Returning to Normalcy
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Returning to Normalcy
I've been (re) reading a book I found on Amazon titled: Dealing with the Crazy-Makers in Our Life, by David Hawkins. With a lot of newcomers to the F&F board, I thought today would be a good day to list the author's guide to "returning to normalcy".
He asks the reader: "What would your life be like if instead of being invalidated by the crazy-maker in your life and perhaps, sometimes even yourself, you were validated? What if you honored and freely affirmed your feelings, sensations, intuition, and thinking? Chances are your world would begin to make sense again."
1. Feeling what you feel is okay. Feelings are not right or wrong; they just are. No one can tell you what you should feel. However, talking about feelings is good and necessary.
2. Wanting what you want and asking for it is okay. Getting your needs met is necessary.
3. Seeing and hearing what you see and hear is okay.
4. Having fun is okay and necessary.
5. Telling the truth at all times is essential. This will reduce life's pains. Lying distorts reality.
6. Knowing your limits and delaying gratification is sometimes important. This will also reduce life's pain.
7. Developing a balanced sense of responsibility is crucial. This means accepting the consequences of what you do and refusing the consequences for what someone else does.
8. Making mistakes is okay. Mistakes are our teachers - they help us learn.
9. We need to respect and value other people's feelings, needs, and wants. Violation leads to guilt and other hurtful consequences.
10. Having problems and conflict is okay. However, we need to recognize and resolve them.
He asks the reader: "What would your life be like if instead of being invalidated by the crazy-maker in your life and perhaps, sometimes even yourself, you were validated? What if you honored and freely affirmed your feelings, sensations, intuition, and thinking? Chances are your world would begin to make sense again."
1. Feeling what you feel is okay. Feelings are not right or wrong; they just are. No one can tell you what you should feel. However, talking about feelings is good and necessary.
2. Wanting what you want and asking for it is okay. Getting your needs met is necessary.
3. Seeing and hearing what you see and hear is okay.
4. Having fun is okay and necessary.
5. Telling the truth at all times is essential. This will reduce life's pains. Lying distorts reality.
6. Knowing your limits and delaying gratification is sometimes important. This will also reduce life's pain.
7. Developing a balanced sense of responsibility is crucial. This means accepting the consequences of what you do and refusing the consequences for what someone else does.
8. Making mistakes is okay. Mistakes are our teachers - they help us learn.
9. We need to respect and value other people's feelings, needs, and wants. Violation leads to guilt and other hurtful consequences.
10. Having problems and conflict is okay. However, we need to recognize and resolve them.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 137
I sometimes find myself getting self-righteous in my thoughts. I am starting to feel A LOT better after having left my husband 6mo. ago. Like, I think: "Man, I busted my ass so hard when I was with him. I need a break."
But I forget any time I let go, I am letting go of myself. You can go too hard in being selfless and selfish.
But I forget any time I let go, I am letting go of myself. You can go too hard in being selfless and selfish.
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