I'm new to this, please guide me

Old 10-08-2011, 06:09 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Charlotte NC
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I'm new to this, please guide me

I am new to this although I have been in denile for quite sometime of my wifes addiction to Alcohol(mainly wine). She has finally started AA and I have started to go to Al-anon meetings in my area. I feel so empty right now, so full of mistrust and I can only hope that the feeling can change, will change. Please let me know that it can happen. I'm just looking for support and I hope that I've come to the right place. Thank you.
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Old 10-08-2011, 06:19 AM
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peaceful seabird
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Location: floating
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Welcome to the SR family!

You are in the right place. You have found a wonderful resource for information, support and encouragement. We understand living with alcoholism.

Please pull out your keyboard and make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed.

I recommend the sticky (permanent) posts at the top of the forum. Those contain some of our stories and tons of wisdom.
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Old 10-08-2011, 06:27 AM
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Today is a New Day
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I'm glad you found us, scottow, although I'm sorry for the circumstances that brought you here.

And yes, things do get better.
Around this time last year I was a nervous wreck and a complete mess, in trouble at work for my lack of productivity and I even swallowed an entire container of Tylenol trying to end it all. (Fortunately there wasn't enough pills left in the bottle, as someone else had used most of them to cure his daily hangovers.)

When I finally came out of denial of how bad things were, and allowed myself to feel my emotions and admit how I was feeling, I was all over the place! It was like I hadn't felt anything over the past several years, and now everything was coming out at once. I would laugh and cry at the same time, be angry and sad and happy and hurt and hateful and grateful all at once, and it took awhile for things to settle down.

I had to allow myself to experience all these crazy and conflicting emotions, but now that I've worked through them and allowed myself to feel, I feel calm more than anything. It takes time, but it's worth it.

In my case, XABF (my alcoholic ex-boyfriend) was also abusive, so there really wasn't any choice but leave, or stay and allow him to tear me apart even worse than he had already.
Now I'm rebuilding a life of my own. I have two cats, a library of books I like to read, a small collection of climbing roses growing on the balcony, and most importantly, my serenity. My life is mine, now.

It does get better, just keep moving forward!
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Old 10-08-2011, 01:09 PM
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Journey To Me
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Kyle, Texas
Posts: 395
Welcome to SR

I'm sorry you feel this way. I wanted to drop by and let you know that I am here for you. I know it may not seem like it right now, but it does get better. It is completely possible to regain the trust and to feel whole again.

What helped me was typing out my emotions. I typed my situation here, on a journal log on my PC, and I started a blog. I typed out my thoughts and feelings anywhere I could think of that would help me vent. I think a counselor or therapist will also help sort out all the jumbled thoughts and resentments. Keep going to Al-Anon.

Keep posting here. We are here for you.
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Old 10-08-2011, 01:15 PM
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I'm no angel!
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Welcome, yes, you are in the right place. I too, was in denial for many years, this was
in regard to my mother, the main alcoholic in my life. She has been drinking for 65 years,
non stop, it's been quite a ride!

Read around the family and friends forums, and please read all the stickies both on the
alcoholic forum but he substance abuser one. Lots of information that will help you to
work this this process.

Kee posting, it will help.
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