guess is that he is on his way to some serious drinking.

Good luck

jOSE2

Hi Serinityprayer,

Its just a thought on my part and my experience of these out -burst, My XAH used to do that, usually it was because, that he'd been planning it ! to leave at or over a minor disagreement,or he caused one,so he could get back to his drinking,

When he was in Recovery for a while ,he told me that he did it on purpose and had an argument planned to start with me,of course I didnt realize this,in the end I had to let go! and let God ,the addiction was too much for him.

All my best wishes to you,its such a baffling disease

onceuponatime2

Thanks Leaping,

Yea, him storming out to drink has crossed my mind. I'll try to enjoy the rest of my evening and quit allowing his drama to fill my head.

dollydo

He is going on a binge. If he was not working a strong recovery program, he was white knuckling it...that never works.

What are doing for you? Attending Alanon meetings? Have your read up on codependency?

I would suggest that you also read all the stickies in the Family & Friend Forums, including the Substance Abusers forum, as an addict is an addict, alcohol or drugs, makes no difference, addicts all do the same thing, as do we codies.

Read around, keep posting, it will help.

onceuponatime2

Thanks jose,

It is sad that everything is destroyed for the sake of a drink.

onceuponatime2

Yes, I do attend al-anon. If not I would be crazier than I already am. lol.. I've read some about co-dependency, and yep I am co-dependent. I work on not reacting and trying to keep the focus on me and not Ah. I say many prayers to God to help me with my co-dependency. I usually read a lot of posts and don't post often. But, I have learned a lot from others sharing on these boards too.

fedup3

serenityprayer, my prayer for you is serenity now go do something for you and let him do what he does best and that is play the alcohol game.